Harry Potter - Hellion!

 

"Your Majesty, we must act. Well, you must act, as the documents that cover the magical world in a shroud of secrecy carry the stamp of the royal lineages of Scotland and England."

"We know, Margaret. But We doubt you will appreciate the consequences."

"What do you mean?"

"What do the words Primus Rex mean to you?"

"Err... Not much. If I remember my latin, it means First King."

"Close but not quite. Remember latin puts adjectives before nouns, contrary to Saxon. It means King First, that is, the rule of the law comes from the King. The King leads, the others follow."

"But I thought that the Wizardry Secrecy Act was written in old Gaelic?"

"Yes, that was, but the Magna Carta was written in Latin. And what We are about to activate is a clause written especially for King John, should there be a treasonous branch of government within the realm. It never, ever, was mentioned, but We consider that the magical side of our society has betrayed its vows to the English Crown it took when it signed the hidden part of the Magna Carta. Betrayal has a cost, a cost more far-reaching than even King John ever envisioned. A join session of the House of Lords and the House of Commons is hereby called, to be held at 14:00 hour, this day. Mrs. Prime Minister, We shall retire to prepare. So should you. Good day, as much as this one can be. Dismissed! Guards, escort the Prime Minister to her car."

As soon as the Prime Minister and her two escorts had left, she called in the other room.

"McTavish! Get the Royal Black Watch on war footing. I want the home division in Parliament by no later than 13:00."

"Yes, your Majesty."

---

"Her Majesty, the Queen, Elizabeth the Second, Queen of Great Britain, of Scotland and of Wales, Monarch of the Commonwealth and its territories. Please rise!" blasted the Royal Chancellor, banging his staff on the floor three times.

The Queen made her way to the vacant Throne at the far end of the House of Lords, and sat down. She then took out two scrolls of leather parchment and lay them beside her on a small table. With a quick hand movement, she signaled the Chancellor.

"Be seated!" bellowed the loud mouth.

She took a breath then began:

"Primus Apex, Primus Rex, Primus Regnum!" stated her Majesty the Queen, thus dissolving in these six words several hundred years of parliamentary rule and retaking the control of the Kingdom into her own hands.

"What do these words mean?" asked a baffled reporter.

"The Crown first, the King first, the Reign First. She just dissolved Parliament, both Houses."

"Is this possible?"

"It must be, since the Lords themselves are looking at her with eyes almost falling out of their sockets."

"Since most of you do not know latin, We shall translate," began the Queen, in a cold, icy voice, that almost made it snow in the House of Lords and Hell freeze over. "Crown First, King First, Reign First. By these six words, We have activated the Primus clause of the Magna Carta. What this means is that the Barons of the time, realizing the possibility of high treason within the government, gave King John the possibility, under dire circumstances, to dissolve Parliament and take direct control of the government. One of these conditions has been met. A branch of Our government has betrayed its vow to the Crown, thus forcing Us to wrench control out of Parliamentary hands. By the same token, this Parliament is dissolved and no reconvening is to be expected until the situation is resolved, to Our satisfaction."

The room was so silent a fly would have been considered a bomb raid.

"The reason for this declaration is simple. A part of Our government, sworn to our Crown in fealty as per the Magna Carta, has disavowed its vow and created a parallel government, thus committing an act of High Treason. As you probably noticed, the Royal Black Watch have taken position inside this building, and, if you took the time to look outside, on the grounds as well. Any attempt at reconvening Parliament until such time We decide will bring swift and messy retribution. The laws of the Crown now apply. This means that civil disobedience will be repressed in blood, and the leaders beheaded in public. This also applies to the Lords. Do not believe that you are free to do as you wish in your ancestral lands. The Barons were well aware of the need to apply a strong hand to keep them in line and prevent civil war between themselves."

She took a sip of water and continued.

"As to what part of the government brought down Our wrath and Our displeasure, it is the part of Our government that is responsible for the enforcement of the laws of the land upon the magical population. Yes, you heard Us right: a part of Our subjects are magical, and thus fall under Our rules and Our protection. Should any of you harbor the idea of a witch hunt, the axe is ready for your neck. Have We made Our intentions clear enough? We consider this part of Our government in breach of featly because it has been busy creating its own kingdom within Ours, creating a complete government under its control, under Our very nose, a government that has not received Our approval, assent, or consent. The Ministry for Magic, which only has the status of a simple Ministry under the tutelage of the Prime Minister, has voted taxes, promulgated a whole slew of criminal laws, and established its own House of Lords, all without Our Royal Seal of Approval! Furthermore, it has promoted discrimination between Our subjects, creating a class structure that has forced many to flee the magical subsegment of Our realm. The final nail in their independence is their unabashed use of Child Soldiers to fight a terrorist organization grown out of their own bigotry. They only ‘won’ because a baby was sacrificed to their cowardice. Enough is enough!"

"I wonder where she found all that information in such a short time?" wondered the Prime Minister.

"I suspect she asked her military. The Black Watch are the best, and I would not be surprised if they are composed entirely of mages that just waited for a chance to prove their fealty to the Crown. That smells of insider information on a vast scale," whispered the Chancellor of the Exchequer. "Look at what sticks out of their left arm... It looks like a small piece of wood, but I would bet my balls it is a magical wand. We would have neglected this until the word ‘magic’ stuck us in the butt hole."

Meanwhile, the Queen continued, eyeing with increasing displeasure the Prime Minister and the Chancellor, that had not noticed their voice carried in the silence.

"It has come to Our attention that the terrorist by the name of Voldemort, that claimed falsely to be a lord, as no such name appears on the scrolls of peerage of either England, Wales, or Scotland, was defeated by a child of no more than one year of age! If that is how powerful Our magical subjects have become, We are ashamed! A child succeeded where they, the adults, failed! A child of mixed origin, not a pure blood, not a blue-blood as some of our narrow-minded mundane value, but a half-blood! This, in itself, should bring forth the weakness of interbreeding too closely. We did our research on that child, and he appears in Our peerage, from well before the Unification, and seems to be a true Lord, both in the magical and mundane world. We found, deep within the Tower, a list that links this boy to King Arthur. We took notice that his family received their titles from him as a Knight of the Round Table! According to the magical peerage list, he has more right to this Crown than We do! And yet, what did their esteemed Chief Justice do? Abandon him in the hands of relatives whom found no better action than to kill him, to the best of our knowledge! Albeit no body was found, the presence of a shark of the Megalodon variety in the river where the relative was seen by police submerging a package in said waters do not bode well for the survival of one Harry James Earl Potter, Lord Baron Ipswich of the Realm, Duke of Gryffindor, Duke of Hufflepuff, Duke of Ravenclaw, Duke of Summerset, Count Davenshire, to name a few! His line earned titles by conquest over time, true, but mostly they got them because magical lines were destroyed during the war with Voldemort and others of the same mold, or through attrition in time, and willed to his. Marriage added some more, such as Earl Peverell. And, according to the magical updating of said scrolls, he is Duke of Slytherin and Lord Earl Gaunt by right of conquest, as befits the laws of Camelot! That boy has more titles than We do! He reconvenes the Round Table by simply sitting! Of the twelve that sat at King Arthur’s table to dine and govern Camelot, he now holds ten seats. Yes, ten, including Merlin Ambrosius’! The Merlin! That Merlin! And he is the godson of the two other lines of Knights still alive, one Earl Lord Sirius Black, and one Countess Lady Alice Longbottom, both magical, both on Our peerage list, both titled! If it is blue blood you are looking for, fools, he has more than all of this House of Lords combined!" The Queen’s eyes seemed to throw lightning bolts in her controlled rage. "These two are being searched for, and, should anything untoward happen to them, the Magical world will know where Hell resides!"

The Queen took a breath to try and regain control of her temper, something no one had seen except her mother when she was five.

"We have therefore ordered the submission of the Magical branch of Our government by any means necessary. As We speak, Our troops are moving into their enclaves and taking control of the institutions and dissolving those considered beyond repair. A full search of all magical homes to find marked terrorists is also in progress. These troops are composed of combined magical and mundane forces. Resistance will mean death. A dedicated team is searching for one Harry James Potter, as We hope his magical prowess will have preserved him from the shark. This body is disbanded and dismissed. Leave. And Mrs Thatcher, and Mr. Francis Fox, next time We do a speech, would you be kind enough to keep quiet?"

The two faulty ex-parliamentary turned red enough to light the House like a brothel.

---

Off over the delta of the Thames, a dragon was being trailed by Harriers from a safe distance.

"What are we waiting to shoot that danger out of the sky?" asked one pilot over the radio.

"You saw what happened to the three F-16. It would swat us out of the sky in the blink of an eye. It flies faster than anything we got, turns on a dime, has a torch somewhere in its belly, and can use that tail like a fly swat. Are you in a rush to hit the military cemetery? I know you visit those in Normandy, but you will not get added to them. They are closed."

"I wonder what happened to the crew of these F-16? I saw them eject, but that was it."

"The Dragon probably considered them pieces of the bird, and did not bother hunting them down. They waited to open their parachute to be in the clouds. I saw all three going down and the dragon was already moving away. I do not think it was hungry. It probably considered the planes more of a nuisance. We might not be so lucky."

"A costly way to tell us we are a nuisance."

"Better than being food."

---

Meanwhile, in Diagon Alley, things were turning ugly. As the British troops made their way through the Leaky Cauldron pub that led to the Alley, some hard-nosed wizards tried to oppose their progress, to be faced with high-powered guns that blasted their shields like they were made out of rice paper. A dozen death-eaters, including Rabastan Lestrange and his brother Rodolphus, were meeting at that moment in the pub to discuss where their master had disappeared the previous night. It translated into a blood-soaked floor, with enough bowels to tied the rest down. The Avada Kavadra, used profusely by the dark eaters, destroyed the physical shields the mundanes carried to protect themselves from bullets, and, secondarily, from spells, but gave the gun-welders time to fire repeatedly into the magical shields, bringing them down for a final volley of bullets. The cost to the invading forces were minimal, measured in broken bones, from impact on shields. On the other hand, the death eaters were mostly killed, or wounded beyond even magical repair.

One of the numerous mages embedded in the troops, opened the entrance to the Alley and kept it open while the Her Majesty’s Own Black Watch division flooded the alley and the others, including Knockturn Alley. There, resistance got ferocious, and her Majesty’s troops resorted to rocket-propelled grenades, mortar, and flame-throwers. A house-by-house search was undertaken, and sporadic resistance resulted in the building being blown up to dust.

Luckily for the wizardry community, it was a late sunday, and most customers were already back home to dine with their family. Only shop-owners, the bank, and the seedy part of the magical populace was on hand to face the blunt of the offensive. Nonetheless, the troops found over three hundred and fifty children offering ‘services’ for food in brothels, in Knockturn Ally, and in other dark areas behind ‘respectable’ store fronts.

The Goblins did not appreciate the invasion of their sovereign territory by her Majesty’s forces and offered some resistance. The white marble floor of Gringott’s bank became green and slippery with coper-based Goblin blood before the director, one Ragnok, called for a truce after seeing that his troops could not even get close to the humans to give them a swing of their sword.

"Why are you invading a sovereign nation?" thunders Ragnok, as he eyes the commanding officer, by the name of Charles, and called Prince of Wales by the other humans.

"Sovereign? Since when is a business sovereign?"

"Since the 1612 treaty that ended the last Goblin rebellion, human."

"And whom signed that treaty?"

"The Minister of Magic of the time."

"And since when does the Minister of a minor ministry sign treaties? Or are you telling me you honor treason? The Ministry for magic has overstepped its bounds if it has signed treaties without the consent of the Crown. The Ministry of Magic had been dissolved for High Treason, and all documents it has signed without the Crown’s consent are void in word and binding. Surrender, or we will drown you in your own blood."

Just as Prince Charles said these words, a powerful explosion shook the alley from one end to the other. After listening to a quick radio report, the Prince commented: "Borgin and Burke got blown up. Apparently they had shields to protect dark artifacts, said shields did not survive TNT."

Ragnok knew the shields found at Borgin and Burke were of goblin origin. If that TNT, whatever it was, could dispose of them so easily, the bank, and the underground Goblin city, stood no chance whatsoever. He shivered at what would happen if the lower levels, where the vaults of the Twelve and Camelot resided, were breached in such a manner. The entire area would be blown to the moon and beyond. And no one knew what most of these vaults held, as their construction predated even the first Goblin rebellion. Gringott had been built around them, and so had their city. Things could get messy, quickly.

"I surrender with protest. Guards, lay down your weapons."

"No stupid act of bravery such as honor suicide! It would not serve you or your race in any way. You seem to be the leader. Stay here and be ready to be brought to the Queen at her pleasure. I will leave a regiment to guard you and your assets, and make sure the mages do not use these troubled times to create havoc. Good day, well, what is left of it. Colonel Timmins, take over."

"Timmins?"

"Yes Ragnok, I am a wizard. The same your esteemed brother defrauded by charging twice the standard tariff for the conversion from pounds to galleons. I plan on getting my money back with interest, got it? I can read, in case you do not know, and I intend to have the rules of the bank applied in full against robbers. Say good-bye to your brother and his family before we find him. I have been grinding my axe for years!"

---

Other places offered token resistance, but a few head rolls took care of the issues. The next big target was Hogwarts, and the Scottish First Regiment made its way into Hogsmeade, led by a platoon of mages. The two tunnels leading into Hogwarts were secured quickly, the Hog’s Head closed and Dumbledore’s brother secured. The candy store, Honeydukes’, was also invested. Colonel Tilburry, a graduate of the school that had met James Potter, divided his troops in two, leading one column through Honeydukes and his second in command leading the other column through the Hog’s Head, thus bypassing the wards.

By then, the students were busy eating supper along with the left-over staff. No one was linked with the wards within the school, so no one was forewarned of the muggle invasion. The school’s two guardians, Dumbledore and McDonnagall, were currently in the care of Scotland Yard. The muggles and mages spread out, taking position at strategic intersections. The great hall, were everyone was concentrated, was left alone until the troops occupied their designated staging points: the dorms, the Headmaster’s office and quarters, the Head of Houses quarters, Filch’s quarter, where the pungent individual won himself a nice new pair of steel bracelets and a broken nose for attitude adjustment. Once everyone was in place the Colonel quietly opened the double-doors that led into the Great Hall, and had his men make their way along the walls as discreetly as possible. By the time someone took its nose out of its plate, it was too late. A long line of green berets with very ominous guns were aligned along all the walls, including behind the staff table.

Silence spread amongst the students, and the drop in the noise level finally attracted the attention of professor Burbage, who looked up in interest. She did not understand what she was seeing so she asked the others nearby to look. Meanwhile, the students’ telegraph was working at full tilt, and those that had been raised in the muggle world quickly informed those of magical ascent of what they were seeing. The whispers were frightened:

"Muggles?"

"Yes, military. Green berets, the top of the line. Do not move. Keep quiet! We do not want to provoke them in any way. It is our lives that are on the line."

"You think Slytherins will hold still?"

"They better if they have any survival skills left in them. If you know of anyone at the Slytherin table that has good sense, it is time to give a signal to get his or her attention! These weapons do not stop at a body. If they start firing, hit the floor! And for the love of Merlin, do not do anything to attract their attention!"

"I hope the teachers know that too!"

"Oh, Merlin! Have pity on us! These idiots could trigger World War III by their attitude! Russell! Get Burbage’s attention! She likes you. Maybe we can avert a blood-bath!"

Russell raised his hand shakily, whiter than the marble floors, trying to get the eyes of Professor Burbage. She finally acknowledged him and signaled for him to come to the table.

"Yes, Russell?"

"You certainly noticed our uninvited guests?"

"Yes, Russell."

"Do not do anything to provoke them. They are Green Berets, the top of the line of Her Majesty the Queen’s military. Keep the other teachers quiet, for God’s sake. Now is not the moment for grand-standing! Remember, you have over one thousand two hundred students in here, children for the most part, and you must see to their protection before your ego’s."

"How do you know that?"

"Oh, come on! The course given about muggles is so outdated it could be used to train us into living in the Middle Ages! The muggles have weapons of mass destruction that can blow this school to dust in a blink of an eye, shield or no shield. My dad is a Royal Marine, Professor. He, alone, could take the entire professorial body of this school bare-handed and ridicule you. I am at the top of the class in Defense against the dark arts, and I can tell you it is ridiculous how it is designed. There is a huge difference between a formal duel and a street brawl. That is why the dark forces are winning! These guys can fight dirty, bare-handed, no wands, and win. Anything is a weapon for them, including their opponent’s own body. For our safety, keep the Slytherins under control. If these idiots try anything, it will spell the end of this school, got it?"

"That is not the way to talk to a teacher, young man!"

"If you prefer I talk to your corpse, ignore my warnings."

Russell returned to his table, while Burbage talked to the teachers, who kept looking at Russell with wide eyes. Professor Ruby-Plank made her way to the Slytherin table and began talking to the seventh years. After some idiotic comment, she slammed her hand on the table and pulled her wand, placing it between the eyes of the Head Boy.

"Scramender, you will hold your tongue, and shove your attitude up your ass with the stick that inhabits it already, or I will have your wand and break it. Got it? Whatever your dad says has no relevance to your survival or, for that matter, the survival of the others in this room. This is a question of life or death, and you will obey, or I will skin you alive, so help me God!"

A few other Slytherins grumbled.

"And that goes for you as well. Right now, the best source of information is not blood status, but muggle-born, and that information says to keep a low profile, not to provoke, and to cooperate. We have no knowledge of the outside situation currently, and some radical changes must have occurred for muggle military to manage and break into the school without even a bit of noise. You were put into this house because of your capacity at slithering and getting out of dire situations with all your body parts. Prove it by acting like true snakes: adapt, camouflage, do anything required to survive. I do not want any stupid moves, or I will reinstate the axe!"

"The axe has been reinstated, lady." said the colonel, from behind her. "I suspect these are members of Slytherin house? Their reputation for misjudging a situation precedes them. Please return to your seat, lady. I have the information you require."

"The Dark Lord will avenge us!" Scramender said out loud.

"Oh? Lift your left sleeve, sir?"

"No!"

"Either you do, or I use said axe to cut the left forearm off, is that clear?"

"You can not!"

"Ah but I can and I will. Now, sleeve?"

Scramender lifted his sleeve, revealing the dark mark.

"Oh, oh! A member of a terrorist organization that had a execute on sight order from the Queen. You two! The block!"

Scramender went for his wand but suddenly found himself flying over the Colonel’s shoulder, landing hard on the floor. Said wand went off, to be caught by a deft hand.

"Simmons? Test that wand."

Simmons did the spell revelation charm and the last twenty spells cast by Scramender were listed for all to see.

"Humm. Avada Kavadra, Crucio, Imperio, a slew of cutting spells, my, my, you have been naughty, Scramender. I wonder on whom you did those?"

"Muggles! I loved how the little boy cried when I slowly castrated him with the cutting spell, Right in front of his dad, before doing the same to the bugger! You do not deserve the right to live! You contaminate the air I breath!"

"Do not worry, you will not be breathing much longer. Were is that block?"

As the Colonel asked, two soldiers rolled in a log than raised it on its side. Two soldiers brought Scramender to his knees and put his head slightly off the edge of the block, exposing his neck.

"Wang! You got the axe?"

"Yes sir. I made sure it was particularly blunt by hitting rock with its cutting edge."

"Good. Do your office!"

Wang stood beside Scramender, whom kept yelling threats and obscenities aimed at the muggles. Suddenly, the colonel brought his right hand down, and the axe followed in a mighty shoosh, silencing Scramender and flooding the floor with gushes of blood as the heart emptied the body of its contents. A hush fell in the Great Hall.

"According to the laws of Camelot, which govern the magical world, treason brings death. So it stands. Anyone else wants a taste of the axe? I can assure you iron is good for your diet, but too much of it can be deadly."

The students and teachers eyed the blood pool, the soaking block, and the cooling body parts with fear and disgust. Some were bravely trying to hold in their dinner, not always succeeding. Nick, the nearly-headless ghost, made its way to the body.

"You did a better job than the one that used a sword on me. Too bad you can not fix his mistake."

The Bloody Baron, also watching the results, looked at the body with disgust. "If no one removes that corpse and it comes back as a ghost, I would have to relinquish my status as the bloodiest ghost of Hogwarts!"

"Do not worry! We plan to hang it by the ankles outside, with the head on a pike. He will be stripped and washed with a high-powered jet of cold water. If he comes back as a ghost, he will be the first nudist to roam the castle!" commented the colonel, not phased one bit by the ghosts.