I was sitting in my room and it was nice and quiet. The moon beams were shining through the one and only window I have in my attic room. I was glad that we lived out towards the country and not in the city proper. The night time noises were rather soothing of sorts, of course I would not wish to be out there alone. I may enjoy the solitude but Mum never raised a complete dumb ass. And since my little holiday in the downtown hospital, even my sibs left me be at night. They let me have some space which I truly appreciated. I needed a lot of time to think about what had been going in my life in the last few weeks. I had thought I had the world by the short hairs, but now I found out differently.
First off. I had just become a teenager. That should have been the highlight of my life up until now. Thirteen years old, and not a care in the world. On the road to manhood and all the little secrets that would be mine to know. But then, only a few short weeks after that celebration, I was lying in a hospital bed, near death and being given Last Rites by a priest.
Juvenile Diabetes was the diagnosis. I Guess that is what you might consider a "SELF INFLICTED" dumb-ass boo boo. I am sure people told me, more than once, to watch what I eat and cut back on all the sweets I was consuming, BUT NO! Lukas knows better. Now I am paying the price for not listening, and for not heeding their advice.
Three and four times a day, I need to stick one of my finger tips with a little needle device which measures my blood sugar levels. I have to give myself 2 injections a day. TWO NEEDLES each and every day of my life until I die, and "Gods" I hate needles. But I know how to do that. Measure out the insulin into the syringe, make sure there's no air trapped inside and then jab my thigh with the pointy little bugger.
Oh, I know how to do it. I had to practice morning, noon and night at the hospital until I got it right. I had to use an orange to practice on. I asked the nurse, "WHY an Orange?" I was told that they had just run out of persimmons. Sheesh, millions of comedians un-employed and I get Nurse Katz. I got the idea and eventually was un-hooked and released from my captivity.
Not to say my three week stay at the Saint Anne's was anything but rosey. The food sucked, the telly reception was just barely tolerable and the nurses were a huge pain in the rear. And I do mean that literally...probing and jabbing and cutting my arm in half with that stupid blow-up thingie, and taking blood every hour it seemed.
"Sheesh girl, how much blood you think this little boy holds?" I bellowed one day after this pretty young thing (who I truly believed needed glasses) took forever to find a vein.
But if there was one thing that kept me going, it was my mate Taylor. He was the one constant the whole time I was there at St. Anne's. Mum and Da tried to be there everyday, but they had their employment and the rest of the tribe to care for. They were there when they could be and that was what truly counted. I love my parents regardless of all the wise things I say about them to my mates. My parents love every single one of us, without question.
Now Taylor was another matter. Every day at exactly 4:15 P.M. on weekdays, Tay walked through the door carrying his backpack loaded down with his school texts and other assorted stuff. He would then greet everyone in the room on his way to my bed, which was in the corner by the window. He would eventually sit down in between me and the window and pour the contents of his pack onto my bed. Gods, that boy can collect. I know he had a sweet tooth like me, not as bad, but he never was without an energy bar. But no more. Fruit and grain cereal bars were the contents of his pack now. He did not want me to get the shakes like I experienced the first few days I was awake.
It would seem I had become addicted to sugar and caffeine, and now that I was not allowed even a sniff from kilometers away, I was experiencing what a physician would call: "WITHDRAWAL." Sheesh. I certainly had it bad. That first week I was awake and knew what was going on, I was still with the shock of being told my life was taking a radical change right there and then. I do not think I could have survived it if it was not for Tay.
He held my hand when the shakes started and talked to me softly to keep my mind off of anything related to sweets. He wiped my forehead and hugged me when I cried out in pain.
"Lukas," he would whisper in my ear as I shook uncontrollably. "It ain't nothing mate. Just hang in there and squeeze if it really hurts. I can take it love."
I begged and pleaded with him to bring me anything, even a little slab of chocolate. Anything. But Taylor was having none of that.
"You want to die? Is that it! You selfish little puke. How can you even think I could survive that?" He would scream at me, but always he would come back beside me and hug me even tighter.
I did not like that one bit. "I thought you were my bestest mate? I thought you would do anything for me? I thought you loved me?" I screamed right back at him.
I cried and shook and cried some more, and Taylor held me close and whispered senseless nothings in my ear, but he never once left my side.
He talked with the physicians about my condition and how I was to be treated and what he could do to help. He even came in the Saturday after I awoke and took lessons on giving injections of insulin, what signs to watch out for when I was going into shock, how to monitor my glucose levels and so on and so forth. No one knew why he was doing this. Certainly not me...not then, but now?
It was a Friday evening and Tay was coming over to the house for a planned sleep over. Okay, so we were both teenage boys and there was only the two of us. We can still have a sleep over, can't we? Tay had been stopping by the house each day for a little while, dropping off my school assignments and little tidbits of news. I would not be allowed back to a normal school schedule until my system became stable. I still had the shakes and my mood went from being a typical teenage boy to a crying ball of flesh.
My family had gone on a very strict watch over me. My mum hid or tossed all the sweets in the house. Fruits and vegetables appeared without warning in our kitchen. Whereas before, Mum would just place huge bowls and platters of food on the table, now everyone was served like at a restaurant, with measured amounts on their plates. Instead of glasses of cola to drink with our meal, fruit juices, milk and water now hold center stage. GODs, I hate being controlled, but I guess my life is no longer mine now.
"Lukas!!!" My mum screamed from down below. My room is up here in the attic, which is neat in the spring and fall months. Winter time I just bulk up on extra wool comforters. In the summer I head out to the barn and sleep in the loft.
"Lukas, Taylor's here." Mum shouted as I heard a sound like a herd of roos lumbering up the stairway. Tay is not light on his feet. No way, no how.
My bedroom door was shut, but does that stop Tay? Nope. No knock, no "G'Day," just barges right in and locks the door behind him. I never used to ever lock my door before, but now when Taylor came over, he made sure to toggle the latch so we weren't disturbed.
He then heaved his pack on my bed, but he didn't stop there. He came right up in front of me and grabbed me around the waist and lifted me right off the bed. I realize I had lost a little bit of weight when I was at St. Anne's, but Tay just heaved me up and hugged me as if I were nothing but a feather.
Even though he had seen me that afternoon, he hugged me as if we hadn't seen each other for ages.
"Hey Thumper. You look a lot better now. Had a good supper?" He asked even as my feet dangled a few centimeters off the wooden floor. I was so going to kill him for that pet name but not right then. Tay started this ritual that began the day I returned home.
We were literally nose to nose and with that, Tay rubbed his nose gently against mine. It felt so wonderful, like tiny electric shocks. I didn't hold back either. I just closed my eyes and moved my face around ever so slightly. We did this for a few seconds, then I could feel Tay pull away and I could then feel his lips brush up against my nose.
Gods, that felt so good. I shifted a little so now my head was resting on his shoulder, and his head swiveled and I could feel him snuffle my hair. I did the same but only on the soft part of his neck. That musky boy scent that all thirteen year olds have, filled my nostrils.
We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, but we knew it'd been only seconds. In the last fortnight this had become our ritual. Our little part of heaven that we both refused to share with others. I had learned every little bump on Tay's face and neck, the softness of his hands and hair. I am sure he had found out about me through our afternoon explorations as well.
This is not normal. Teenage boys are not supposed to act this way, at least not towards each other. Maybe with girls, but not with one another. It's un-natural, its un-God like, or so the Bible and our priest says. I have been taught that these types of actions are totally wrong and that anyone who acts this way is unclean and is going to hell.
"Tay," I pulled away just enough so I was still eye to eye with him. Still nose to nose with this wonderful warm body I considered my bestest friend.
"Tay. You know that what we are doing is wrong don't you?" I spoke softly to him.
"How can this be wrong, Lukas? How can showing our affection towards each other be wrong?" As one of his hands rubbed up and down along my backside, I can feel the warmth that it's generating and I do not wish him to stop, but he has to.
"Sprite." The use of his pet name always gets him to stop and take notice.
Looking into his deep green eyes and almost loosing myself in there, I spoke the things that needed to be said. Regardless of my feelings for Tay, I needed to say them.
"Tay, it's wrong. We're two boys, two of the same sex and in the eyes of God and all mankind, it is wrong what we are doing." I said it but I did not believe it in my heart.
"Lukas! Is it wrong to love? Is it wrong to show your love towards your parents? Or your loves towards your siblings? Or you're your Granny who you only see once a year?"
"That's different and you know it Tay. I love my brothers but I do not go around hugging them and rubbing noses with them. I love them, but it's a deep inside love I have for them." I said quickly, still not believing I am saying these things, wanting to say different but afraid.
"Oh! I get it. You are afraid people will think you're gay. Is that it? That they'll think you want to do all that dirty stuff gays do?" Tay spoke harshly as he released me from our hug and placed me back on my feet, but still facing each other.
I could see he was pissed at me right now. I have never seen him this upset before and it was frightening me. His sea green eyes had gotten darker if that was possible and the way he was holding his hands, clenched at his sides. But then he looked upwards and gave a big sigh and shrugged his shoulders.
"Lukas. I do not know whether I am gay or not. I certainly do not want to do those gay things right now to you. Maybe later, but right now I just want to be close to you." He had a sad look on his face when he said that.
"I want to hold your hand and snuggle up when it's cold. I want to share everything I do with you, watching the sunrises and sunsets together. I want to go to sleep at night by your side and wake up the same way. I just know somehow I need you by my side always." He had reached out and taken my left hand and was rubbing the palm softly with both his thumbs. It was such a soothing feeling.
"Tay, ever since that first night we met at the patrol meeting, I also knew that there was something special between us. I remember that tingly feeling when we touched." I spoke to him almost in a whisper.
"And what we both are feeling right now has been blessed. Do not ask me how or why, but I just know that we are both destined for bigger and better things, and that we are meant to be with each other. Forever."
Before I could keep on with that train of thought, there was a loud hammering on my bedroom door. It startled the both of us and brought us back down to earth, at least for the moment.
"Hey Lukas. Mum wants to know if you and Tay are needing a snack or something to drink?" It was my younger sibling Thomas.
"She made a plate of veggies with a dip that's to die for." Out of all my sib's, Thomas was the only one who actually enjoyed the new diet I forced upon the family.
"Later Tom. Tay and I are discussing some very important matters." Which was the truth, but I wasn't about to clue him in on exactly WHAT.
"Okay bro. But look at what time it is? Don't forget to check things out." As he was saying this I heard him start down the stairs.
"OUCH!" I breathed as I felt a sting in my left index finger. Tay had just stuck me there and was now watching the digital readout on my sugar monitor.
"Keepers" I was in a zoo and all these people were "MY KEEPERS!"
"Yeppers. Time to put some stuff in that little thing you call a stomach. Your readings are off a tad." Tay took me by my hand and went to the door.
Later that night, we lay in my bed snuggled together for warmth and because it just felt good. Tay looked at me and said, "Lukas, this is so right. Tell me you believe that what we are doing right now is WRONG?"
We were facing each other, nose to nose and our arms around each other, drawing us closer and closer together. I could clearly feel his heartbeat against my body. The warmth his body, the softness of his skin. His breath upon my eyes.
How could I say this is wrong? How could I deny my feelings towards this boy I call Tay. Whether it is right or wrong in the eyes of the world, I couldn't deny my feelings towards him. I cuddled closer and felt at peace with the world. As I slowly I drifted off to sleep, I thought I heard a soft whisper in my ear. It wasn't Tay, he was already asleep, snoring softly. I just let it pass and drifted off myself.
A ghostly figure straightens up from besides the bed. His reddish hair gleams in the moon light. He slowly walks towards that light with a hint of a smile upon his face. The figure enters the moon beam and then disappears. Only two small bodies with similar smiles and one snoring, occupies the room.
Authors Note: Tay and I truly enjoyed writing this chapter together. It brought back a few very good memories we had forgotten about, totally. As we sat on our chair in front of our PC, we could not help but to snuggle and cuddle together as we tried to remembered this memory or that. And we would like to thank; Our awesome Big Brother Jon for taking the time to help us out in everyway possible and for editing "OUR STORY" Without him, this story would only be an idea. And we would also like to thank our other Big Brother Brad Who hosts our work. Our Uncles and our Da who stand by and protect our bunz. We truly appreciate all their love and help. And I hope all you guys who read "LIFE BONDED" enjoy this chapter as much as we enjoyed remembering and writing about it. Thanx heaps everyone.
Editor's note: I am honored that Lukas and Tay asked me to help out with their story. I change very little of their original text, doing my best to preserve the charm of their writing. I hope you enjoy getting to know these two remarkable young men as much as I have. If you like the story, why not send them an encouraging note? I'm sure you'll be rewarded with a reply, and a "G'day" for your trouble. One thing that sets this story apart from so many I've read, is the fact that it's all true. I think an author would have a hard time making up such a loving story. I look forward to each new installment of Life Bonded.
Brad will post his note as soon as he is online again TSL
Boi From Aus
Comments welcomed and appreciated at email@example.com. No flames please.