Lifebonded

A cool breeze swept around me as I stared out towards the Bight. It wasn't an exceptional day, just another day in my very young but confusing life. Sitting here on the crest of my favorite hill I can look down and see the edge of the city and even spot my house and paddock in the distance. I come up here to get away from the noise and hustle of the big city, it is quiet and comforting up here and I seem to be gravitating to this spot more and more in the past few months. I shift a bit to get comfortable. I have been experiencing some discomfort between my legs recently. I just think I have had too much on my mind, that's basically why I am here this morning.......................

Fred and Ginger graze together just a short distance away. God's, what magnificent creatures they are. Both standing 17.2 hands high with their chestnut colouring, and the snow white feathering around their hooves. They could star in that telly commercial for that American beer, but I seriously doubt that Clydesdales do aeroplanes. I remember when Mum purchased them as a pair so many years ago, I was so frightened. They were 'HUGE' I remember I could walk upright underneath them without even coming close to touching them, and they were still growing at the time. But gentle? Oh so gentle that when I got over my fear I was never off their backs and they seemed to know that I was someone special to them.

Now, every morning they wait patiently by the paddock fence for their morning exercise. Thank the god's for that. At least that is something I am still allowed to do. Ever since my little episode a few months back, my family and mates have been treating me as if I was made out of spun glass. As if I wasn't watched every minute of every day, I would suddenly shrivel up and pass away into oblivion. Sheesh! I am a teenager for the 'God's' shake. I am not going to dry up and blow away into the wind. At least the physicians have given my some leeway. Their orders are plenty of fresh air and good healthy exercise. But nothing too dangerous. Nothing with sticks, especially. 'Grrrrrrrrrr' There goes Lacrose and Field Hockey, the 2 sports activities I truly enjoy. Outside of football that is. (Aussie Rules, of course)

So I get to exercise Fred and Ginger every morning without any interference for anyone. I grab my 6 string and my day pack and climb the ramp so I can mount either Fred or Ginger. I may not be able to walk underneath them any longer, but I am far to small still to mount them properly or without help. Mum feels safe with me up the Clyde's. They weigh more than our mini and are as sure footed as can be. When I am up there its like I am way above the earth, floating easily amongst the clouds and nothing can ever hurt me.

So here I sit, my back to my favorite rock, watching my clyde's graze and Kimmi my English springer chase a bird, tail wagging and as happy as can be. So where does that put me ?

I am trying to work out some chords on a John Dylan tune. Yes Yes Yes, I know. I am 13 and it is the year of our Lord, 2000 A.D. Can I help it if I am growing up on this stuff. My parents are yuppie hippies or something, all they ever listen to is early American folk music, Dylan. Peter, Paul and Mary. The Weavers and heaps more, so many more I cannot even think of them all. Da has a collection of these huge plastic disks he calls 'LP's' and always is playing them when he comes home from his job. Mum says that music is the way to man's soul and we sib's have always been subjected to music, ever since I can remember. Thou mum's taste flows towards the classic's and she plays the piano, for some reason I could never get into that, but the guitar. Now that's an instrument I can carry around easily enough. And the guys in the patrol love it when I bring it on a camping trip.

It is quiet up here and I love that. Gives me plenty of time to think, and think some more. And quite recently, I have had heaps to think about. And the number one thing is that I am a Class 1, child diabetic. Okay you say, not a big deal. I mean it will be a struggle to keep a diet and after years of pigging out everyday on sweets, to led a totally bland existence. But then I did some research online. 'Going blind. Loosing limbs or toes. Even dying was a possibility for me' That was scary to say the least. But the 2nd thing really had me scared................

My feelings towards Tay? What is this all about? I hardly know what to do anymore, specially around him. Whenever he is around, my insides go all sorts of funny feeling and I just don't know what to say...................................

"....................just walking down the line, feeling mighty fine..........................."

Darn, and I was hoping for some time alone. But I guess that is not to be today. I look down towards the tree line and see a multi coloured watch cap appear suddenly in the brush. There is only one individual that wears such a gaudy cap (pink n' gray and yellow and maroon) with a white tassel on the top, and singing a Dylan song to boot. My heart skips a beat or two and a smile creeps upon my face. Well, if I was going to be interrupted.......................................

Kimmi stops worrying a butterfly and turns towards that god awful singing and runs towards her 2nd bestest mate. Taylor. My Taylor to be exact.

"Lukas, Love. I keep telling you to soften your singing, I can hear you all the way down at my house. And it sounds like 2 Joey's mixing it up." I can see that evil grin slide across Tay's face.

"Tay, you know that's why I come up here early in the day. So not as to disturb anyone, especially the folk's in our community."

"Yepperz. Your better than old man Marsten and his bleeping cock 'Jingles', that bird could not only wake the dead, but most likely put them back under the sod." Tay whisper's as he parks his cute little round butt right besides me.

'.......cute little round butt...............' Where do I come up with these thoughts?

Kimmie stroll's over and sits down right besides Tay, hoping that he has a treat in his butt pack or at least give her some attention behind her left ear. That's her favorite spot for a scratchy. Well, that or her belly, but I think she will settle for a little attention paid to her head. I personally want a little attention myself. Not that I am truly looking for it. I know that I will eventually, but sheesh. A little hug or a peck on the cheek, please!

"Thumper. What are you doing? Whats going on in that tiny blonde head of yours?" Tay whispers into my ear as he places his hand in mine.

"Is it your illness or what I am doing right now that's upsetting you?" As he is speaking, he is rubbing his thumb gently around my palm. OOOOOOOOOh! That feels fantastic.

I turn slightly to look Tay in the eyes. "A little of both ................ well ............. a lot of both, to be honest with you Tay. I am scared of being diabetic. I am scared of dying. And I am especially scared that if I die, I will go to a very warm place and never see my loved ones ever again, and that includes you, Tay."

Tay can see the tears that are forming in my eyes and stops with the hand/thumb thingie. He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me closer until my head is resting upon his shoulder. He bends his head ever so slightly and looks deeply into my eyes ...........

"Lukas, love. That church of yours and its ancient dogmas has really done a number on you. Hasn't it?" I just keep looking into Tay's eyes.

"Okay Lukas. Work with me on this, please! Did God create Man?" I nod my head. "So God created you then, am I right?" I nod again. "And God made you what you are?" I close my eyes, knowing where this is going.

"So. If all those precepts are true. Then the feelings you have inside of you. The feelings you have towards me, are what God put there, inside of you. Are you following me so far Love?"

My eyes are still shut, but I am listening to every word that Tay is speaking. I can feel the warmth, and especially the love that is emanating from Tay, I know deep down inside that he is right. That God, my God preaches love and compassion, to love thy neighbour as one would want to be loved. I open my eyes and look at Tay. Really look at him for the 1st time. He would not hurt me. He would not lie to me. He was there when all else failed, and he cared about me. How could what he is saying not be true? And how can I deny my feelings towards him any longer.

"Love. For whatever reason, God made you and made me. And he put us together in one place, not to hurt one another, but to love one another ......................."

Tay never finished the sentence. Much to his and my surprise. I lifted my hands out of my lap, placed them around Tay and pulled him closer, tilting my head ever so slightly so our lips could meet properly. I held my breath as I felt Tay tighten for a second then he wrapped his arms around me and proceeded to deepen the kiss. It was mutual between us.

[Author's note: If God did make man and woman. Why did he design our faces so it would be extremely difficult to show ones affection? I am talking about NOSE'S. You can not snogg head on. You bump nose's long before you get into lip lock. Sheesh!]

I do not know how long we held each other this way. I know that it felt like forever but it could only have been a brief moment. I had to shift my position again as I was growing numb between my legs. That's been happening a lot lately and I just cannot explain it. God's. I hate the clinic's and physicians in general, but if this persists.................

I felt something cold on the back of my neck and I opened my eyes to look at Tay and he could feel a change I guess and opened his. We finally needed to breath so we broke off, and I turned to see what was so cold on my neck and it was Kimmi, pressing her cold nose against me, vying for some attention, and she's got something dead in her mouth. AAAAH! Gross. "KIMMI !!!! "

And looking about, I noticed it had gotten dark all of a sudden, thinking a cloud had crossed the sun I looked up only to find Ginger standing over us. How can a horse that big move so silently, is way beyond me. But her and Fred are so sneaky that way. It scares me sometimes.

Tay still has his eyes on me and is wearing the most goofy expression on his face. Sheesh! I love him. God's, its not supposed to be this way. But it is .................. it is just too much but I must accept this. I have to accept what I feel towards Tay, and as he said. The God's put us here on earth and somehow we are together. Well, as the Brit's say. "Stone the crows"

I look towards Tay again, close my eyes and lean forward. Pure bliss.

A few Hours later:

"Tay, I think its time we headed out, or at least off this bloody hill. Its getting a bit cold and mite uncomfortable." I shift again to relieve a sharp pain.

We were both cuddled together with our arms around each other and our backs against a boulder. I wished someone was there with us, to take a photo I was hoping. Here we were huddled together with Kimmi at out feet and Fred and Ginger standing quietly behind us. It would make a heck of a picture. But alas! We were quite alone.

"I don't want this day to end Lukas. It has been heaven all this time." Tay spoke softly into my ear.

"Neither do I Tay. But we eventually have to get going and get the guys here back to the house. Mum must be furious as it is now. Look at the time."

"Hey. How bout we head over to our camp grounds and see what damage that last storm caused?" Tay spoke as I looked over at him.

"Yeppers'z. Our patrol has not been there in quite a while now. We should check the shelter and see if it needs to be re-supplied." I said to Tay as I got up off the cold ground and started towards Fred.

"Its not too far out of the way and both Fred and Ginger do need the exercise. At least that is what Mum always tells me." I said to Tay over my shoulder as I led Fred over to my mounting rock.

I have been riding horses since I could remember, and Tay ain't no slouch either. But without saddles or something to grab onto, we ain't getting up on these guys without some help. All Fred and Ginger have are their bridals so to better steer them with and some old blankets Mum had stashed around the barn.

I lead Ginger over to this rock we found after clearing off the brush, just perfect for the 2 of us to swing up onto the horse's backs. Tay swings onto Gingers back as I do the same with Fred, but a bit slower cause I of this tender spot between my legs. Sheesh. I better talk to Mum when I get home.

We set off on at a nice walk downhill. Not towards town but angled a bit away towards the city owned park. Our patrol has a site set up for us which we are allowed to use. It is not very much. A cleared out area with a 3 sided shed on a hard packed dirt floor. And a stone fire ring me and my mates built along time ago, with metal rods to hang our pots off of. It is really neat and quite well hidden of the usual track.

There is a clear spring close by and a hand dug "loo" just a few steps away in the bushes. We don't keep much there, even thou we are allowed sole use to it. There is always the possible chance that someone might come accross our hide away and trash the place. So all thats there is a huge pile of brush and chopped wood for our fires covered by a tarpoline and a jerry filled with water.

Both Tay and I dismounted and ground tied Fred and Ginger, as if they were going anywhere real quick. There's one thing about Clyde's you need to know. They are huge horses with extra huge brains, and the one thing foremost in their minds, is LOYALTY. In huge neon flashing block letters. Well, that and the concept of hunger and food. But either way, neither of those 2 gentle giant's were going to far from us.

I walked over to check the wood pile as Tay went over to the stream checking to see if there was sufficient water in the little pool for our next camping trip. We had hollowed out a little spot for the water to kind of pool up but not become stagnant, and even thou this was the wet season. It would be quite possible to run out of fresh water.

The wood was dry and not rotten, and in sufficient quantity to work a weekend trip. Tay returned with a smile on his face and that told me that we would not need to carry in our water. That was always a possibility but not this time. We then started looking around the open area, making sure the only thing there were our footprints. We always packed out our garbage, we were taught "Low Impact" camping from a visiting American Scout last summer. It really made my patrol think camping and what effect we had on the environment. Jon was a real cool dude and really knew his stuff. Even thou he came from New York City he taught all of us about camping and the environment, and even taught me some way cool songs to play on my guitar. But anyway.

Everything was in order, at least as far as both Tay and I could see. We both sat down on a log and Tay took a bottle of something out of his pack. It was a bottle of some sort of orange liquid, by the look on Tay's face I knew it wasn't a mass produced sports drink. He opened the bottle and took a swig and scrunched up his face as if he ate a bug.

"Tay. Why do you do that? You know you can drink or eat whatever in front of me, it is not going to bother me. Well, maybe not a bar of chocolate. That would be sure torture, but the rest is okay."

"Lukas, my love. I keep telling you that it is okay with me. I just have to get accustomed to the taste is all"

"Oh crappers Tay. That is such a line. CARROT JUICE. I saw your face and I know its carrot juice, even I don't like the stuff and I have been drinking that s**t like forever it seems."

"WOW! You said the "S" word dude. There is some hope for you yet."

"TAY!" I scream in frustration. "Stop changing the subject mate. I know you son. I know we used to share our soda pop and confections all the time. I remember how you used to drool when we passed Ms. Haven's shoppe with the front all filled with those sweet cakes."

"I see how you look longingly at Sam or Erik and even Todd when we are at school lunch. When they purchase their sweets from the store and pull them out of their sacks. I should pack along a towel to place under your chin, to wipe up the drool coming from your mouth."

"Why Tay? Why do you want to suffer so much? Why can't you be like a normal boy and eat tons of nasty sweet stuff? Why do you eat like me? All the disgusting things I have to eat now. Why Tay? Just tell me why?"

I look over to Tay and see his glistening eye's staring back at me. It hurts but there's nothing I can do about it. But I have to hear it from him. I look closer into his eyes and plead with him. My eyes say "WHY?"

He slides closer to me on the log, wraps his arms around me and lays his head upon my shoulder. I can feel his body shake as he goes into a fit of un-controllable sobs. I lift my hand to scratch behind his head, softly rubbing his neck. Humming a tune gently in his ear. And there we sit. Two boys in the middle of the woods, a dog at our feet and two giant guardians afew meters away.

We held each other for what seemed like forever, but it was not quite that long. Finally, Tay pulled away and looked deeply into my swollen eyes. "Because I love you, you stupid Aussie. Because someone has to watch over you, protect you. To show you that God has not forsaken you."

I held Tay at arms length and really looked at him, not believing what I heard. Even thou I knew it to be true.

"I love you Lukas. I love you with all my heart and soul. With every fiber in my being, I love you and want to share our lives together."

"Someone told me a long while ago. I cannot remember who exactly, but someone of importance told me that you and I were special. That you and I had many great things to do together and in the future."

A sharp pain in my groin area. What the hell........................

I smiled at Tay. I think I know who he's talking about. I think we are both thinking about the same person.

PAIN! OMG! The PAIN!

I double over and scream in shear anguish. Tay looks at me and cannot understand what's going on. He bends down and tries to get me to sit up but all I want to do it curl up into a ball until the searing pain goes away. I cannot help it, it is taking over everything in my mind. I just want it to stop, I want it to go away. Anything. "Dear God" I think. "God, help me. Please oh PLEASE help me! The pain is so great. I cannot think. GOD!"

I can barely open my eyes, everything is all blurred. I can see Tay and I can hear him speaking, trying to get my attention. But OMG! There's only one thing I can think about now and it's the pain between my legs. I just wanna die, make it all go away. Anything.

"Tay. Make it stop! Please, make it stop!" I grab Tays jacket by the front and I am trying to shake him. Trying to get him to help me, to understand what it is that is killing me. I see his mouth moving but I don't hear anything. He has this look on his face, it is contorted with fear. He doesn't know what to do and I can't help him. I cannot even utter a single sensible word, just scream in agony. OH GOD! And then everything goes blank.

Taylor's Perspective:

"WTF!" I cry out. Thumper's got me by my jacket and is screaming into my face. His whole body is trembling and his face is all scrunched up. He is crying and screaming, and he's in pain. He is in great pain but where? How? What am I supposed to do.

I am trying to hold him, trying to calm him down. When all of a sudden, he collapses into my arms.

"Oh God NO! No God, not again. Don't do this to me God. Don't you f*****g do this to me again. NO!"

I look over to the horses. No! That's not the answer, they are just looking at me with Lukas in my arms with a look of surprise. I cannot get on them, but what............................what can I do?

I start to run, downhill, it is faster and easier. Kimmie is on my heals and I can hear the brush breaking behind me. So I know I am not alone. My foot catch's a rock and I stumble but not today Lord. Not today.

I right myself and continue me headlong flight down the hill. "Have to get my Lukas to safety. Have to get him some help.................."

Finally I burst through some bushes and right out onto the highway leading into town. RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE F*****G GREAT LORRY boring down on me at full speed.............................................................

The last thing I remember is a wind horn blowing and the tyres screeching.

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Author's Note:

Sorry bout the delay. Since we last published Both Tay and I have had some adventures. Tay is now a few pounds lighter. He had to have his HOT APPENDIX removed. Silly sod. Didn't tell anyone of the pain till it was almost too late. Well, now he knows about hospitals and pain 1st hand. (Tee hee tee hee) But he is okay now and back to his old self. And a cute little scar at that too.

Our computer also crashed and we could not get back into it till we had some expert help from above. We were afraid we might have lost this chapter, but praise the God's. Here it is.

And then lastly. I had my other eyeball fixed. Being diabetic is a hassle at the best of times. I had what is know as: DIABETIC RETINOPATHY which is spots before your eyes. It is a simple procedure to cure it, using laser's that is. So now I can see clearly and everything is right in our world.

We both would like to thank Jon, our editor in chief, who has stood by us for so very long. And who has given us advice and encouragement thorough our ordeals. Thanx heaps Big Brother. You mean the most to us.

Sorry to leave you in the lurch. I didn't die. That much I can tell you. I mean this is a true, real life story about Taylor and me. And since I am still here writing this story....................well...............we will leave it for Chapter 6.

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Host's Note:

Brad will post his note as soon as he is online again TSL

Boi From Aus

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Comments welcomed and appreciated at aussie-brats@acannex.us. No flames please.