The twins, Fred and George Weasley, were pissed that Harry had humiliated their little brother Ronald Bilius Weasley and decided to get even. Their first attempts were mediocre at best, as they thought dealing with a first year would be easy.
"So, this prank is to have him search everything in his trunk all over the Castle?" asked George.
"Yes. I wonder, too, what he has in that trunk of his."
"Certainly not clothes, since he is always showing off his assets!"
"True, and all the more reason to do what we envision."
The two miscreants went down to the first-year male dorm, entered, and looked for Harry's trunk. It was easily found and, with the help of a few pins later, opened to the rack of compartments.
"What? He has a multiple-compartment trunk, the little worm?"
The two worked hard to open the first compartment, succeeding after 15 minutes. They found a wardrobe.
"I thought he had no clothes?" Fred said.
"Whatever, let us take everything and spreading it all over the castle."
Barely had George touched a silk scarf that he found himself nude, and became red from head to foot.
"Where did my clothes go?"
"We will find them later!" said a rushed Fred, as he moved to touch another piece of cloth.
"Fred! Do not!"
Too late, Fred found himself in a similar state of divestment as his twin.
"That, Fred, is an understatement. And we have a big problem!"
"Where are our wands?"
"Yes, oh crap!"
"Let us take everything out and throw it out of the window. There is no one in the dorm! Then we make a run for ours!" said Fred, as he picked up an armload of clothes. "We have nothing to lose, given our state!"
George admitted the logic and also picked up an armload.
"There is the big window. Throw everything out!" Fred said.
The two boys did as they said, and returned to the trunk.
"I thought there were less?" asked Fred, as he looked at the always full compartment.
"Yes, I vaguely remember throwing a kilt that matched that pattern out the window."
"I will take another armload, and you wait here. I have a suspicion."
Fred did as he said and heard his twin swear like a sailor deprived of shore leave.
"The moment you dropped the clothes out, they reappeared here!"
"So, throwing out clothes is useless?"
"Yes. And I think that losing them will also be useless."
"Okay. Back to our room and the drawing board."
The two pranksters left the first year dorm room, and moved to their own, third year dorm, trying to be as discreet as could be, with hundreds of boys moving around the tower. Once in their dorm they opened their trunk... to notice every piece of cloth gone!
"What the hell?"
"George, we got pranked, successfully I might add, by a first year! Oh the shame!"
"Fred, the prank is far worse than that: how are we going to be able to go to classes or, worse still, to dinner tonight? And how are we going to be able to defend ourselves? Do you see our wands anywhere?"
The two would-be avengers sat on their bed, rather disgruntled. After grumbling for half an hour, Fred had a genial idea.
"We use the bed sheets as togas!" he said, as he took the bedcover and tore a hole for his head in the middle for his head, closely followed by George.
Things seemed to work as they thought so they decided to go out to dinner in the Great Hall. They did not notice the wide eyes of the other students and walked pompously into the Great Hall. Minerva saw them walking in and headed to them, thunderbolts flashing around her head.
"And what are you doing, you two walking disasters?"
"We are coming to have dinner!" they said in tandem.
"And where are your robes?"
"Someone stole them and we used our bed sheets..."
"What bed-sheets? You two are nude, with telephone poles sticking out up front!"
"What do you mean?" said the two menaces, as they looked at themselves and saw their bed covers... suddenly dissolve into nothingness!
"That you are nude as Jay birds!"
"Potter! We will get to you one of these days!" the twin hollered, as the entire student body laughed at the pranked pranksters!
"You wish!" Harry uttered. "Next time, keep your noses out of my affairs!"
A week later, the twins placed a portable swamp on the second floor of the tower, right in front of the door to the first year dorm and they waited. As expected, the first out was Harry. Harry looked at the swamp, that covered the floor from one end of the hallway to the next, full width. To the twins' surprise, Harry took one look and created a pair of ice skates. He then began doing a beautiful dance on the frozen surface. His friends also left the dorm wearing skates and doing all sorts of arabesques. Totally baffled, the two pranksters left the security of the upper stairs and began walking toward Harry.
"You!" began Fred, but suddenly the ice supporting him and his brother in mischief returned to its original state and they sank right through the swamp to find themselves falling on the floor of the common room. Barely a second later, the entire swamp came cascading down on them, icy water and frozen plants all.
From above, they heard "Learn to swim if you want to play with water!" from Draco Malfoy.
"You know, this means war!" chorussed the twins.
"And it was not before?" said Neville. "Now, we go on the offensive!"
The last comment sent shivers down the twins' spine.
"What have we done?"
"Tickled the sleeping Dragon," said Harry, as he calmly walked on the flooded common room floor, not even creating ripples while the twins were swamped to their thighs. Harry's friends followed their leader out, jumping down to the ground floor rather than bother using the now slippery moving stairs.
The twins decided to go plan their next prank near the Black Lake. As they walked on the slope, it became very, very, slippery. Suddenly a sled appeared under each of them and they gained speed, reaching the lake's shores at tremendous velocity. Their sled skipped on the water's surface like a flat stone and suddenly sank under them. The water was still icy even if it was early spring and they had to swim back to shore.
"Look at the tiny weenies!" hollered the resident poltergeist, bringing the attention to said male assets. And it was true: their equipment had shrunk to toothpicks and baby size, trying to protect from the cold. The two pranksters made a run for the drafty castle, leaving behind a trail of water and their dignity. They made their way to the second floor, only for the stairs to suddenly change into ice-covered slides!
"Enough!" hollered George. "Give us a chance to get hot before we become icicles!"
"Popsicles, you mean: live stone-hard frozen, die sucked?" commented the new Devil of Hogwarts, one Harry James Potter. The bluish tingle harbored by the twins skin turned into a nice deep Weasley red as the 13-year old twins realized the meaning of the comment. "See, you did not need time! You are boiling!"
The prank war started in earnest. The twins tried to do a paint job on Harry and his friends, but found quickly that the paint did not even touch them, but hit the twins with a vengeance and whomever decided to support them, mostly, strangely, old members of what once was known as Slytherin House. Having been painted in every color of the rainbow except their old house's, the twins decided to try something else. Potions!
They asked the help of the school's elves, but were rebuked severely.
"Us help you prank the Majesty of High Elves? We do not want to lose our magic. Play your little Boys' games at your peril, not at ours!" said Squeaky, the Castle head house-elf.
The twins decided to lace the pumpkin juice with hair growth potion, and a special potion that would give the hair a gold and black color, much like a panther's fur. The next morning, they watched patiently as every student had a good sip of the potion-laced pumpkin juice. After half an hour, nothing happened.
"The little devil detected the potion, I am sure of it!" said George as he turned to look at his brother. "What the hell? Fred! You are covered in panther fur!"
"What?" Fred looked at himself, then at his brother. "You are the one to talk! You are fur-covered as well!"
The little Devil walked by and told them, loudly enough to cover the laughter of his friends: "I smelled the potion in your hands' sweat, morons. Next time, shower after making one!" He was not going to tell them he had been informed by the portraits in their dorm about the shenanigans of the twins!
The next week, the twins found their beds, wardrobes, and trunks mysteriously ‘glued' to the 20-foot ceiling of the dorm, with a pool of icy water right under their bed, waiting for them on the floor. They could even see the ice floes leisurely cruise around the edges of the big container!
"Fred! Do not move a finger! It is probably triggered by motion!"
Too late, Fred had a coughing episode and fell into the icy water, bed clothes, bed sheets, and sneeze included. The splash hit George and he shivered, instantly joining his twin in the arctic water.
As they climbed out of the water, Jordan commented:
"It must have been damn cold, you two! You are turning blue!"
Truthfully, they were turning smurf – blue from head to toe! As they smelled themselves, they realized they had been colored by food coloring, blue-berry flavored it seemed. No amount of magic they could do removed the coloring. Furthermore, any piece of cloth they put on instantly became transparent and showed their new colors!
"That must be what it means to have blue balls!" Terry Boot noted, creating a wave of hilarity that spread from one dorm to the next.
The twin boys, baffled, asked for some help with the issue from Minerva, which could do nothing, Even transforming them into little piglets did not help, except in producing blue piglets!
After a week, the color vanished, but the twins were not done suffering. As they moved into the Great Hall, their robes became tiny (six inches) white tutus, with no underwear on! Then music began to play and they were forced into the choreography of the Nutcracker ballet, on roller skates, of all things. They kept scratching their family jewels between throws and arabesques because the tutus were made of fiberglass and itched like a bitch. To complete the show, Ronald, which had managed to convince his dad to return him to Hogwarts, found himself incorporated in the choreography, thrown by his brothers in ever-daring moves, as his very shrunken blood-red bits were on display under his pink tutu! His reddish complexion completed the impression of total nudity. Followed a series of pranks that hit the Weasley twins in quick succession: they entered the Great hall and began walking like ducks, covered in yellow feathers and quacking like Donald Duck; they started having to drop their pants to lay eggs at random times during the day; they sprouted duck bills and could no longer say spells. Then it was roller-skates replacing their shoes at random moments, sending them flying in all directions and keeping them more often than not on their ass. Their hair grew to the point they had to tie it with ropes. Not that it helped as the ropes broke and the hair sprung out in every direction like they had been on high voltage, in a good imitation of an Afro hair cut! The twins also found themselves on a diving springboard, twenty-feet above the Black Lake surface, with tiny racing swim trunks, speedos, and a huge-looking frontal package. As they were thrown off the board by magic, the speedos released tissues and their attributes all but disappeared.
Minerva was furious, so she made her way to the first-year's table and looked murderously at Harry.
"What gives you the right to humiliate such a prominent light-sided family, Mister Potter?"
"The same right that they take in plotting to humiliate me, Madam. That each time they try something, it backfires at them; that these events should give them food for thought! As for ‘light', may I remind you, Madam, that Dumbledore was the light-house of your port but in fact was a dark wizard that did not hesitate to throw me to the wolves as an infant, so shove your ‘lighter than thou' attitude where light never shone! That prank war was started by them, not me. But I intend to finish it, on my terms, got it? They either say sorry and mean it, or they will be sorry for a very, very long time."
"Their mother is a banshee when it comes to protecting her brood, Mister Potter..."
"She should have been a banshee in educating them, especially Ron, that seems to have taken his eating lessons with the pigs in their manger. And I thought I lacked education because nature saw to mine!"
Harry's rebuff of Minerva right in front of the student body spread like fire in a fuel depot. It reached the Queen even before it reached the Weasley Matriarch, and the Queen moved to try and reduce the imminent conflagration, along with Frank and Sirius. Their arrival was a bit short, barely preceding Molly's arrival at Hogwarts' gates by minutes. It left the two wizards and the Queen too few minutes to get to Harry and prevent the explosion.
They had barely taken a seat at Minerva's office when Molly walked in, thunderous, and, without even a hello, slapped Harry in the face so hard he fell and hit his head on Minerva's desk, beginning to bleed. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. He looked at her, and his eyed began shining Avada Kavadra green. As Arthur tried to restrain his wife, Harry stood dizzily.
"Molly Weasley!" he thundered in a voice much deeper than his age bellied as the castle shook on its base, "For physical assault without provocation, lack of proper education, and unwillingness to listen to both sides of the story, I hereby remove your Magic! So mote it be! So mote it be! SO MOTE IT BE!"
The consequences were progressive: As her core collapsed, magic leaked from every pore as she cried in excruciating pain.
"Banshee she was, banshee she is, but banshee she will no longer be!" said Harry in a voice so cold the humidity in the room turned into a snow storm. No one could even utter a sound of protest as Harry looked at them with his glowing eyes, defying any to intervene.
Finally, Molly fell silent, before collapsing on the floor, looking, for all intents and purposes, like an old hag on the verge of retirement.
"Magic no longer supports her life. She has barely a few hours to live, if that. She will not be allowed to return to this plane for ever more. She is a mundane, not even a squib."
Harry then left Minerva's office, not even looking at his Godfather, Frank, the Queen, Minerva, or Arthur.
"What can we do?" asked Arthur, in shock.
"Nothing!" Queen Elizabeth said as she looked at the future cadaver with disgust. "He was in his right to pass judgment as he is the King of Magic. And, had he not, I would have had her beheaded. She physically assaulted a peer of the Realm, a peer upon which rests the legitimacy of my own Crown. Her actions endanger the very existence of Magic in this plane, and Our own legitimacy!"
"So, Arthur, you swallow your pride and start educating your brood before they join their mother!" said Sirius in a poor imitation of Harry's cold tone of minutes before. "Ron, the twins, and Percy interact daily with Lord Potter. See to it they learn proper etiquette. He has shown more patience than I thought possible, but it seems your wife broke the rope. Their life is now at risk!"
"I agree with Sirius, Arthur," said Frank. "We are under Camelot rules, and that has consequences, serious consequences. Like it or not, Arthur, decorum, and proper etiquette, can save lives."
"We do have a ‘Camelot Etiquette' class held every Monday evening at Buckingham Palace. We do not remember seeing you there. And even We go there to be refreshed. We did not make it mandatory, but We are now considering, given your Wife's behavior today!" said the reigning Monarch in a soft tone that could send quills through stone hearts. "Now, let us go back, gentlemen. This incident has perturbed my overloaded timetable, all for naught, it seems..." as she looked at the dead body on the floor, rapidly turning to dust. "It seems His Majesty Lord Potter gave her more time than Magic did as He over-estimated the time she had left to live. We have never seen a body disappear so fast!" Queen Elizabeth then walked out of Minerva's office regally, followed by Lord Black and Longbottom.
"Can I take my boys out of school, Minerva? They need intensive lessons in manners if they are to survive to the end of the year."
"Yes, Arthur. And bring them to that etiquette class post-haste."