The Quotes Page

"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar; you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say."
"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone"
"Hate is not something to carry, it is something to overcome."
"Have the courage to seek the wisdom that will grant you power."
"Everything not saved will be lost."
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
"A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself."
"Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling."
"Why does it take a minute to say hello but forever to say goodbye."
"I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."
"She said they're OK, but the house is flooded up to the second floor right now."
"Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on."
"I wore that same shirt yesterday playing golf...there goes the Nike account."
"Doing nothing is very hard to never know when you're finished."
"You're excited? You should feel my nipples!"
"What doesn't kill you sometimes makes you wish it did."
"Warden, your dog is lecturing me again."
"I like half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!"
"Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals."
"If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun."
"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."
"I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school."
"You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst."
"He punched the highlights out of her hair!"
"Let it all hang out, its only skin."
"Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. "
"I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely destructive. We've created life in our own image."
"Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb."
"One trouble with trouble is that is usually starts out like fun."
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling."
"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings."
"Duty is heavier than a mountain; Death is light as a feather."
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
"If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"
"Sometimes getting teams to work together is like herding cats."
"You, my friend, are just a few plums short of a fruit pie."
"They say time is the fire in which we burn. Right now, Captain, my time is running out. We leave so many things unfinished in our lives. I know you understand."
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car."
"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
"If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done."
"I haven't lost my mind; I have a tape back-up somewhere."
"The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination."
"Eaten any good books lately?"
"Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived."
"'If they were servants by nature,' said Colon, 'you wouldn't have to beat them to get them to obey. It's a brave man who beats a little child. They'll no doubt write songs about your courage.'"
"It's said that nothing is meant to last forever, so thank God I wasn't either or everything I make would be gone before I would...and that would just suck!"
"Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up."
"Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep."
"The Cake is a Lie..."
"Screw the money, I have rules!...Wait, let me try that again...."
"Any big fish in the ocean can make you believe, but we are the ones that make miracles happen."
"It's almost like being free, but it seems like its just another set of chains in the end."
"A true friend will follow you into the rain to help you with your problems."
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils..."
"Some things are worth waiting for while others you'll never live long enough to see. Duke Nukum Forever is one of those things you'll never see."
"Life is more important then want."
"If you run out of yarn don't worry, we have plenty of glass."
"To move mountains one must first understand the stone."
"Don't listen to the deer, the deer likes to tell lies"
"Optimism! How adorable! I love it! Even at the end, you make me laugh. I'm lying. That wasn't funny at all."
"Sanity is a word for those that are in denial. We're all insane, some of us have just haven't accepted it."
"Authors, some are nice, some are mean, and then some are just a pain in the ass. But we love them regardless because they are masters at what they do best."
"Authors, can't live with them....can't live without them...or can you?"
"Whoever said sleep was over rated probably never had children."
"Sanity is a great thing to have...but if you want to be an author you'll have to get rid of that, your brain won't be needing it anymore."
"It's hard to say what makes a man when all I've got is paper and pens."
"Yarn! I'm out of yarn! Or is that ink? It made it hard to write so it must have been ink...NO I don't use paper! It must have been yarn!"
"The Incidental Expert - There are times, where, since you were once seen in the same room as the documentation, that you become the expert."
"The shoe is on vacation, they might want to try asking the chair...assuming he hasn't been nailed to the floor again."
"Wonderful! Time for a celebration...Cheese for everyone!"
"A morning without coffee is like sleep."
"Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad."
"I fear no evil, for I am fear incarnate!"
"Whoever wrote this episode should DIE!"
"I don't like to sit... sitting is for people who like to sit."
"Love is a game that two can play and both win."
"I bet with those long ears you can hear the voices..."
"Do you remember which key it is?"
"It isn't Rob, Jeff or myself. It is all of us that are driving this board or sites to be a valuable, challenging or alternative site to read...Just never forget that ever..."
"Those who do remember the journey are often overcome with profound remorse for the regretful actions buried within their dreams, the only physical evidence buried within the artifact itself; all that remains from the lost world."
"We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves."
"Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about."
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
"Health food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of a lot better."
"How do I know that my youth is spent? Because my get up and go has got up and went."
"Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing."
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
"A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug."
"Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all."
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness."
"Your foots on fire."
"I'm right here. This is who I really am. I'm not pretending."
"Hope is a waking dream."
"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything."
"Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable."
"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
"If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
"When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends."
"Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends."
"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing."
"Confucious say man who know Y is going up in world."
"I like to fart in the tub"
"Love is a second life; it grows into the soul, warms every vein, and beats in every pulse."
"Hugz and Peace"
"So this is what you're sending me out into the world with? Love is Lust, Hate Fades, there is no Ass."
"That's such Bias bullshit."
"If you open your mind for me, you won't rely on open eyes to see..."
"'Adam, do you know how copper wire was invented?' Carl injected. He paused for a second or so as everyone turned to him before looking directly at his wife and adding, 'It was invented by two lawyers fighting over a Penny!'"
"Ha, young gods these days, they have no respect."
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education."
"It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
"A closed mouth gathers no foot."
"Forget Injuries, never forget Kindnesses"
"Even if you don't really understand just being there helps more then you could ever possibly know."
"Act as if what you do makes a difference, because it does."
"Recall it as often as you wish, a happy memory never wears out."
"Yay! Flow Chart!"
"Water is Wet."
"It's not how you live, it's whose life you change in the wake of yours."
"Sweetness and Life."
"Hard work pays off later but laziness pays off now."
"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he or she is someone today."
"If you don't stand for something then you will fall for anything."
"The only reason for time is so everything doesn't happen all at once."
"Do or do not, there is no try."
"Good nature and good sense must ever join; To err is human, to forgive, divine."
"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"
"Reading maketh a full man; Conference a ready man; and writing an exact man."
"'I'm not stupid!' In Bean's experience, that was a sentence never uttered except to prove its own inaccuracy."
"Be careful what you wish for, you might get it."
"Once you duct-tape a Ziploc bag to a man's chest, there's no going back."
"The World Would Be A Better Place If We All Had Slushies!"
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."
"Never argue with a fool, he may be doing the same thing."
"If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else you will have succeeded."
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
"Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden."
"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye."
"It's not how you live, it's whose life you change in the wake of yours."
"Every person is gifted in some area. We just have to find out what."
"We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he or she is someone today."
"Experience is the name that everyone gives to his mistakes."
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
"It matters not how oft you kneel, in attitude of prayer so true, unless inside, where no man sees, your very soul is kneeling too."
"Recall it as often as you wish, a happy memory never wears out."
"Love is a little blind; when we love someone dearly we unconsciously overlook many faults."
"Remember the tea kettle - It is always up to its neck in hot water, yet it still sings!"
"Happy times and bygone days are never lost. In truth, they grow more wonderful within the heart that keeps them."
"Prayer should be the key of the morning and the lock of the night."
"There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved."
"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow."
"When God measures man he puts the tape around his heart - not his head."
"The gift of happiness belongs to those who unwrap it."
"It's the little things we do and say, that mean so much as we go our way. A kindly deed can lift a load, from weary shoulders, on the road."
"We believe that the power behind us is greater then the task ahead."
"No one knows me like God does."
"I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward."
"To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides."
"The angel fetched Peter out of prison, but it was prayer that fetched the angel."
"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."
"The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future life."
"Teaching is the choicest of professions because everybody who is anybody was taught how to be somebody by a teacher."
"The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires."
"The people who influence you are people who believe in you."
"We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves."
"Children are our most valuable natural resource."
"Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day."
"The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery."
"I am not a teacher but an awakener."
"The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving."
"The secret of education is respecting the pupil."
"We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future."
"The student armed with information will always win the battle."
"Every student can learn, just not on the same day, or the same way."
"What's done to children, they will do to society."
"Act as if what you do makes a difference, because it does."
"When one helps another, both are strong."
"A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever."
"I will be the gladdest under the sun, I will touch a hundred flowers and not pick one."
"I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment."
"Give what you have. To someone it may be better than you dare to think."
"People do their best work when they are passionately engaged in what they are doing."
"If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started."
"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living."
"Do everything with so much love in your heart that you would never want to do it any other way."
"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, my friend, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end."
"He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool: shun him. He who knows not, and knows that he knows not, is a student: teach him. He who knows, and knows not that he knows, is asleep: wake him. He who knows, and knows that he knows, is wise: follow him."
"If we learn to appreciate more of what we already have, we will find ourselves having more to appreciate."
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
"The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays."
"No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave."
"We do not take action to gain or prove we are valuable, we take action to gain results and discover more of who we already are."
"Eagles don't flock. You have to find them one by one."
"Every person is a God in embryo. Its only desire is to be born."
"In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us."
"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."
"Love is a little company of two; where joy is doubled, grief divided, and the road is traveled together."
"If you could only love enough, you could be the most powerful person in the world."
"Love in its essence is spiritual fire."
"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."
"Ideas are worthless. Intentions have no power. Plans are nothing-unless they are followed with action."
"The most effective way to achieve right relations with any living thing is to look for the best in it, and then help that best into the fullest expression."
"To understand your parents' love, you must raise children yourself."
"Love is a second life; it grows into the soul, warms every vein, and beats in every pulse."
"A self-centered man admitted, 'Sure, I know that the Bible says to love our neighbor as ourselves. But frankly, I don't believe that my neighbor can stand all that affection.'"
"I did not hear the words you said, instead, I heard the love."
"Its better to have loved and lost, than to have hated and won."
"Love is not blind, it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it chooses to see less."
"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying."
"Love is not a matter of counting the years - but making the years count."
"Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within the reach of every hand."
"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."
"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's lives"
"A happy family is but an earlier Heaven."
"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."
"Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble."
"Teenagers are people who act like babies if they're not treated like adults."
"There is always a moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in."
"If you want children to keep there feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders."
"The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose."
"A candle loses none of its light by lighting another candle."
"He who sees a need and waits to be asked for help is as unkind as if he had refused it."
"Eagles may soar, but weasels are never sucked into jet engines."
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"Pessimist always take the cynic route."
"We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon."
"History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon."
"Whether you think that you can or that you can't, you are usually right."
"An obligation to feel can freeze feeling."
"All that is not eternal is eternally out of date."
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
"100 percent of us die, and the percentage cannot be increased."