I was standing by Noah’s locker waiting for him. I knew he hadn't been by yet; it was impossible since I have been standing right here the whole time. I got here early with my mom and Sky. Skylar was busy getting help from one of his teachers.
Soon enough people started to flow into the school halls. The longer I waited, the more nervous I got. I knew I needed to talk to Noah, but does he really need to take this long?
Just as I was considering giving up Noah and Aaron came around the corner. I stood up grabbing my backpack as I did. They walked up; Noah was avoiding eye contact. “Can we move this to my mom's office or somewhere private?” I asked him.
He shook his head, “I want to talk here.” I could see he was having trouble staying strong.
Aaron put her hand on Noah's shoulder. “Do you mind if I stay too? I just want to support you guys.” I nodded. Aaron isn't going to take a side unless it's her own. That's why I like her; she can talk sense into those who don't have any.
Noah swallowed nervously. “I don't want to be behind a blind Aidyn.”
“I know... but Noah can you just listen...” People passed by looking right at us.
Noah spoke up, “You can't even talk to me in these hallways Aidyn. I want to be able to talk to you about anything here in the open.”
I squirmed where I stood. Aaron spoke. “Noah, listen to what Aidyn has to say and be patient. It's what you'd expect when you're trying to explain yourself.”
Noah took a deep breath. “Sorry...”
“It's okay Noah.” Trying to find the right way to word this was hard... How can I say I don't know when I'll be ready but satisfy his request for a time? “It's hard for me to say when it'll happen. I have no idea when that'll be. It's like if a game was announced without a release date, it's impossible to say exactly when it'll come out.”
A couple of people in the hallway caught the last bit of my sentence. Aaron noticed as well, “Private conversation here people, screw off!”
Noah looked up at me. “I get it... so you've 'been announced' then?” I nodded. “But there is no release date yet...” I could tell Noah's mood had gone sour. He really wants to be out and be able to do things we can't right now...
“Look Noah I want to do everything I can for you, I just can't muster up what is needed for 'that'.”
Noah's eyes were tearing up, “I get it Aidyn... I really do. You're afraid of the unknown. You don't want to be treated differently than you are right now.” I guess he really does understand. “But some people didn't have the choice you do. Some people get called out on it when they are young. What about them Aidyn? When did they get to choose who knew or called them names?”
Aaron was caught as off guard as I was. “Noah that really doesn't have anything to...”
Noah cut her off. “I'm not done. You're not like them Aidyn... You have everything already and something like this... it's illegal to take anything away from you because of it. You have all the protection in the world behind you. You have support there for you.” Noah went quiet for a moment. “Whisper it to me.”
“Whisper what to you?” I didn't understand.
“You know what. I want you to whisper it to me right now. Tell me.” Noah stood there with conviction in his words. He wanted me to whisper to him, right here right now, that I'm gay. I couldn't. “You can't even do that?” again his eyes began to form tears.
“Noah... It's not easy for me to just do something out of the blue like this.”
He shook his head, “It's pretty easy for me.” He turned around and started to walk away.
This was his way of breaking up with me for good. I couldn't do anything to satisfy him in this. God damn it I couldn't even whisper it to him.
From the Noah I saw roaming the hallways to the Noah I found at the party and finally the one walking away from me now, I loved him. I loved him from the moment I saw him, and I couldn't do one thing for him.
Noah led me to Sam, my puppy. Sam makes Skylar so happy and gives us a good reason to do stuff together. That's all thanks to Noah wanting to go into a pet shop one day.
He lost his family... One by one like Dominoes. He didn't have enough time to grieve over one before losing the next. Worst of all, he found the truth about his brother... I didn't have to live through that but look at the kid.
Noah was stronger than I could ever be. He faced his truth and accepted it. Noah Wesley is gay. The entire school knows that. He faces that everyday head on and takes it like a champ.
And here I am letting this boy who I love, walk away from me because of some stupid fear of mine. Who could let this happen to themselves?
I took a deep breath and yelled as loud as I could. “I'm Gay!!” I started down the hall towards Noah, the boy I love, walking away with tears in his eyes. He turned around; you could see pain and shock in his eyes. I couldn't bear to see him like this knowing that I had caused it.
There you go everyone; you're now caught up with my tale. From meeting Noah all the way to me confessing in the middle of the hallway, 'I'm gay' for him. So now that you're caught up, here's what happened next.
The hallway had gone quiet as I yelled. Noah stood speechless in the hallway looking back at me.
A little quieter I spoke again, “I, Aidyn Scott, am gay and have feelings for Noah Wesley.” The kids in the hall looked at me, and back to Noah.
I was scared out of my mind. It happened... I said it. Everyone in the hallway knew, and the entire school would know by the end of recess if not sooner.
Skylar and Greyson came running around the corner, “Did I just hear that?” Skylar looked at me eyes wide.
Some random kid in the hallway spoke, “Ya, you're his kid brother, and you didn't know? It's even been going around like wildfire kid, get with the times.”
Aaron turned directly to the voice, “Mind your own business idiot.” She looked towards each of us as she spoke, “Sky, Greyson, Aidyn, Noah, nurse's office now!”
Noah stood for a moment and then nodded and walked towards me. He grabbed hold of my arm and leaned into me as we walked. I was still scared but if the cats out of the bag might as well show it off.
Luckily no one was in mom's office when we got there. She took one look at us and spoke. “What's going on today?”
Skylar jumped right in, “Aidyn shouted really loud that he was gay in the middle of the hallway.” Mom was speechless, “Greyson and I heard it from in front of the gym, and we ran right over to make sure it was him.”
“Aidyn...” Mom looked over at me. “How are you feeling?”
“To be honest still scared out of my mind.”
Noah hugged my arm tighter. “I'm sorry...”
I pulled my arm from his grip and wrapped it around him. “You don't need to be.”
“Still am.” god Noah can be really cheeky at the worst of times.
“Okay, so why is everyone in my office?” Mom sounded confused and flustered by the number of bodies in her office.
Aaron offered an explanation, “I figured we needed a good place for a private conversation. Is there any better place?” Mom seemed to agree with that.
After a few minutes, we made our way back into the hallways. My arm still wrapped around Noah. People made their faces and whispers. I won't lie; it bugged me every time they did it, but having Noah right there helped.
The entire day I was concerned about what other people were talking about, and every time I looked up from my work someone was looking at me. Only a week until Christmas break and then all will be good. When I get back to school, everything will be fine then... I hope
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