My Life Started at the End of The World

Chapter 11 - Never Should Have - Fade To Black

Noah's POV

I couldn't take it anymore. The, ummm, what's the word? Curiosity? Ya, the curiosity was killing me. It wasn't just some book to read, it was my brother's diary. It held the deepest darkest secrets about his life... about how he thought of me...

I looked through the boxes of things of his. Nothing. Not a single key of any kind anywhere. I sat there wondering where this key I wanted so badly I would kill was hiding.

THINK NOAH!! Where would Ryan put a key? It had to be somewhere someone would know to look. I started looking through all his old Xbox games. Like the OLD Xbox that came out in the early 2000s. No luck in any of the game cases.

I just started opening anything that could have held it. My Aunt and Uncle would be home soon, I had to find it! Then it struck me! Where it was most likely hidden!

When we were little we would watch movies all the time together. We made it a weekly occurrence to watch a select few movies with just us. It had to be one of those movies. More specifically The Iron Giant. It was our favourite movie, it had to be in there.

And after only 5 minutes of searching I found it. Hidden inside the box filled with random things of Ryan's. I didn't waste anytime. I opened the VHS tape and looked inside. Nothing. With a sigh I dropped the case and it came popping out. Behind it was a little cloth bag.

I quickly grabbed it, not knowing what was inside and rushed out of the storage room. Like I said My Aunt and Uncle would be home anytime. I just hoped this bag held the key I needed.

I just closed the door as my Aunt came around the corner, “Oh, what were you doing in there Noah?”

I struggled to find an answer... “Umm, I was looking for... The Iron Giant!” Yes! That's good, lets go with that. “I didn't end up finding it. I wanted to watch it.”

She offered a smile, “We have it on dvd if you want to watch it still.”

“Thanks maybe another time. I need to get homework done right now. I'll see you at dinner.” It was Sunday... Sunday is homework day. What she didn't know is that I always do my homework on Friday night.

I quickly made my way into my room and shut the door. I brought out the bag that I hid in my back pocket. It was red velvet with a pull tie thingy at the top. You know those ropes that you tighten up and the bag closes.

I opened it and dropped out a key with a piece of scotch tape wrapped around it. It had Ryan's writing on it. “Sorry.” was all it said. It had to be the key I needed.

Making my way over to my sock drawer I began to shake. I picked up the book and put the key into the lock. I heard it click and as I took out the key it flopped down to the side. I had the key... I have opened the Diary of Ryan Wesley.

I opened it to the first page... I had a little laugh, this was an 11 year old Ryan writing things down.


March 13th 2007

So I found out girls have a diary talking about boys and stuff. So I decided to make my own. Just about memories that I never want to forget. Like my first kiss, and girlfriend and stuff.

My friends will think this is a dumb idea, so I'll keep it hidden. The key, I'll place it in The Iron Giant and it'll stay there. Noah never grabs the movies anyways. I'll be fine, no one will find out.


I thought it was funny that he mentioned I never grab the movies. Cause it's so true. I was a really tired out kid at the end of the day. I had unlimited energy during the day but after 7, it was crash time for Noah.

I skipped ahead a few pages and found another entry. It was about the first time we went and visited Aaron and my Aunt and Uncle. They usually came to us, this time it was the other way around.


July 6th 2007

VACATION!! Me and Noah and mom and dad are all going to see Aaron! I've told Aaron about you, as in this book, not who ever is reading this, and she was like “Dude that's super cool!”

Noah's currently sleeping on my shoulder right now and we're on a plane. His ears always hurt him when we land. I wish I could share some of his pain... I feel really bad for him.

I hope one day I'll be able to do something for him. Something to make him not got through pain... Even if it's just a little bit.


Awww, thanks Ryan. I skipped ahead allot now. Like an entire year almost. I started reading it


April 1st 2008

This is no joke... It happened again and it hurts like hell...


I stopped reading. The pages looked like there were certain areas where water had fell onto it. Did he cry writing this?

I went over to my computer and double check on what day April first was. A Tuesday, which meant school and mom and dad worked late and our babysitter was there with us.

I went back to the diary and scrolled back a few pages. Skimmed over them and found the one I was looking for. I looked over the page, you could see points on it were he shed tears. In no page before this was there anything like that.


January 1st 2008

I never want a new years like that again. Mom and dad went out, and left us with Kaleb. It was all fun until Noah went to bed. Then it went wrong really fast.

Kaleb grabbed my privates and told me he was horny. When I asked him what that meant he undid his pants and ordered me to, “Suck it like a lollypop or I'll make Noah do it.”

I couldn't let that happen to Noah. I'm his big brother, I wanted to protect him, so I did. I 'sucked it' as he commanded, he even peed in my mouth at the end. He made me swallow it all. Kaleb sent me to bed saying he wants to do that more often... I don't want to do it ever again.


Kaleb raped him? I looked over the next couple all the way up to the one I started to read. They all mentioned Kaleb forcing Ryan to suck him off. The one before I started to read, Ryan was nude... and getting fingered...

My brother was never staying up and having a good time with Kaleb. Kaleb was using my brother for his teenage sexual tensions. He was making my brother suck him off and strip naked. The worst of it all was the one I started to read...


April 1st 2008

This is no joke... It happened again and it hurts like hell but this time it wasn't just his fingers. He had brought what he calls a dildo over. He covered it with lotion and pushed it as far into my butt as he could. Which was all the way.

Kaleb told me to suck him off until he said stop. So I did. I took his entire shaft down my throat like he likes. He moaned like he did before he was gonna cum, but said “Stop.” Again I did as I was ordered.

He got up and came around me. Kaleb used his weight to push my shoulders down to the floor, my butt remained in the air. He took out the dildo from my ass and smiled, “Scream and your brother will find you and I'll fuck him too. Deal?”

I didn't know what he meant until he positioned his cock to my hole. I begged him not to. He didn't listen, I had his whole member in my butt in seconds. It hurt like hell!

The feeling of him thrusting himself in and out of me, it made my member grow. It felt so good, the feeling it gave me. But the entire thing felt wrong. It felt dirty. He even cam in my butt. I never EVER want Noah to feel that. I will take it so he wont have to, that's what big brothers are for after all.


I had tears running down my face as I finsihed. I was pretty sure that was the day I heard them as got up to go to the bathroom. I thought they were wrestling... I feel so bad... I wanted to join them, I almost did.

I couldn't take it anymore I took a look at the second to last entry in the diary. The page looked like it was covered in tears. It was all wrinkly and dry... Tears were shed on this page. The date was the day before he... ya.


October 12th 2009

Kaleb, I hate you. He brought me into the change room as the foot ball team was getting changed and said, “Free blowjobs from Wesley here! 20 bucks if you want a piece of his ass!

Wouldn't be the first time he pulled this, but that was for the swim team. Those footballers all wanted at least a blowjob. There were have a dozen that wanted more. They paid Kaleb and I became the centre point of two cocks. One ramming my ass, the other my mouth.

I mean, it felt great on a pleasure level. Inside though I was hating myself for enjoying this. I had cum all over me when they finished with me. A bunch of 16 plus year olds shoving their cocks into a 13 year old.

When Kaleb and I were the only ones left int he room he looked down at me. “I'm happy you tank everything for your brother. It makes it easy for me to make money.” And he just left me there like a piece of meat.

I cried... harder than now for sure. I just want this to stop! I don't want it anymore... I want...


I flipped to the last entry immediately. I need to know!


October 13th 2009

Kaleb outed me to the entire school. They all know I 'm a whore for guys cocks. Everywhere I went there was settle jokes. I even got raped by 5 different people.

I'm done. I can't take it anymore. I'm so done. Noah's out at a friends, mom and dad are gonna be late coming home. It's my only option.

Noah... if you ever read this, I'm so so so SO sorry. I... I just can't do it anymore. If the same thing happens to you, I will hate myself even more than I already do.

I left a note for mom and dad... You'll never deal with Kaleb again, I made sure of that. Noah I love you... I'm sorry.


There was blood on the page... Only a drop or two but blood nonetheless. I haven't seen Kaleb since shortly after that. It was in court, I just had to answer some simple questions. I didn't ever think it was about sexually assaulting Ryan or even that he was on trial.

Come to think of it I never went to the same high school as Ryan either. Well it was more so cause of my parents passing away but we moved to where Aaron lived to 'get away from bad memories' they said. They were protecting me from Kaleb's wrath too.

I picked up my phone and called the only number I could think of, Aidyn's. He answered swiftly like usually, “Hey Noah, sup?”

With a frog in my throat, and tears running down my face I spoke, “I read it Aidyn... I'm sorry, I just had to.”

“I'll be over in a few minutes, hang tight okay?”

“Okay...” I sat there on my bed just reading 'I'm sorry' over and over again until Aidyn came into the room. He didn't say anything but he took the book from me and read the last entry.

He gave me a huge bear hug and I just started balling. I couldn't say anything it was all sobs... I wanted to know what happened... But now I do, and I wish I never touched this book in the first place.

Chapter end


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