From Dawn to Dusk

 

A Play in 3 acts

By: Christian Martin -aka- Silver Wolf

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Resume

This play is the story of the love of two men. They meet on the beach, each a solitary figure on the horizon of the other, and fall in love. But love is not without peril. This is 1980, and AIDS is barely a blip on the medical profession's radar. One of the lovers is beaten up and, during surgery, gets tainted blood. This fact remains unknown for some years, and when they learn of this fact, they are both condemned to die of AIDS.

A few years later, one of the partners is dying, and you accompany them in the hospital, confronted with impending death. This pain is compounded by the bigotry of those who should have been the most involved in helping them face this moment. Doctors, parents, priests conspire to make the moment as hellish as possible for both of them. Fear not, some people stay humane in front of this tragedy and rescue humanity's dignity by standing up to the bigots.

At the end, bigots routed, death has taken its toll, and the surviving partner is dispersing his love's ashes to the sea, haunted by the memory of his partner.

 

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Actors' Description

Actor	Voice
Dick: white male not overly built, 2-3 years younger then Peter.	Tenor
Peter: black male, strong-looking, protective.	Baritone
Angela: Mother of Peter, a shy diminutive lady, blindly in love with her husband, to the point she would give him God without confession.	Mezzo-soprano
Godgiven Forsythe: Peter's father, a big, bulky man, sure of himself and his rights.	Bass
Doctor Walters: He is young, about the same age as the two lovers; his hair is dark and curled, and his skin golden brown, indicating mixed blood; his eyes are a deep sea blue, which turn to a deep green when he is beset by emotions and sorrow. Both colors are outstanding in his youthful face. He wears the doctor's trench with an ease that betrays confidence tempered by humanity.	Tenor
Doctor Spearman: He is about the age of Peter's dad with gray hair and a partly uncovered forehead. His eyes are as dark as his soul, his voice as cold as ice. He wears a white coat, to play his role as doctor as much as to hide his villainies by wearing a virgin's colors,	Bass
Elisabeth: Young, golden-hair, discreet but effective female nurse. She hides well her deep secret, waiting for the right time to bring the bomb out. Light blue uniform, white shoes, fit for a nurse.	Alto
Andrei: A strong man, he is confident in his job as a male nurse, and sure in whom he is, whilst still being caring for those under his care.	Baritone
Father Nicolas: Older then Peter's Dad, white abundant hair, he is so sure of himself and his place within God's plans that he barely touches the earth as he walks amongst the lowly mortals. He has the suave speech of the Jesuits, and sends shivers of fear by the sheer way he speaks to others. His eyes are gray, almost white, and dispense fire by reflecting light as though they were diamonds. Eyebrows thick and furry, they seem to try to hide horns that only appear when his shadow is visible. His heart is as dark as the robe he wears, a robe that also serves to set out his eyes. His roman collar is so tight you would think he is already strangled to death's door by it.	Bass
Narrator: The narrator does not sing; he speaks. His role is to narrate the story behind the scenes. The choir complements his role. By making explicit what is implicit, he helps people keep track of what goes on.	Tenor

 

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Opening

Set:

The opening must set the mood. It must be distinctive, a signature of the Play. The mood is two-fold: somber because the two actors will be feeling lonely, but it must also have some glimpses of hope, because there is always the possibility of meeting someone at any time.

Lighting should be of dawn, going progressively from deep black, moonless night to the brink of dawn, with the deep blue, almost purple light that precedes the sun's first rays above the horizon.

A choir is singing a blues. This text is to portray the fears gay men all have, a fear rooted in darkness, in shadows of unspoken threats, and in the very nature of being gay and out at night. Expressed herein is the hope that the night will pass safely, that light will come and push away these fears.

Narrator

Sound: waves crashing on a breach. No birds1. Voice: It is that of a storyteller, rich, reassuring, even.

Text: It is tempting to start a love story with 'Once upon a time', as if all things narrated no longer existed, and had vanished into the fog of time. But this story is contemporary, has been true for thousands of years, and will stay true for quite some time to come. Right at this moment, love is being hated, destroyed, maimed, ridiculed, or degraded. Meanwhile, hate has a field day in media, be it radio with songs that promote it, or in TV shows that display blood and guts as if they were normal feeds for us. Even sexuality is degraded to a show of dominance and violence. TV is the Coliseum of our modern Roman Empire. This is the story of two men, searching for love in a world where that love is hated with passion. Listen to them; maybe you will learn something out this story. The time is irrelevant, but let us put it around 1980. The place too is irrelevant, but let's say, for the benefit of this story, that it starts along a beach in Southern California. It is a warm, moonless night, the stars barely twinkle, and a falling star leaves a short-lived trail of light in the dark sky. Listen to the fears and hopes of gay love.

 

Moonless Nights
Choir	Sound: Wave noise dies down. Voices: Tones of fear and loss.	Moonless nights fill my soul With fears of a world run afoul Where hopes of love are lost And life is but a game of toss.
Choir		Night shadows in their blues Hide within their hues So many dark, ugly secrets That leaves us with regrets.
Choir		Moonless nights feed my fears Of deadly horny spears That hunt for my life And reduce it to strife.
Choir	Voices: Prayer	O Sun, come up and shine, Be there in my shrine, Show me the world is fine And let your peace be mine!
Choir	Voices: Increasing hope and strength	Shadows of the night, be gone! Your master, my master, the Sun In the glory of his dawn, Is coming to hunt you down!
Choir	Voices: crescendo.	Maybe today I will find the man of my dreams That will fill me with his love to bust my seams And forever darkness' fears chase away Making every night prelude to a loved-filled day.
	Sound: Waves crashing on the beach, sea birds noises.

End of Opening

 

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Act I

Actors:

Dick and Peter

The set:

The act occurs on a beach, somewhere in Southern California. It is sunrise, and the light of the sun reflects on the sea. As the actors' mood changes, so does the lighting, going from dark blue to lighter blue to finally, an explosion of fiery orange as the sun rises over the Rockies and illuminates the sea.

Context:

The time frame is around 1980. The AIDS epidemic is just beginning to show its ugly head, and the gay community is still unaware of the impact this will have on its members. Progress for the gay community is slow, hindered by racism, prejudice and bigotry. Its members live in fear, and have little way of finding kindred, so it is not without justification that Dick and Peter approach each other with a combination of fear and hope. Even if the word 'gay' or any of its popular synonyms is never used here, the fact that there is a secret only known to God, and that it is a 'he' that is called for, should clarify things.

Actors' play:

Dick and Peter are each at one end of the beach, and, even if they have not seen each other yet, they are singing a duo, which talks about their loneliness and solitude.

Narrator

Voice: Calm Sound: Waves on beach, sea birds foraging, ship horn far out on the ocean.

Text: Two lonely figures, Dick and Peter, are on the beach. Dawn is near. They both like to run the beach at this early hour, because it is almost empty, and it's still cool. Both are lonely, very lonely, and are looking for the man of their dreams, to fill the void inside their heart. Unknowingly, they are so in tune with each other that they are signing the same song, but with strophes reversed.

 

Loneliness and Solitude
Peter	Voice: Frustrated	O loneliness, when will you end? Be it day or night, You are never out of sight, Taking from me toll and stipend, As though services rendered, Or goods offered.
Dick	Voice: Pained	O solitude, dreadful solitude, Pain of such magnitude, When will my dues come to an end, And you to forgetfulness have been sent? I so wish love replaced thy cold presence Because your wind is drying my essence.
Peter	Voice: Prayer	O God, please hear my plea! I seek love but simple, Sweet and nice like this ripple, Loved and respected for whom I am, With warmth and solicitude, So as to grow and be like the sea.
Dick	Voice: Prayer	O God, you know my plight, Thy heart knows my secret, Guide my love to my heart, Guide his steps to my abode Let us love without regret And enjoy our nature and blithe
Choir	Voice: Complaint	O Loneliness, O Solitude! Two witches of the same creed, Our misery is your feed, Our cries your fortitude.
Dick	Voice: Frustrated	O loneliness, when will you end? Be it day or night, You are never out of sight, Taking from me toll and stipend, As though services rendered, Or goods offered.
Peter	Voice: Pained	O solitude, dreadful solitude, Pain of such magnitude, When will my dues come to an end, And you to forgetfulness have been sent? I so wish love replaced thy cold presence Because your wind is drying my essence
Dick	Voice: Prayer	O God, please hear my plea! I seek love but simple, Sweet and nice like this ripple, Loved and respected for whom I am, With warmth and solicitude, So as to grow and be like the sea.
Peter	Voice: Prayer	O God, you know my plight, Thy heart knows my secret, Guide my love to my heart, Guide his steps to my abode Let us love without regret And enjoy our nature and blithe
Choir	Voice: Complaint	O Loneliness, O Solitude! Two witches of the same creed, Our misery is your feed, Our cries your fortitude.

 

 

Actors' play:

Dick and Peter spot each other as they walk on the beach. The sun is slowly rising, revealing to their eyes the other's features. As they walk towards each other their emotions go from hope to fear and back, until their paths cross and they see the other's steps in the sand. At that moment, they realize they may not have another chance.

 

Narrator

Voice: Calm Sound: Gentle waves on sand

Text: They are like two opposite poles of a magnet, attracted to each other beyond their willful control. They will bind so tightly nothing will ever separate them. They fear it as much as they need it. Fear because of who they are, need, because of who they are. But who has control over destiny?

 

Steps in the Sand
Peter	Voice: Hopeful	There lies on the horizon That shadow of the sun Whose light blinds me From others to see!
Dick and Peter	Voice: Weary, scared.	Will there be love to share, Or will there be pain to bear? Will my heart be torn, Or will love be sown?
Dick	Voice: Hopeful	There comes to me, For everyone to see, The man of my dreams, From afar so it seems.
Dick and Peter	Voice: Weary, scared	Will there be passion, Or will there be derision, Will my limbs be broken, Or wil my love be taken?
Dick	Voice: Joyful	His eyes as blue as the sea Seem to be drawn to me, Could it be, could it be? That I found someone who likes me?
Peter	Voice: Joyful	His lips are ruby, And he smiles to me, Could it be, could it be? That I found someone who likes me?
Dick and Peter	Voice: Fear, deception	We pass each other, But go no further, As we see the steps in the sand That seems to run to no end.
Peter	Voice: Hopeful	He waits for me,
Dick	Voice: Hopeful	He turns to me,
Peter	Voice: Joyful	He looks at me!
Dick	Voice: Joyful	He smiles at me!
Peter	Voice: Elated	Can we hold hands Seems to say his eyes!
Dick	Voice: Elated	Can we sit on the sands Sings the love of my life!

 

Actors' play:

The lighting has changed and is now the bright golden color of a magnificent sunrise.

The two lovers sit in the sand, watching each other and the sea as the sun continues to rise above the horizon, and begin their courtship in earnest. They tell what they love in the other. Even if the description is essentially physical, it is by no means limited to this aspect as each tries to guess whom the other person is behind the mask of his body.

The choir's role:

In this context, it serves as a background to link the two soloists, expressing their deep overwhelming attraction to each other. They think exactly the same, but note that their description of each other is different.

 

Narrator

Voice: Calm Sound: Light bird song

Text: Dick and Peter begin their courtship.

 

Love and passion
Peter	Voice:In awe	Your eyes are of such beauty They make mine misty, Your lips carmine Look so divine!
Choir	Voice: Angelic yet deep	Beautiful, so beautiful That you flip my soul!
Dick	Voice: In awe	Angel with flawless skin I'm sure you are one within, Dark, rich and shiny as chocolate, That my tongue wants to lick and percolate.
Choir		Beautiful, so beautiful That you flip my soul!
Peter		Golden hair set on golden alabaster, The sun shines on you like a father, Covering you with its golden rays, Whose light sets my passions ablaze
Choir		Beautiful, so beautiful That you flip my soul!
Dick		I cannot dream of another day Where you will not lay, Besides me and say, I love you everyday.
Choir		Beautiful, so beautiful That you flip my soul!

 

Narrator

Voice: Conspiring, soft; Peeping Tom inviting his friend to spy on his big brother's night. Sound: Some rare sea gulls still clatter; waves on beach.

Text: The day has passed, and now the stars are shining above them on the now abandoned beach. They are hopelessly in love with each other and let go of their pent-up passion. Let those who feel uncomfortable about the physical love expressed in this duo ask themselves why they can see people get butchered on TV without batting an eyelid.

 

In the Darkness of Night
Dick and Peter	Sound: Small waves hitting beach, leafs rusting lightly; sifting sand Voices: Loving, gentle	In the darkness of night I feel our passions fight Your kiss fire on my lips Your hands burn my hips.
Dick and Peter		Your hardness against my hardness Lust drives us, intoxicating Desire, pleasure of the senses Love on passions sets a harness.
Dick	Voice: Slightly louder	Rubbing as we kiss and test by fire Our will for each other's desire. You move to my ears and start nibbling, Telling me your love and you're willing.
Peter	Voice: Slightly louder	As my hands travel to your ass, You begin to tremble, not of fear, But of uncontrollable desire To be brought together by my life spear.
Dick	Voice: Sensuous	As my mouth travels down, I hear you moan, Leaving behind a watery trail of love, My tongue rubs your left tit, and I suck on it You arch your back with a loud groan!
Peter	Voice: Sensuous	I hear you beg for my gift, But I'm not ready to give it, I want to explore your package See your joystick in full lift.
Dick	Voice: Gasping	I lick and suck to pursue my travels And move slowly to your navel As your belly under the tickling, Takes a belly dancer's rolling.
Peter	Voice: Gasping	Your breath short, I know I must go To the prize of all prizes To that Everest of all rises And bring my mouth to rest on that sticky feast.
Dick	Voice: Erotic	As my burning lips graze your love You shudder in delight Unable to keep quiet You howl your passion and your love!
Peter	Voice: Erotic	You beg me again to take you, But I need to finish my discovery And I proceed to lick your popsicle To the point of driving you crazy!
Dick		My mouth has found these beautiful Hidden treasures you keep so deep That you protected just for me, And I'm enjoying their texture and taste.
Peter		You buck and twist of passion Barely contained and controlled And lift your legs to let me see That love tunnel you so want me to conquer.
Dick		Unable to resist, my mouth travels Between your nuts and your rear door Driving you even deeper into lust And you wail of frustration and desire.
Peter		As my tongue flirts with that dark passage You let out a yelp of passion, A roar of desire and raw envy Of something deeper and harder.
Dick	Voice: Deep, urgent, demanding	I finally relent and move to take you And slowly slide your piston along my valley Until it finds the willing entry to my privy, And begins to push the door open with love and care.
Peter	Voice: Deep, urgent, demanding	You would have nothing of slow and easy, You are raw with desire and unfilled needs, You drive yourself hard on me, in surprise, We gasp together, both of the burn of taking.
Dick	Voice: Short on breath, laboring	I start a slow, long, deep, taking of my love, And you breathe and groan, asking for more, Deeper, harder, faster, you chant in my ear, But, love, I want it to last until morning!
Peter	Voice: Short on breath, laboring	Your muscles contract in rhythm with my moves I feel you pull me in, push me out, The heat is burning my loins, And my hardness feels like a rod in an oven.
Dick	Voice: Ecstatic	I hear your breaths become irregular, Telling me you are near the end, I speed up my to and fro motions, Increasing tempo, hitting that magical spot with gusto!
Peter	Voice: Ecstatic	You cry your passions as your seed Sprays us and lubes our bellies, The tension so tight I can hardly move, Your spasm triggering mine!
Dick and Peter	Sound: Small waves hitting beach Voices: Peaceful and content	I flow out in you, you flow in me, Drained, joined, whole again, From our shared energy we build our love In our nest, now wet, we sleep tied together.

 

End of Act 1

 

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Act II

Actors:

Dick, Peter, Doctor Walters.

Set:

The setting is a doctor's office. There are 3 chairs, 2 of which are straight chairs for the patient and a possible family member, and a bigger, much more comfortable chair with high back for the doctor, a desk, and some shelves with books. There is also a pile of medical records on the side of the desk, a stethoscope, a prescription pad, and a lab request pad on the other side. There is an examination table covered with a sheet of paper, with draperies pulled so only the end of the table is visible to the public. Further along the same wall there is a washbasin with trimmings: liquid soap, paper towels, and paper cups in dispensers. Also, above the basin, a small mirror. On one side of the sink, a blood pressure - heartbeat instrument on wheels. On the walls are diplomas, and on one side an anatomical chart. The set has two doors, one leading to the waiting room, and the other to some inner sanctum. There is also a window behind the doctor, but the shades are drawn, so it does not supply any direct lighting².

Context:

Dick has been called to the doctor's office. Dick has been the victim of a severe gay-bashing a couple of years back, and has had to undergo major repair surgery. Dick and Peter stayed together, Peter supporting Dick in his recovery.

 

Actors' play:

Dick and Peter have been let in the doctor's office by his secretary, and are sitting in the chairs provided for clients. Dick is fidgeting, but Peter is calm and reassuring.

 

Narrator

Sound: Typewriter (barely perceptible) Voice: Matter-of-factly, with a slight touch of concern.

Text: Many years have passed. Dick and Peter are still together, as hopelessly in love as their first day on the beach. Each year, on the anniversary of their first meeting, they have come back to the exact spot they first consumed their love and repeat their bonding. Their life has not been without strife. Dick got beaten up so bad he had to get blood transfusions to stay alive. Peter nursed him back to health with all the love and care he could muster. We find them at the doctor's office, where Dick has been summoned for an emergency meeting.

 

Dick	Voice: Irritated, scared	Why are we here? This place reeks of fear, Of unspoken doom Let's leave this room!
Peter	Voice: Soothing	Love, we have a meeting, And must wait, seating, Until the doctor is free, To this you must agree.
Dick	Voice: Scared	Did you not see the secretary, When she looked, it was scary, I could feel her eyes scan in contempt, Even if to hide, she made an attempt.
Peter		Of the secretary I have no care To speak out she wouldn't dare It is of you my love I worry And please don't be sorry.

 

Actors' play:

Doctor Walters walks in from his inner sanctum, carrying a medical file and sets it on his desk. He then looks at the two lovers. The doctor sits on his desk, much closer then decorum would have it normally.

 

Dick	Sound: Door opening Voice: Irritated, fearful	Doctor, why are we here Your call instilled in us fear, What could be such a disaster, To call a meeting in time so near?
Doctor Walters	Voice: Respectful	Can we talk of this in privacy Even if there is urgency, Medical practice would have family, But only this gentleman do I see.
Dick	Voice: Irritated, firm	Doctor, he is my sole family, My soul mate in life and death Sharing with me his breath, Body and soul for eternity.
Doctor Walters	Voice: Compassionate	It is true, then, what the secretary said, That you looked like two peas in a pod, In her words, you were two sods, As though she knew anything about rods!
Doctor Walters	Voice: Serious, sad	I must now breach the subject Of this meeting, however abject, And to you reveal these facts That forced me to quickly act.
Doctor Walters		I am sorry to say it was discovered that the blood Given to you after the beating by that steel rod Was tainted with a deadly disease, HIV, And that's why you have these hives.
Dick	Voice: Panicky	Doctor, tell me it is not so, Because that was years ago, We have coupled on many occasions, Never using any protection.
Doctor Walters	Voice: Very sad, hesitant and difficulty	Then I must inform you With great regret and sorrow, That your love is like you Infected to the marrow.
Doctor Walters	Voice: Very sad, but supportive	Let there be no mistakes I will do all it takes To help you face with dignity This horrendous destiny.
Doctor Walters	Sound: Door closing. Voice: Very sad, almost crying.	I will now leave you So talk you can do, This bell will be my cue To come to your rescue3.

 

Actors' play:

The doctor is hugging each man and is crying as much as they are, He leaves the room for his inner sanctum, so they can begin their grieving process⁴, leaving the file on his desk, and his eyes indicate he invites the two lovers to look into it while he is not there.

 

Dick	Voice: Sobbing as he sings	What have I done to you, This just can't be true, What are we to do, Our love has gone askew!
Peter	Voice:Reassuring	My love, we may live our dreams, Even if yet it seems It's broken at its seams It's still our shared dreams.
Dick		I cannot even construe Ever living without you, How will we together pursue, This menace our love will imbue!
Peter		For this take no blame, For this take no shame, No one foretold what came, And I love all the same!
Dick	Voice: Guilty	I am so afraid our love will wilt, That I am ransacked with guilt, I am stuck in it to the hilt, Thinking filled with silt.
Peter		On this tragedy our love will be built, And I will not be to you a jilt Nor treat you like lowly milt, But cover our love in gilt.
Dick		How can I even believe What I can't begin to conceive, I wish from life a little reprieve, So in peace we could grieve!
Peter		In denial this cannot be solved, From this we must evolve And walk to our shared destiny With pride and dignity.
Dick	Voice: Angered	I wish I could strangle life with fury, It's not fair it hit on you and me, As we were in love with all its glory, I feel cheated of my love story!
Peter		In your anger I partake, But for our love's sake, Let not ire be our stake, Or misery we will rake
Dick	Voice: Prayer	Oh God, what must I do, For you to accept and undo, That wrath to my love undue, Oh God, if only I knew!
Peter		There is nothing you can do, But stick with me like glue, With me until life's curfew, And my misery is through5.
Dick	Voice: Despaired	All I can see in front of me Is dark clouds, don't you agree, What is life without hope, Despair without the rope!
Peter		Death is our common destiny, Death is our common tragedy, Death we all face one day, This we can't change, whatever we say.
Peter		We will walk this plank together And be with each other forever By none separated ever, Our love none will sever.

 

Narrator

Voice: Somber, with a dash of doubt

Text: They have learned that they have HIV. For now Peter is holding the couple together. Will Peter's oath hold? Living under this terrible pressure can change someone's nature in depth. Love can turn to hate in a flash. Will it be so? Or will Peter fail, as the inescapable looms ever nearer?

 

End of Act II

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Act III

Actors:

Dick and Peter, Angela and Godgiven Forsythe, Doctor Spearman, Elisabeth, Andrei, Father Nicolas.

Set:

It is a hospital room, on the left a door to the corridor, visible as a cross-section, and an isolated bed at the other end of the bedroom. Dick and Peter are too poor to pay for a private room, so they have to put up with a semi-private one. The bed is initially reclined. Fluorescent lights light the room and the sun is setting, low on the horizon, flooding the room from the window.

Context:

Some years have passed, and both lovers' health has deteriorated. However, as fate has its twisted mind, it is Peter, the pillar of the couple, who is now in his deathbed. His lover is at his side, trying to comfort him while faced with his own fears.

Actors' play:

Peter is sitting in the bed, and Dick is standing besides the bed, on the side opposite to the door.

 

Narrator

Sounds: Muffled cart rolling, light steps, the hiss of oxygen escaping from a breathing apparatus. Call for a doctor (any name) Voice: Somber

Text: A couple of years have passed. As fate would have it, it is Peter who is dying first, and Dick is thrown into a role nothing prepared him for. In the couple, the lead has always been Peter, never Dick. He is lost, unable to figure out what to do or how to act. This difference of character will come into view as we look at how they react to the upcoming events.

 

 

Dick	Voice: Soft, desperate	For you, my love, I will be there, But I know life is not fair In love I gave you this ignominy, Making our love a parody.
Dick	Voice: Soft, but willful	How I wish I was in that bed, You healthy and me dead, How I wish I was in that bed Then all would be said.
Peter		I lived a short life, In love it was rife And devoid of strife Stop playing that fife.
Peter		My love, I will be there for you When the reaper collects his due, Because I believe love is so few, I doubt God our union will undo.
Dick	Voice: Soft, appeasing	Rest my love, rest! I think it is best, Rest my love, rest! And by God be blessed!

 

Actors' play:

Dick is holding Peter's hand, and undertakes to sing the lullaby he has so often heard Peter sing to him while he was recovering from the beating. Peter slowly falls asleep.

 

Narrator

Voice: Gentle

Text: Dick is holding Peter's hand, and undertakes to sing the lullaby he has so often heard Peter sing to him while he was recovering from the beating. Peter slowly falls asleep.

 

Sweet Dreams (lullaby)
Dick	Voice: Soft, appeasing	Sweet dreams, baby, sweet dreams. Dream of toys, Dream of joys, Dream, dream, dream.
Dick		Sweet dreams, baby, sweet dreams. Dream of hugs, Dream of love Dream, dream, dream
Dick		Sweet dreams, baby, sweet dreams. Dream until tomorrow, Dream without sorrow Dream, dream, dream
Dick		Sweet dreams, baby, sweet dreams. Dream of me, Dream of daddy Dream, dream, dream.
Choir	Voice: Soft, appeasing	Sweet dreams, baby, sweet dreams. Dream, dream, dream. Sweet dreams, baby, sweet dreams. Dream, dream, dream.

 

Actors' play:

Peter's parents and Doctor Spearman are in the hallway leading to Peter's room, and are looking in it by the door's window. They see what is going on in the room between Peter and this unknown man. Husband and wife are holding each other as they watch through the window.

 

Narrator

Voice: Tense

Text: Peter's parents and Doctor Spearman are in the hallway leading to Peter's room, and are looking in it by the door's window. They see what is going on in the room between Peter and this unknown man. Husband and wife are holding each other as they watch through the window. Peter never told his parents about Dick, considering his love life none of their business. It is Doctor Spearman who, with the help of the hospital staff, located Peter's parents.

 

Doctor Spearman	Voice: Strong, self-assured, very cold	There need things be said That will leave you in dread, But it is my duty, even if its not with glee, That these facts I must make you see.
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Strong, self-assured	What facts are so harsh to say That even a doctor shies away And has problem to tell The verdict that must befell.
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: getting worried	For I know my son is dying This goes without saying, His colors betray the end Where we all must be sent.
Doctor Spearman	Voice: acidic	This is but part of verity, For there in this dark room Is the scourge of God, his doom In all its gory barbarity
Doctor Spearman	Voice: contemptuous	For your son suffers of AIDS The grips of God's blades, To remove forever from Eden The ultimate sin found within.
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Mad, yelling Note: He is thinking the doctor's attitude is racist in nature.	What sin has my son committed To get by you so submitted To judgment and criticism With such acid cynicism?
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Raised, condemning	Do you not know what your son is, Or do I have to give you a pop quiz? Your son is a limp wrist, an evil-doer, Who under guise of right is a boy-lover!
Doctor Spearman		Look in your boy's room You see there the groom They wanted to marry These two fucking sissy!

 

Actors' play:

There the parents see the lover holding their son's hand, and they can see the unspeakable love these two share. The doctors and the parents walk in the room and express their disdain of the presence of the lover there and tell him to leave. Peter is asleep and is unaware, until it is too late, of the commotion his parents' arrival has caused.

 

Narrator

Sound: Bang of door being opened with force Voice: Calm

Text: The parents see the lover holding their son's hand, and they can see the unspeakable love these two share. The doctors and the parents walk in the room and express their disdain of the presence of the lover there and tell him to leave. Peter is asleep and is unaware, until it is too late, of the commotion his parents' arrival has caused. Hate enters Paradise. Dick and Peter lived a sheltered life, seldom exposed to hate. Their love bubble is about to be busted by the Devil's minions.

 

Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Threatening, mad, yet controlled	The doctor just told us, That you were our son's sucker Or worse, his ass dicker, Leave, or I will make a fuss!
Angela	Voice: Soft, unsure of herself	Yes leave now forever, I will not have your presence, Further tarnish my boy's essence By any actions whatsoever.
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Commanding	You are to leave the premises Or else so I promise, I will have you thrown on the street In an exit that will be far from discreet.

 

Actors' play:

Dick leaves reluctantly, unaware of the incoming tragedy and how cruel a father can be to his own son, having been orphaned at an early age and never adopted. Doctor Spearman accompanies Dick to make sure he leaves the hospital premises. Even if Dick left to prevent waking up Peter, Peter is coming to, just in time to face his parents' wrath.

 

Narrator

Sound: door squeaking open Voice: Sorrowful

Text: Dick leaves reluctantly, unaware of the incoming tragedy and how cruel a father can be to his own son, having been orphaned at an early age and never adopted. Doctor Spearman accompanies Dick to make sure he leaves the hospital premises. Even if Dick left to prevent waking up Peter, Peter is coming to, just in time to face his parents' wrath. Peter was awakened by the commotion, and has no time to intervene as he sees Dick leave with the doctor. His father is incensed from discovering what his son is.

 

Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Strong, hateful	I have a faggot as a son, A pansy in my family, What to God have I done To deserve such infamy!
Angela	Voice: Soft, appeasing	He is our son, your son, To be forever cherished, Whatever he has done, Until the worlds perish!
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Full of spite	No, he is no longer mine, By decree divine, In his flesh condemned From my heart, sent!
Angela	Voice: A bit louder, still appeasing	He is our child, our baby, Even if he is a sissy, I loved him as he was then, I cannot hate him even at the end!
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Contemptuous	You bitch gave me a fudge-packer, I hold you to this disaster, How will I wash my name So as to escape eternal flame!
Angela	Voice: Scared, but heating up to the argument	He is my gift of love to you, Why do you hate him so, He who has never hurt you, And to you never said no?
Peter	Voice: Strong, willful	Though you may now judge me, You were quite happy, When mom was not near To play with my spear!
Peter	Voice: Disgust	You claim to hate fags, But you played with my bag, Forcing me to eat your cum All the while telling me I was scum!
Peter	Voice: Rage	Yes mom, like father like son! He cheated on you with your own son, Abusing him as he would a whore, Fucking me until my hole was sore!
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Enraged, yelling	From my bare hands you shall perish To remove from my name that tarnish, For as reputation murderer I would prefer, To that of fathering a cocksucker!
Peter	Voice: Contempt	Who are you to call me names, You who did just the same, From within you for half I came, A result of your scummy games!

 

Actors' play:

A male nurse, who has been working on some stuff, walks in upon hearing Peter's Father state his intentions, and confronts him.

 

Narrator

Sound: Door banging open Voice: Calm

Text: Unknown to Peter's father, a male nurse is listening from the hallway, and suddenly recognizes the man whom satisfied himself in the park's restroom.

 

Andrei	Voice: Loud, strong	How dare you condemn so easily your own flesh, You who so skillfully ate my own flesh After you played with it in the men's restroom As it stuck out hard as the handle of a broom?
Andrei		You enjoyed its tangy taste, You sucked its cheesy head, And you were in no haste To finish the suck and be fed!
Andrei	Voice: Disgust	I cannot forget your ugly face, As you slobbered on my pole, And fingered my ass hole As to completion you tried not to race!
Andrei		You are a dairy Queen Hunting for boy cream Licking all my seams Relishing in my joy screams
Andrei		You drank it all to the last drop, You sucked with such power, You were unfair competition to a Hoover6, And blowjob awards would win a crop!
Andrei	Voice: Contempt	You wanted to dump your rocks Saying your wife wasn't a good fuck, And licked my hole for your pole Getting ready to play the horse's role.
Andrei		You claimed you enjoyed my tight passage, Because your wife's was slack from usage, Making her look like a public whore, As your drilling made mine sore.
Andrei	Voice: Snide	You didn't want a condom, Sure your juices were so strong They would protect you from wrong And keep you from that scrounge.
Andrei	Voice: Joyful	God I hope that you got it, From me, I wish with glee Because I too got that shit From my lover's acts of deceit!
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Outraged	I should have known that your cut stick Only could mean the foul mouth of a Jew For only these fags could screw and pray too!
Andrei	Voice: Shocked	How dare you say these lies, For others, deprived of skin are too, Some on faith, others by convention, None of their free will! And Jews are no lesser men then others, No more fag or virile in manhood than any!
Godgiven Forsythe		That confirms what I thought, You defend the lot Of those who crucified Jesus!
Andrei	Voice: Strong	I defend the defenseless, whose dignity you eschew As for Jesus, he too, was Jew, And it's the Romans that nailed the screw!
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: A bit more temperate	But it's Judas that pointed him to his tormentors, The Sanhedrin, these lackeys of the Romans!
Andrei		Judas was not Jew, he was Greek, Jealous of Peter, for he got Jesus' love While he got only the leftover.
Andrei	Voice: Snickering	Can't you see what choices Jesus made? Eleven hunky men, and Judas the weak scribe? His tastes were clear, and Judas was not in there!
Andrei	Voice: Triumphant	Jesus was one of ours, let that be clear, No women gazed his bed, No child of his ever wed!
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Shouts	You should be crucified!
Andrei	Voice: Snickering	I wouldn't be surprised if you tried! It wouldn't be the first time one of us died!
Godgiven Forsythe	Voice: Grumbling loudly	I should have completed the task, Done what the surgeon did not dare do, And bite your hose off!

 

Actors' play:

This was the last straw for Peter's mother. She would not have believed her son, but a stranger, she could no longer deny the evidence. She blows up.

 

Narrator

Voice: Calm

Text: This was the last straw for Peter's mother. She would not have believed her son, but from a stranger, she can no longer deny the evidence. She blows up.

 

Angela	Voice: Horrified	Oh God, what have I done to my son, Ignoring what my eyes could have seen! All those years bygone, lost to a false dream, Of love and care, forgive me my son!
Angela	Voice: Prayer	Forgive me, please forgive me, I beg your forgiveness today, For sins of cowardice and indifference, To your sufferings and despair!
Angela	Voice: Outraged	As for you, pig! Leave! Leave! You have hurt and deceived, A sorry excuse for a sire, Deserving what you fear, eternal fire!
Angela	Voice: Disgusted	Now I know why I felt, That you exuded of gladness Under the cover of sadness Whenever the home I left!
Angela	Voice: Sorrowful	I blamed myself for our love's welt, I worked to stay lean and svelte, In the hopes the problem could be dealt, But the reason lay under the belt!
Angela	Voice: Disgusted	Now I know what it smelt, When in love I knelt To satisfy until your cream melt! You had been having our son's pelt!
Angela	Voice: Enraged Sounds: Steps running away in hallway, a couple of fading yells from Angela	How I wish I could have you gelded For my son and me you backhanded! How I wish I could have you pelted, For my son and me you have branded!

 

Actors' Play:

The mother chases her husband out of the room, using her rather well loaded purse as a mace. A few minutes later, attracted by the commotion, a female nurse walks in, takes a look at Peter, and proceeds to go to the patient behind the draperies, he sounding a bit agitated. As she takes care of the other patient, hidden from view behind the drapes, Doctor Spearman walks in and starts talking to Peter.

 

Narrator

Sounds: Door opening to let Elisabeth in. Same sounds when Doctor Spearman comes in. Voice: Calm

Text: Doctor Spearman is coming back to see Peter. He is a bit surprised to see that Peter's parents have left, but takes this occasion to reveal his villainy to Peter, sure that Peter will not live long enough to reveal anything to anyone.

 

Choir		Here comes the doctor in chief, Who by his actions has caused lots of grief, Although most doctors are fine, Others use their robe to commit crime, And this one committed sins As old as the origins!
Peter	Voice: Pained	Doctor, Doctor, I am in such pains Give me something to keep it in reins Give me something to kill the fire in my veins
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Hatred	Why should I intervene in God's works, I see it as one of my job's perks, To enjoy your cries as pain makes you jerk.
Peter	Voice: Pained, shocked	Doctor, Doctor, what have I done to you, To be so despicable you would turn into A monster with my hurt as his due?
Doctor Spearman		To me nothing, to my kids, everything! For me to be gay is to be a cock-sucker One who enjoys being a boy molester!
Peter	Voice: Pained, pleading	Doctor, Doctor, let me die in peace, Give me that which would grease The passage from this world's release.
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Joyful	No, pain is your sins' wage, And I cannot give you passage, Without you paying God's engage.
Peter	Voice: Pained, but accusing	Are you Mangele's best pupil, To judge and torture without scruple My body until it lies in rubble?
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Strong, snickering	I need not be at anybody's mass To look at you and see the crass. And the pain you suffer in your ass!
Peter	Voice: Fearful but strong	Doctor, Doctor, Why am I dying so fast, Shouldn't this disease last, As shown by history past?
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Strong, self-assured, dominant	To you my oath I will renew, No drugs were given to you Because your death is overdue!

 

Actors' play:

Doctor Spearman has revealed to Peter that he has not given them the proper care because of his beliefs concerning gays. However, the presence of Elisabeth will counter his getting away with it this time. She walks out from behind the drapes, having heard the doctor's confession.

 

Narrator

Sound: Drapes being drawn swiftly, suspender rails moved fast. Voice: Calm

Text: Unnoticed by Doctor Spearman, a nurse was working discreetly with another patient, behind curtains, in the same room. She has heard everything, and recognizes in him the abuser of her childhood.

 

Elisabeth	Voice: Contempt	Who are you to judge others, You who abused me amongst others, And with your lust, lay my life to dust?
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Strong, but a bit surprised	Who are you to accuse me Of doing things no one wants to see, To do acts you wouldn't agree?
Elisabeth	Voice: Strong, accusing	When you lay your dirty hands Where they could offend That day, I was but ten!
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Contempt	I deny all charges your dirty mind Might claim ever to find While it hides in your behind.
Elisabeth	Voice: Aplomb	Do you not remember the little girl With that neat little blond curl That child robbed of her virginal pearl?
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Stronger, more contemptuous	Never have I heard such lies, My dishonored virtue cries Vengeance for me to devise!
Elisabeth	Voice: Strong, Angry	Every night since then I have cried, Living that torture imposed by your pride, To my too young body it was applied!
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Laughing	No traces of the deeds Can you prove without the seeds And they have long since been to weeds!
Elisabeth	Voice: Strong, enraged	In this illusion you loss lies Behind your hidden disguises The mark of infamy rises!
Doctor Spearman	Voice: Strong, enraged	I will have you rout And thrown out with clout, From this hospital kicked out!
Elisabeth	Voice: Strong. Accusing Action: Points to his trousers	There lies on your spear a mark, Which would be better fit for a shark, Whose dark contrast is stark?
Elisabeth	Voice: Strong, accusing, and triumphant	See, this infamy I can prove, Without even making a move, Unless your stick you remove!7

 

Actors' play:

Having revealed the fact that she can indeed prove her words to the world, the nurse runs after the doctor who is leaving in haste. Peter is completely lost in all this, too in shock to say a word. Even in pain, he is enjoying the respite from this turmoil. It is then that the last foe walks in, Father Nicolas. Remember that Peter is in pain, because the doctor has refused him painkillers. Furthermore, he now knows he and his love have been murdered by medical neglect but he doesn't have enough strength to fight back.

 

Narrator

Sounds: Steps fading in the distance, a call for a blue code (heart attack) in room C-320, a call for a nurse to the nurse station. Voice: Calm, contrasting with the past event.

Text: Having revealed the fact that she can indeed prove her words to the world, the nurse runs after the doctor who is leaving in haste. Peter is completely lost in all this, too in shock to say a word. Even in pain, he is enjoying the respite from this turmoil. It is then that the last foe walks in, Father Nicolas. Remember that Peter is in pain, because the doctor has refused him painkillers. Furthermore, he now knows he and his love have been murdered by medical neglect but he doesn't have enough strength to fight back.

 

 

Father Nicolas	Voice: Jesuit-like	I heard you where dying, my son?
Peter	Voice: Weak	Yes, I am!
Father Nicolas	Act: Bends, trying to hear	Do you believe in God, my son?
Peter		Yes, I do!
Father Nicolas		You know God forgives repenting sinners, my son?
Peter		Yes, I do!
Father Nicolas		Do you believe God loves us, my son?
Peter		Yes I do!
Father Nicolas		Do you believe God is infinite love, my son?
Peter		Yes I do!
Father Nicolas		What are you dying of, my son?
Peter		Of AIDS!
Father Nicolas		And how did you get that scrooge of God?
Peter		From my lover!
Father Nicolas	Voice: Accusing	Are you a sodomite?
Peter	Voice: Weak, willful	And what if I am!
Father Nicolas	Voice: Demanding	Do you repent of that sin, my son?
Peter	Voice: Weak, but outraged	I cannot repent of love!
Father Nicolas	Voice: Strong, condemning Act: Stands tall, finger pointing to Peter	Then I cannot give you absolution! Then God will forever hate you! Then you will go where you belong! Then you will go to Hell!8

 

Actors' play:

Father Nicolas is completely oblivious to the contradictions in his speech. He says God loves everybody and in less then two minutes goes to say God condemns whom He has created. But, behind the door, Andrei is listening, and decides to intervene. He walks in, with energy, slamming the door shut after having opened it with a kick.

 

Narrator

Sounds: Door being opened violently Voice: Calm

Text: Father Nicolas is completely oblivious to the contradictions in his speech. He says God loves everybody and in less then 2 minutes goes to say God condemns whom He has created. But, behind the door, Andrei is listening, and decides to intervene. He walks in, with energy, slamming the door shut after having opened it with a kick.

 

Andrei	Voice: Strong, angry	Where do you come from to judge others? From Jupiter's bums, I gather?
Father Nicolas	Voice: Authoritarian Act: Turns towards door	I am the voice of God! And should punish you with his Rod!
Andrei	Voice: Strong contempt	Do you not recognize me, Whom you reduced to sexual slavery?
Father Nicolas	Voice: Authoritarian	How dare you say such a thing? You have always been good at lying!
Andrei	Act: Points fist towards Father Nicolas	Your heart is as dark as your robe, In my organs your vile lust probed! My virginity you robed, Before throwing at me obloquy and calumny!
Father Nicolas	Voice: Arrogant, demeaning	You were God's servant, Therefore my servant!
Andrei	Voice: Enraged, resounding	You said I was but a woman with a rod, No more worth then they, a sod.
Father Nicolas	Voice: Booming, trying to imitate God's voice Act: Looks at Andrei in the eyes	It is God's decree of inferiority That reduced men to mortality Because of Eve's infidelity To his eternal decree!9
Andrei	Act: Finger prodding Father Nicolas in the chest, a prod for each verse	I was the Forbidden Fruit,10 Which you peeled of dignity! How many times you enjoyed, My hairless body to the mercy of your prod! For you gays are males acting like lowly females, That take their pleasure from searing pain Inflicted by the rod in their passage! But who are those who rape, If not gays that can't face Who they are and hope to cheat on God, By acting like beasts more than men?
Father Nicolas	Act: Pushes Andrei back with a shove	It is God's decree of inferiority, That reduced women to slavery, And sodomites to womanhood Therefore to serve manhood! And you are a sodomite, Lowly sod of a termite, To me by God given Like women by Adam taken.
Andrei	Act: Prods Father Nicolas	Stop blaming women for your own frailties! Like Adam, you are run by your small head, Like Adam, a good fuck and all is said! How many boys did you abuse, Father?
Father Nicolas	Act: Shoves Andrei	It was not abuse; it was God's punishment!
Andrei	Act: Prods Father Nicolas	How many boys did you rape, Father?
Father Nicolas	Act: Shoves Andrei	It was not rape; it was God's punishment!
Andrei	Act: Prods Father Nicolas	How many boys did you beat to infirmity, Father?
Father Nicolas	Act: Shoves Andrei	They were weak therefore not men!
Andrei	Act: Prods Father Nicolas	How many boys did you ridicule, Father?
Father Nicolas	Act: Shoves Andrei hard Voice: Snickering
Andrei	Voice: Sorrowful	I remember your taunts at those who couldn't see, At those who were different in any way, Be it in size of dick, or color of skin, or in character!
Father Nicolas	Voice: Condemning	They were different, Therefore deserved punishment!
Andrei	Voice: Contempt Act: Arm moving as if giving a whipping	You wanted, yes, boys, but you punished them, Calling them nasty names, and making them do things Beating them after, saying they were nasty! How many hits of the vicious stick Did you enjoy giving to me, in humiliation for all to see, In expiation of the sins done with your joystick?
Father Nicolas	Voice: Condemning, spitting the words out	They were no sins they were punishment! Punishments for these vicious boys, Whose body was a temptation to godly me, Woman with a stiffy, who would cry and cream on me!
Andrei	Voice: Defiant Act: Taking hold of his belt	Do you want me to show for all to see What you did to me in these fearful days During these long, dreadful nights, Before at last the sun's rays Drove me away from your dirty sight?
Father Nicolas	Voice: Defiant, trying to ridicule	You have nothing that shows, But wounds in the deep shadows, Where no one will ever see, And no light will ever be!
Andrei	Voice: Enraged Act: Points at Father Nicolas' mouth	How dare you even say God With that dirty mouth of yours, That claimed gays were wrong, While you enjoyed our mouth On that filth you call your little me?
Father Nicolas	Voice: Contempt with a snicker of joy at the end	You did not call it little, When it took time to settle In your groins the seeds of life And fire in your boy cunt was rife!
Andrei	Voice: Strong, disgusted Act: Slams fist on table 4 times: at the end of 'not men', 'the devil', 'despise', 'return'	You claim superiority to women, But you are not man, You are hell on earth, No more god then the devil, When I needed help, you abused, But these women you so despise, The whores you so hastily judge, Offered to the wreck I was, Care and love without need for return!
Father Nicolas	Voice: Shrieking with rage	I hate you fag! I hate you! You spoil what I cherish, Temptations in disguise, Women in men's bodies, Sacred by hell, damned to hell, If not by God, then by me!
Andrei	Voice: Very strong, condemning solemnly. Sound: Door being slammed as they leave	I ask God you live long and old, So that in this life, at least, You start paying for this Because death we all share, But long misery we do not. Now, leave this room, Before I use the broom On your back like you loved to do, When I was too young to fight you, Leave this place to repent, For those who lament, Their lost youth and dreams Because of your desire for boy cream!

 

Actors' play:

Andrei shoves Father Nicolas out in the corridor, pushing him roughly towards the exit.

Dick, unable to enter the hospital after being expelled by Doctor Spearman, is under Peter's window. As the light go slowly out, he knows his love is dead. He starts to sing that parting song. Lighting is now only a reflection of the sun on the window, a bloody, fiery red.

 

Narrator

Voice: sorrowful and compassionate. Sound: Peter sobbing, calling for his love to be by his side.

Text: Dick, unable to enter the hospital after being expelled by Doctor Spearman, is under Peter's window. As the light go slowly out, he knows his love is dead. He sings this parting song, asking God to take care of his love.

 

Please Remember Him
Dick	Voice: Prayer	O God, our Father, May we talk together? I wish to speak for a friend, Who has begun his journey to the End?
Dick		Could Your light guide his steps To You, in death's darkness? Could You hold his hand, On this journey to the End?
Dick		Hold him to Your heart, Hear the cries on his part, Listen to the wails of his loss, On the cold river his to cross.
Dick		Lend a compassionate ear For his voice carries fear, Let him not disappear, With the shore so near.
Dick		Your hands do extend, His wounds do amend, His pains do relieve, For in You he believes.
Dick		Your Love he sobs for For he too is Your son, Close not Your door, To a caring person.
Dick		From the grips of Death Offer him shelter, Lest his steps falter, And lead in its net.
Dick		There in our needs, For others always caring, Our weakness forgiving, These were his deeds.
Dick		Open Your Residence, To let him rest forever, To be forgotten never, To Your music let him dance.
Dick		Let him sit to Your table, Your family, a long-lost member Returning barely able, Seeking Your hearth's ember.
Dick		As long as he is in Your memory He will live for eternity, As long as he is in Your care, Forget we will not dare.
Dick		Please remember him, Now and on Judgment Day, As we remember him, On this Day.11

 

Actors' play:

As the act closes, the choir undertakes a funeral song

 

Narrator

Voice: Solemn

Text: From ashes to ashes...

 

From Ashes to Ashes
Choir		Voice: solemn prayerFrom our parents' love clash, We came, alive in a flash, Of God's Fire, mere sparks Life short burning in the dark.
Choir		Born of life's lust, Mere specs of star dust, In God we need trust, For all end we must.
Choir		Star ash, to ash, we return Contents of a tiny urn, Souls returned to God, May we be angel or sod?

 

End of Act III

 

---

Finale

Actors:

Dick and Peter

Set:

The sun is setting over the ocean in Southern California. There are some high clouds, but nothing to hide a beautiful sunset, to which Dick is totally insensitive.

Context:

Dick has taken care of his love's funeral, Peter's mother being too in shock to do much and his dad in denial of ever having had a son.

 

Actors' Play:

Dick is slowly dispersing his lover's ashes and sings a song of solitude and parting, where he considers the option of joining his love.

 

Narrator

Voice: Calm but sorrowful. Noises: waves crashing on the beach, some bird sounds.

Text: Nobody is around. Peter's parents never claimed their son's body, and the hospital has lifted Dick's ban on entering the hospital. This let him recover his lover's body and handle the funeral. Having returned to the exact spot where he met Peter and first consumed their love, Dick is slowly dispersing his lover's ashes and sings a song of solitude and parting, where he considers the option of joining his love.

 

Solitude
Dick	Voice: Deep sorrow	Why am I here? Solitude, I dread solitude, This is what I fear, Pain of such magnitude. They said, Until death do us part, Never did say until I fell apart.
Dick		My friends die around me, Their bodies no longer I see, Their voice no longer I hear, Their touch, I held so dear. I live in memories of things long time gone, I live in dread of things yet to come.
Dick		I crave for their love, I crave to love, I crave for their care, Now it is so rare, I crave for their peace Of life their release.
Dick		In the darkness of night, I hear their calls, their calls, From them, I run in fright; They need me, I am sure, My heart I hear, beats for them so pure, Or is it me, the walls hear the calls?
Dick		I fear what I crave for, The pains are growing, Slowly but ever more, Is it age, is it AIDS, No one says, no one tells, This is why I'm so afraid.
Dick		Solitude, Solitude, Will I die with you, As my only companion? Will you be alone, Will you come with pain, Be with that friend of yours?
Dick		My friends, the day is near, The day you will hear, Again and for all eternity, My silent voice call your name, Sing my love, my care, For all of you I crave.
Dick	Voice: Desperate	Open your arms to my battered soul, In them I will seek shelter from the storm, In their embrace, I will fear no more, Solitude, Solitude, you will have run your course, And forever lost the race against love, Pains in our memories shared, no further dreaded.12

 

 

 

 

Actors' play:

As the sun sets, Dick falls asleep on the beach. Peter comes to him in a dream and starts to sing this song of hope.

 

Narrator

Voice: Solemn Sounds: Light water movement.

Text: As the sun sets, Dick falls asleep on the beach. Peter comes to him in a dream and starts to sing this song of hope.

 

In your dreams
Peter	Voice: Rich, yet sepulchral	I walk in your dreams, I kiss and hug you tight, Till you bed sheets get creamed, Then I let you sleep for the night.
Peter		The night is young Your libido is strong, In your dream you cry my name, Because it is always the same.
Peter		You fear losing my image, It puts you in such a rage, You kiss the pillow, Before wetting it with sorrow.
Peter		That fateful day, you remembered When our dream came to an end, When my body to death was sent, By hatred our love outnumbered?
Peter		My soul no longer sheltered Its thin shell shattered, In death's breath it quivered, Until refuge you offered.
Peter		In you, by you, for you, my love, I live, Not forgetting what I had to give, My soul never alone, never despaired, But part of yours, unaltered.
Peter		In your imperishable memory I thrive, And with you I grieve, My youth lost so long ago, That which I had to forego.
Peter		Your body is my body, Your mind is my mind, It is for us to find, Love together today.13

 

Set:

As the curtain falls the choir sings a song.

 

Narrator

Voice: Rich and appeasing.

Text: Now you know why 'Once upon a time' cannot fit this love story. There is not the usual end to this type of story, the proverbial 'and they lived together forever after'. As the curtain falls, let us sing this song, in memory of these two lovers, and all those we loved, a reminder of the continuing tragedy of AIDS, that continues to kill today. It's titled Falling Leaf.

 

Falling Leaf
Choir	Voices: Sorrow	You are a falling leaf To who's cry we are deaf; In the silence of the night You took your final flight, That trip to dust As we all must.
Choir		Reborn to another life, Love is now your feed, From it you will seed And evade today's strife; Rest in an angel's creed You have earned your deed.14

 

End of Finale

 

---

Comments

The plot

Many things were addressed implicitly in this Play. The main theme is gay love, but another theme is discrimination. It is discrimination against gays, but also discrimination against women, and blacks. The first two are treated by a confrontational approach, whilst racism is treated with more pro-active means, by having the two main characters, Dick and Peter, be of different color. Also, by making Peter the more level-headed of the two, my intentions are to contest the notion that blacks are inherently less stable, less brainy, or in any other way diminished relative to their white or yellow counterparts.

As for the discrimination against gays, I tried to show it has common roots to discrimination against women. Both are rooted in common grounds, the assumption that women are inferior to men. For many so called heterosexuals, gays are the shame of their gender because they take on the role of lowly women. This notion is found implicitly in just about every faith there is, in the patriarchal structure of societies, and in laws and customs. Women are routinely deprived in Africa of their clitoris, in an operation called infibulation¹⁵, for exactly that reason: the reasoning is that this organ is a stolen penis and that it must be removed. The gay male is routinely castrated in these societies, and it is quite frequent the penis is also cut (chastization¹⁶). I also tried to show that many homophobes are either downright pedophiles (child molesters) or gay themselves. For me, it seems quite apparent that a homophobe is unable to accept what he is, and projects onto others his own intentions and dreams. His attitudes reflect more his weaknesses than his strengths.

Many issues involving gay love were left unaddressed, including commitments, marriage, and fidelity. The plot assumes that, come tide or rain, the two lovers stayed together; however, I have seen (and lived) quite the opposite. The drama is focused on acts of discrimination and inhumanity, not on the frailties of a union. In fact, quite the opposite is true. They become ever tighter in face of a common destiny.

The characters

There are few female characters in this Play. The mother, although she plays only a small part, reveals one aspect of the reality of many abused kids: mothers turn a blind eye to the evidence. It is only when she is confronted by the declaration of Andrei that she realizes, way too late to be able to do anything, that her son had been telling the truth.

The other female character is of totally different personality. She has been molested even raped, by Doctor Spearman, and even if she still relives the event every night, she has found the force to select a profession that would eventually give he the chance to get even with Doctor Spearman.

The male characters are more developed. The paternal figure, Godgiven Forsythe, is a typical combination of pedophile who abused his son, goes to the public restroom to get gay sex and then turns on his own flesh because he realizes that if the actions his son did were gay, then so were his. This realization he cannot face and would prefer the label of murderer to that of sissy-genitor. He doesn't even consider infanticide: for him the man in that bed is no longer his son, and therefore he cannot be killing his son.

Doctor Spearman is another example of double standards. This time it's even worse. He has deprived his two clients of medical care intentionally, and is depriving Peter of needed painkillers. He is a rapist in a white robe, which uses his profession to access little girls and molest them under the cover of the profession. Yet he sees himself as the savior of kids, and gays are, in his view, boy molesters worthy of death, which he dispenses freely under cover of medical care. Implicitly, he too considers women only good when they are fucked, and gays as women with excess luggage.

The ultimate creep is Father Nicolas, who not only thinks he talks in the name of God when he preaches hatred, but thinks he can take God's place in judging and punishing what he sees as indications of evilness. For him, boys are the ultimate evilness, because they represent women with penises. He went into priesthood to escape his demons, but only found himself in a place of utmost temptations, to which he could not resist. But, rather then blame himself, he took it on the poor kids who were under his care. Again, his standards are double: he has sex with boys, but sees sex as the ultimate sin, and gays as women in disguise, there to tempt him and send him to Eternal Hell. He is totally blind to the fact that it is his own actions that will ultimately condemn him. In fact, for him, any difference is an indication of a defect, and any defect is a mark of God, as if they were target indicators for his wrath. His favorite methods of punishments seems to have been raping and using the rod or the whip, preferably on the genitals of his helpless victims.

But why does this play give such a negative image of priesthood? For a combination of factors: historical, personal, and current events. Let me consider with you the history of religion. Histories has shown, repeatedly, that religion, rather then teach love and acceptance of differences, has exacerbated these differences in supposedly God-given directives that, ultimately, led to war. Call them holly, jihad, crusades or whatever else, wars are wars, and all end up causing vast sufferings of people who happen to be different in one way or another, or perceived to be different. Wars are rooted in beliefs, any belief, that gives a certain group the impression the others are inferior. Wars share this key feature with religion: belief. This is why one cannot but note that without religion there would be no war. Father Nicolas is at war with the world.

He is also at war with himself, with his demons. This is where current issues come to play. The number of priests involved with child abuse has risen dramatically over the years as those abused came out and their shame turned to rage. Not so long ago, the abused boy (or girl) was perceived as the culprit, the corrupting factor in the life of a priest; this idea is reflected in Father Nicolas's attitude and defense. He has the impression he is the victim, not the guilty. He took to priesthood more to escape then by vocation, but was exposed to something much more disturbing then pubescent girls. He has led a sheltered life, but reality caught up with him before he could escape it by passing.

We hear this has disappeared within today's society, but I must refute this idea. Having worked in rehabilitation centers for criminals and drug addicts, I have seen innumerable cases of psychological abuse, and, in some cases, of physical abuse. Many of my current and past clients have been abused as recently as a year ago, in religious schools of mainstream religions, and in sects. The number of SRA (Satanic Ritual Abuse) victims is appalling, and can be found, in diverse degrees of institutionalization, in many religions and sects. Personal experience as a student in a mainstream church school has also been on my mind when I wrote these lines. The utter indifference to the other's suffering, the incommensurable selfishness of these people, and their sadistic brutality has always haunted me and tainted any image I might have of priesthood as a profession. Even today, as I have to tackle representatives of the churches on issues such as drug abuse and criminality, not to say sexuality (I am openly gay), I am confronted with avowed hatred and bigotry.

Let there be no mystery here. Religious behavior is a very intimate human experience, and time after time, I have noticed we create God in our own image, and give Him intents that are our own. God is a mirror, which reflects both our qualities and our faults, multiplied thousand-fold. That priests be limited is human, but what saddens me the most is when they take on God's shoes, as does Father Nicolas. Not that this mental set is unique to Father Nicolas. It is shared, through expressed by different means: Doctor Spearman and Godgiven Forsythe take on similar attitudes, one by abandoning his professional oath for a more personal one, and the other by trying to do justice to his name. Let there be no misunderstanding: I do believe in God, but certainly not in that blood-thirsty monster that rejoices in creating such diversity just to let narrow-minded people take their fun out of the suffering of those they perceive as sinful.

Also note how religion is focused on pain, sex, and its tools. The genital mutilations in Africa have reached what some consider extremes, but history has shown that they are far from localized in time and space. Boys too have been submitted to the diktats and imperatives of faith, by circumcision, castration, and subincision¹⁷. Piercing of the body and genitals was also a frequent occurrence, be it female or male. In this view, the resurgence of these practices in youths is very disturbing at best. In many societies the virginity of a girl was so valued that her vulvae was sewed shut barely leaving place for urine to evacuate. Rituals such as scarification¹⁸ and tattooing are also rooted in the need to mark belonging and, more generally, belonging to a faith or sect.

This gives, overall, the impression that God is a sadistic sex maniac, more fit for the alyssum then the Holy Seat. I would prefer to see in this compendium of horrors more the indications of sexually frustrated ass holes, governed by their undiagnosed or drug-induced psychotic episodes¹⁹, and inclined on projecting their own fears and envies into the acts of others then a reflection of the true nature of God, as portrayed by those who claim to serve and represent Him.

Fortunately, there are some good guys in there, to save the male gender from downright slandering. Doctor Walters is one such figure, and he saves the medical profession's face by acting far more humanely then Doctor Spearman. He is younger then his counterpart, and, apparently, gay too, although it is not stated clearly.

Another rescuing figure is Andrei, who comes out very strong even if he has been exposed to a similar environment that Dick has, the orphanage. This goes to show that the effects of environment differ greatly on individuals of different character.

Dick was broken in the orphanage, and needed Peter to grow and support him. This is apparent the whole length of the Play. It is Dick that got beaten up, probably because he looked like an easy target; it is Dick that laments while waiting for the doctor; Dick, again, that doesn't find the courage to stand his ground in his lover's room; and finally, it is Dick that thinks of suicide at the end.

Peter is quite the opposite of Dick. They are opposite in color, yes, but more important, opposite in character. He shows courage in adversity, in life and in death. His courage supports his love, after the beating; it also supports him during the crisis; even in face of death, he supports Dick, and yet, it his him, not Dick, who is dying. After death, he comes back to support Dick again, and give him the courage to live on. Even Peter's last song speaks of courage in adversity. He recognizes the fact that Dick's beating affected him as much as it did Dick, and that he was destroyed as much as Dick was by this event. After all, he lost his health as a consequence of Dick being beaten up and getting HIV by virtue of a blood transfusion. But nothing will separate him from Dick, not sickness, not even death.

The sets

The sets have hidden meanings as well. The first thing that is apparent is the diurnal cycle. It is a short reminder of the cycle of life, symbolized by the action occurring both at sunrise and at night (therefore, after sunset). Dick meets Peter at sunrise: this is the birth of a new relationship, one which both of them need. This relationship is consumed that same night, their bonds set in their intimate act and their staying linked by the result.

On another level, there is also a cycle starting at that moment, but a cycle, which will cover the entire life span of Peter. His new life starts at the opening of the play and ends with it. This is symbolized again by a sunrise, but the closure is done by sunset. The finale of the Play is in continuity with this cycle. Again, you find Dick walking on the same beach, at sunset, dispersing his lover's ashes. He falls asleep on the exact same spot they made love for the first time, and Peter comes in a dream consume Dick spiritually, binding them together for Eternity.

The hospital set is very reminiscent of most double bed bedrooms found in standard hospitals. Except for a space left between one wall of the plateau and the window, where Dick will come to sing his parting, it is mostly a replica. The same applies for the doctor's office. Both are sparse, reflecting in their design the stark reality of hospital life.

Lighting has, in each set, meanings of its own. In act I, it goes from dark to light, and then back to dark but with shining stars. In act II, lighting is artificial, isolating the office from exterior influence. This gives a cold, somewhat inhumane touch to the scene, and sets the mood for the upcoming act. Act III is in an even starker environment, with fluorescent lighting in the hallway and the room. Even the light of the setting sun reflecting in the room's window, as it turns bloody red, signals Peter's death. The play of lights in the finale is also very much infused with hidden meanings. The sunset light floods the final parting gesture and the stars, which have not moves one bit, clearly indicate we are approximately at the same season where Dick and Peter met, probably the same day, but years apart. It would be fitting for Dick to disperse his lover's ashes on the anniversary of their first meeting, and totally in character for him. They probably came to that exact spot, year after year, renewing their commitment to each other under the stars.

The voices

Voices were chosen to represent a grading on two axes: age and authority. As age progresses in the actors, their voices become deeper. Also, note that the deeper the authority the deeper the voice. This explains the selection of voices for Dick, Peter, and Peter's Dad, as it progresses from tenor to bass. Likewise, the change of voice from Doctor Walters to Doctor Spearman reflects their age as well as their respective status in the medical hierarchy. The bass voice of Father Nicolas is, in this context, quite suited to represent the ultimate authority, the ultimate confidence of someone who thinks he is God's envoy sent to clean up the world of its evil. Even women follow the rules. Peter's mother has a higher pitched voice then Elisabeth, even if the nurse is younger then Peter's mother, because she has a lot more confidence in herself then Peter's mother ever had.

Yes, I am fully aware that these ideas are prejudiced, but they also reflect widely held views about what type of character is indicated by a register of voice. Preconceived ideas do have their uses in carrying hidden messages, and, as long as we are aware of the lack of valid foundations for them, we are much less liable to use them to categorize people in our everyday life, and, as author, we are free to use them within reason. It is also these limits to reason that precluded using men who would sound more like boys then full-grown adults. I did not want the prototypical castrate-in-becoming falsetto voice that is so much a part of the public image of the gay man. For the same reason, I choose to portray Peter as a well-developed muscular man, and Dick, even if he is broken inside, is still a well-built hunk, not the usual image of the sissy bend-over in high heels.

The Choir and the Narrator

The choir is a combination of a 'voice' and an actor. It plays many roles in this Play, which we will consider here. Its first role is best exemplified by the Opening. Here it sets the mood, and tells of the fears of gays trying to be themselves in a world where being who you are can have you killed. The second role of the choir is to tell the actions behind the scenes, in order to link two acts in a coherent manner. This is found in the choir's performance between Act II and Act III, which indicate that Peter has been incinerated. The choir also links characters within a song, stressing what they have in common. This is found in Act I.

The narrator is a voice taken out of the Choir, which narrates the story. This has the advantage of letting the play change narrator as it progresses; and it also lets the choir play a more active role if so desired. And since the narrator can be hidden within the Choir, its interventions will not slow down the progress of the play by obstructive appearances of what might be perceived as an anachronism on the scene.

Writing style

As you probably noticed (I hope!), the entire play is written in rhymes. Why is it so? The main reason is a question of personal taste. For me, a song in rhyme is a lot more beautiful then a song in prose. I find a song with rhymes easier to remember; I like the sound, and I know that it is not a collection of meaningless sentences put end to end to build a song, as has been the case with many modern-style works. It takes a lot of research to find the right word, the right way of using it to get a message across. For me, a song is, first and foremost, a poem. And a poem is, in my books, in rhyme. For the same reason, I have steadfastly refused to use meaningless sounds to fill in the holes where I had difficulty finding the appropriate rhymes, finding this means a short, cheap, expedient, not worthy of a good writer. I preferred waiting and even rewriting rather then use these methods. This play is designed to be sung. Unfortunately, I have not been able to write the music.

As for the contents, it should be clear by now that I am not ashamed of who I am, or of portraying difficult situations. For me, it is important that we can experience by words things that we could not otherwise feel. This being said, it becomes clear why some scenes are so graphic. They are there for you to live, unmitigated, these lessons of life, be they beautiful or terrible. If you are terrified of gay love, or identify yourself with some of the villains' views, then maybe it is time to start asking yourself questions about who you are and what are your true values. A text that does not push the envelope further, that does not provoke thinking, and reassessment of values, is, in itself, worthless. I hope I have succeeded in this endeavor. Hate it; love it, but talk about it. If this Play induces a furor, a potent, powerful debate, on the nature of love, I hope this debate will lead to a reassessment of the whole set of concepts that determine personal relationships. I was told, at some point, that this debate would make the text age faster. If only it were true! This would mean that the gays, the women, the blacks, all those who are different from those that label themselves 'us' would stop suffering from discrimination and abuse. Somehow, deep in myself, I feel that this will not be the case for the next million years.

What's in names?

Even names have meanings in plays. Dick and Peter got their name from slang words meaning penis. Angela got hers because, until then, she had been sweet as an angel; her husband, Godgiven Forsythe, has a first name that is rather frequent in people of black ascent. Doctor Spearman is a play on the word penis (a spear), while his counterpart, Doctor Walters, has a much more neutral name. Elisabeth got her name because of Queen Elizabeth I, whose strong character cannot be denied. Father Nicolas posed some difficulty because I did not want to use classical evil names. I choose, rather, to use Nicolas because it evokes St-Nicolas, better known as Santa Claus²⁰. It's like using antonyms to portray what you want to mean. A friendly figure may well hide a devil. Andrei's name source, I prefer keeping to myself.

Even the title of the play is a play on time: The entire play is suffused with the notion of time. It is dawn of day, of love, of play or dusk of day, of love, of play. Major events occur either at dawn, or at dusk.

 

Notes

1. It's night, and birds are relatively silent during the night. They will begin their noises at dawn.
2. This description just about fits the general practitioner's office profile. Having spent at least an hour or so every month in one of these places for the last 6 years, I'm having no problem seeing it as it is in my mind.
3. Historical note: this happened to me, although I was with my mom; the doctor actually hugged me tight in his arms and started crying... I've never ever felt so shocked, but also so secure in my whole life. This was exactly what I needed that day. I so wish he was still around, but he is helping the Innu who are dying in throve of HIV in the Canadian North.
4. Based on Elizabeth Kubler-Ross' Dying of AIDS and On Death and Dying. According to her studies, people go through five stages, not necessarily in the same order: Denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance. My own experience with the dying and their family show that not all stages are present.
5. Peter has a premonition he will die first.
6. Hoover: The vacuum cleaner whose suction powers were the sales pitch of the product.
7. The doctor has a hidden birthmark or a scar big enough to have impressed a 10-year-old girl as she was sexually molested. And the birthmark is on the Doctor's penis, so it's just about impossible to remove, unless he cuts his penis off.
8. This kind of shit happened to me while I was fighting for my life from a severe case of PCP (Pneumocistis Carinii Pneumonia) one of the most common opportunistic diseases of AIDS.
9. Refers to the Tree of Knowledge, where, according to the Judeo-Christian Bible, Eve stole an apple, the Forbidden Fruit, against God's wishes, and therefore had humanity banned from Eden. Why blame Eve for having difficulties resisting a superior being, when Adam couldn't resist Eve, unless God thinks Eve should have been better at resisting then Adam? Anyway, God made Eve off Adam. Was this an effort to improve on the original model?
10. Fruit: a reference to an abusive name given to gays.
11. This poem is dedicated to Ted Elliott, who died on the 16th day of November, of complications due to AIDS. My, friend, I will never forget you. Copyright © 1999 Christian Martin
12. This poem is dedicated to Vern Josephson, who died on March 24, 2000. Rest my friend for your sufferings are over. © 2000 Christian Martin
13. Poem dedicated to my best friend Marc and his lost love, Rick. © 2000 Christian Martin
14. In Memory of Sam, founder of HIVThrivers, a friend, who died of AIDS on October 9, 2000.My friend, may you rest in the arms of God. © 2000, Christian Martin
15. Infibulation: medical tern designing surgical removal of the clitoris, and the vulvae, commonly practiced in Africa.
16. Chastization: medical term designing the surgical removal of the penis. This practice is very rare, but occurs in some highly homophobic societies. It generally entails the very painful death of the person. Talk about 'punishment', the very subdued definition found in college dictionaries!
17. Subincision: It is the slicing of the underside of the penis' urethra, in order to effectively sterilizing a male by preventing him from ever penetrating a female.
18. Scarification: It is the act of cutting the skin in order to create scars, generally in a significant pattern designing tribal or religious belonging.
19. The repression of drug use is a very recent occurrence. Many religions used drugs to induce Events, and mainstream religions did not escape this either. Hashish and hallucinogenic mushrooms were in use as boosters for thousands of years in the Fertile Crescent, where most modern religions took root. They were used extensively in Greece, Rome, China and India also, to mention a few; and what is there to say about Mayan religious practices, which included cocaine and other potent drugs. Any knowledgeable psychiatrist or psychologist will attest to the paranoid effects of prolonged and repeated usage of drugs such as heroin, cocaine and Hashish. This raises some very potent questions as to the foundations of some entrenched religious beliefs. Clearly stated, the question is: Are some aspects of current religious faiths the result of spiritual experiences lived under the influence of hallucinogens by mentally ill drug addicts or by normal people having a bad trip?
20. Santa Claus: Ever noticed the anagram with Santa?

 

Christian Martin

©2003. Christian Martin