Survivors

 

 

 

The "Moonduster" was still; only the HVAC, the boys’ breathing, and the almost imperceptible buzz of the instruments could be heard. Thirteen boys sat in their seats looking out into space wondering what had just happened and hoping any minute to see the "Starkeeper" appear.

 

Alex sat in the cockpit and looked at Robert Charles. "What the fuck did you do that for?"

 

"We were going to be killed. You saw Douglas shutting the doors. There was an explosion or something on the ship and in the corridor. I did what I had to. I saved our lives."

 

"Bullshit, RC, you panicked and you know it."

 

Robert Charles looked down at himself. For a minute he was afraid he had wet his pants, but he saw they were dry and he breathed easy again. He sure felt like wetting them, and if anybody saw he had he would be totally finished.

 

"I just saved your fucking life and you're saying I panicked?. Fuck you, Alex. You're nothing but a big mouthed...."

 

Alex lunged at Robert Charles and knocked him up against the wall. Since the shuttle had lower than 1.0 gravity Robert Charles hit the wall hard, bumping some of the switches. All the lights except the emergency ones went out and the life support fans went out. Alex had Robert Charles pinned against the side control panel. Mike entered the cockpit and grabbed Alex, pulling him off Robert Charles.

 

"Stop it! Not in here! You're gonna wreck this thing!" Mike shouted.

 

Alex and Robert Charles glared at each other. Mike had his arms wrapped around Alex. Alex tried to pull free and get back at Robert Charles, who was still stunned a little from hitting the wall.

 

"Alex! Robert Charles! It's going to have to wait." Alex and Robert Charles fought to get their breath back. Finally Alex told Mike he was okay.

 

"I'm going to reset the switches, if you would kindly move out of the way."

 

Alex looked at the panel. Nothing was broken. Mike was right. This wasn't the place for a fight. They were lucky they didn’t damage anything. Alex chewed himself out mentally for totally losing his cool. But he knew the place and time for a fight would open up, and when it did he would be ready. He reset the switches and the lights and fans came back on. He breathed a sigh of relief; without life support running they would be dead in a few hours.

 

"We all need to meet," Mike said. "Let's go into the main cabin."

 

The three of them came out of the cockpit. They saw worried looks on the faces in front of them.  Mike went to his seat. Alex stayed in front along with Robert Charles.  Robert Charles took over.

 

"It looks like we're in trouble. But we're not. We'll just stay here and the 'Starkeeper' will come back to find us."

 

"How can it if it was destroyed like you said?" Alex asked. "I mean with you saving our lives and all it must have blown up, right?"

 

"I never said that. All I know is something blew up and whatever was coming down the corridor could have blown us up."

 

"Douglas shut the airlock. Nothing could come in."

 

"Look, let's not argue this, Alex. We stay here. We have a locator, and the 'Starkeeper' will come back to look for us."

 

"Who put you in charge?" Alex asked.

 

"Last I looked, I was still the elected leader."

 

"Only until we had a new vote."

 

"But we never did have one, did we?"

 

"Then maybe it's time to have one," Mike said.

 

"Between who?"

 

"Between you and Douglas, of course."

 

"No," Douglas said. "I don't want to. I'm not interested."

 

Scooter looked at him. "What? Why not? Douglas, what's wrong?"

 

"Nothing." Douglas got up out of his seat, bumped his head on the ceiling, and floated back down. They were all going to have to get used to the lower gravity on the shuttle. He walked towards the tail end and into the galley. He shut the door, went to a table and sat down.

 

His thoughts were a jumble. One thing he was certain of was that this was not a time to have a battle for leadership. They were stranded on a space shuttle and drifting in space. He didn’t see how Robert Charles could make things any worse. Having fights like Alex and RC had just engaged in would not help them at all. Right now Robert Charles projected leadership better than Douglas did—his voice had dropped to high tenor while Douglas was still waiting for his to break. Who wanted to be led by a soprano whose voice had no authority?

 

Douglas had never been in space before. His leadership had consisted of being class and student body president and captain of his basketball team last year in seventh grade. He wondered how that qualified him to lead in an emergency. He’d always been dependent on adults, and there certainly were no adults for him to depend on here on the “Moonduster”.  

 

He remembered the entire affair with the spa and how that defeat had driven him to tears. He was afraid that a showdown for leadership with Robert Charles would take him to that point and beyond—he was almost there already.

 

He heard the door open and saw Scooter enter the tiny galley.

 

"What's wrong my love?" Scooter asked.

 

Douglas was fighting off tears. "I can't do it, Scooter. You know it and I know it."

 

"I do? All I know is we can't think of anybody else I want to have lead us. You almost got Robert Charles kicked out of office. One more day and you would have. You made more things happen by not being our class leader than RC did being our leader. You've been a president, and a team captain, and you were our real leader on the 'Starkeeper'. We all believe in you and we all will follow you.  And don’t forget that I love you."

 

"Scooter, I'm great when I have adults around. When I was school president, I could lead because I had the principal and the teachers behind me. And when I was a team captain, I had the coach behind me. And when things got rough on the ship, I had Marie. I've never done it alone.  I don't know how."

 

Scooter grabbed Douglas and hugged him tightly. He mentally sent his love to him. He showed Douglas how his love had made him as happy as he could ever be; how Douglas making love to him freed him from his greatest fear. Now it was his turn to free Douglas from what he was afraid of.

 

"None of the rest of us know how to survive without adults either, even if we keep saying we do. All I know is I don't want RC to be the leader."

 

"There's lots of guys who can do it, Scooter." Mike came into the galley. "All of them could do it."

 

"Do what?" Mike asked.

 

"Douglas thinks he's not good enough to lead us."

 

"Bullshit," Mike said. "There is no one better."

 

"Alex."

 

"Alex is my lover and my best friend. But his temper rules him too much, plus he doesn't have the experience you have."

 

"You could, Mike. You're the oldest. I mean you're almost sixteen and have played sports. You’ve been like my right-hand man at times."

 

"I've never lead anybody. I play hard and I follow orders hard, but I don't lead.  Douglas, we all respect and love you. We would follow you anywhere."

 

Douglas fought back tears. He told Mike what he told Scooter. "When RC got the spa and I didn't...well...you saw how I handled that. With a load of tears. Like now. Some fucking leader I am. Now, just leave me alone, okay?"

 

The two boys stood in the cramped galley feeling helpless. They knew Douglas was the leader they wanted. They’d seen what he could do on the “Starkeeper”.  But how do they convince him? They needed him because he was the best.

 

“Look, we’re stuck out here in space totally lost with nowhere to go. RC cannot fuck things up any more than they already are.”

 

“If anybody could make the situation worse, RC is the one to do it,” Mike chuckled.

 

"Just go!" Douglas said. Scooter didn’t move.  He closed his eyes and pushed his thoughts at his soulmate.  I love you, Douglas. You can do it Douglas. We all love you. We all know you can do it. Look inside yourself. You're strong, and I am sending all of my strength to you to make you stronger. There is nothing for you to be afraid of. Douglas didn't look up. He dropped his head and let the tears flow. Scooter and Mike went back into the cabin. Douglas sat there, his head down. He already missed his mom and dad. He was so afraid he would never see them again. His father always had his back when things got rough. With his dad gone he didn't know what to do.

 

 

While the meeting was going on in the galley, Alex and Robert Charles returned to the cockpit. They weren't agreeing on much of anything.

 

"Let's get one thing straight, RC, this is my cockpit."

 

"Bullshit. And quit calling me RC, Al. I'm older, I'm bigger, and I'm still the elected leader."

 

"That doesn't make you a pilot."

 

"And, I have twice the flying hours you have."

 

"This time I call bullshit. I saw your simulator scores. You lied about your hours. Your scores were good for somebody playing something like a game, but not for somebody with flying experience. In fact, the scores are still here in the cockpit if you want to see them. I think I kicked your ass there, RC."

 

"I said, quit calling me RC, or I'll kick your ass, and I don't mean on a computer. I'm fucking tired of your attitude, Alex. You are nothing but a mouth."

 

Alex looked up at Robert Charles, who was 6 inches taller. "This is my cockpit. I'm the pilot.  You want us to survive, you turn it over to me. Because I'm better than you, and you know it"

 

"I'll tell you what, shrimp. You run the cockpit, and I'll take care of the rest. You drive, I'll lead."

 

"You know we want Douglas to lead us."

 

"I don't see why. He's back somewhere crying his eyes out like a wuss. Put the pressure on him and he folds like an accordion."

 

"Douglas knows how to handle people. When Douglas asks you to do something, he makes you feel like you're important for doing it. You ask and you make people feel like shit and then you have to threaten to get your way. He leads, you bully."

 

"I get things done. He doesn't. And right now, to survive, we don't need some pretty boy school president looking for a way to have a candy sale. We need a real leader with some meanness and toughness. Somebody who was born and trained to do this. And that somebody is me. And if I have to bully people so we can survive, then that’s how it will be."

 

"Well, you're mean all right." Alex stood toe to toe with Robert Charles. Somehow to Robert Charles, even though Alex was six inches shorter, he seemed to be of equal height. "Look, RC! I know how you and Jordan bullied little Matthew.  And what's more, I know what you did to my little brother so he could get what we wanted. Right now we gotta survive. And whether we like it or not, you seem to be the only one willing to make decisions. But I want you to know, I have a very long memory, and the first chance I get I'm gonna knock you off your perch, and then I'm going to kick your ass."

 

"Whatever!"

 

"RC, you really don't get it, so let me put it this way. If you touch anybody on this ship against their will, or make them do anything like what you did to Matthew and Stevie, I'll have you go out and change the oil, without a space suit on."

 

"What if they want to do it?" Robert Charles said.

 

"Okay, let me put it so even a moron like you will understand. You touch either Matthew or Stevie, I will kick your ass out of the air lock....naked." Robert Charles swore Alex was standing eyeball to eyeball with him. "Is that clear enough?"

 

Robert Charles had no doubt Alex meant every word. "Very clear," he said. But, he thought, I have a very long memory too. And when we don't need a pilot any more, your ass is mine.

 

 

Back in the cabin, Scooter was talking to Mike. "I don't understand what's happened to Douglas.  I can't believe he's turning his back on us," Scooter said.

 

"He isn't," Mike said. "He needs to get things sorted out, like we all do. He was the closest to his parents of all of us I think, and my guess is he misses them and is scared. I miss Brad. You miss your dad..." He heard some sniffling. "Everybody misses somebody."

 

"But he turned me away." Scooter was near tears.

 

"No, he didn't. He needs you, Scooter. Go back to him now so it’s just the two of you.

 

But before he could get up, the cockpit door opened and Alex and Robert Charles stepped out. "We want you to know that we decided some things," Robert Charles said. "Alex is going to be our pilot, if we ever decide to leave this spot, which we won't. I know we won’t, because I am going to make the decisions.  And my decision is that the safest place for us is right here until the 'Starkeeper' comes back for us."

 

"How do they get off doing that?" Mike whispered to Scooter.

 

"Somebody has to decide something, and I guess it won't be Douglas," Scooter replied.

 

"Now, I know everybody is scared and lonely. But we'll get out of this. The first thing we have to do is eat. The food is downstairs in the storage area. Let's bring up enough for today and tomorrow. Travis, you and Mike can take care of that. You're both bigger guys." Robert Charles started issuing directions that actually made sense, and the boys headed for the ladder that went down to the storage deck.

 

A voice came from the back of the cabin. "Shouldn't we be rationing?” The voice belonged to Douglas.

 

"No. Full helpings. We have plenty of food. There is food and water for three months for 60 people.  There are only thirteen of us. You do the math. Eat and drink what you want. If we don't get found here, it won't matter much anyway."

 

Matthew heard that and his sniffling turned into totally bawling. Mike got up and glared at Robert Charles. "A fine attitude, oh great leader." Of course Robert Charles was saying what everybody had been silently thinking. They all knew their problems would end if the “Starkeeper” appeared, but they all had the sinking feeling that it was never going to appear. He went back to Matthew’s seat and hugged the young boy, letting his little brother know everything was okay.

 

Then Mike headed to the hatch to the lower deck to join Travis in getting food up to the galley. Scooter went back to the galley to see Douglas.

 

"You were awesome, my sweetness. Welcome back."

 

"I'm not back, Scooter. Robert Charles is the leader. Officially we elected him. He's an asshole, but he does know how to run things, and he showed that. But nobody can think of everything, especially the way things are right now."

 

"You know how to run things, too."

 

"I needed to let him know we gotta ration food. And Scooter, we can't just hang here. We have to move. If we're not found we need a place to go. Our locator will bring any rescuers, but we can't just sit here. We’re a year away from AO IV using standard warp drive. We'll die for sure just sitting here waiting to get rescued."

 

"Where do we go?"

 

"How do I know? You're the astronomer."

 

"I just like studying it, but I don't really know it. Not like Brandon does."

 

"Well, you once told me that the stars talked to you. You and Brandon need to start looking at those stars and see if any of them tell you anything. If nothing else it will keep you busy. Each of you get some helpers and get them busy, too."

 

Scooter kissed Douglas on the lips. "You are back. You're our leader. You're my hero."

 

"Scooter, I'm not going to lead. I don't want to. I'm not good enough.  And what we don't need is RC working against us. Right now, except for the fight with Alex, he’s actually doing a decent job. The fact that he and Alex made up says a lot.

 

“As long as he thinks he's running the show we avoid a lot of trouble.  Alex has the right idea—make him believe we think his shit doesn't stink, and he'll stand there telling people to go bring the food up when he is the biggest guy here except for Mike and could help do it himself. Scooter, we can't afford fights right now."

 

Scooter hugged Douglas tighter.

 

"Oh, and Scooter...thanks for sending me your love back there. I needed it. And it helped me tons. I love you." He kissed Scooter's lips. "Now, let's go help Travis and Mike.  After we eat, we'll get Brandon and talk about star gazing."

 

Scooter felt the warm glow from his soulmate. He knew he would follow Douglas anywhere and so would almost anybody else on the shuttle. Now they just had to make Douglas believe that.

 

 

Mike fancied himself to be a decent cook, so he volunteered to take care of preparing the food.

 

“This is a very difficult process that requires well-honed culinary skills,” he told the group of boys.

 

“Do you know what he just said?” Jeremy asked Warren.

 

“I think he said that any moron can put packaged food into a microwave.”

 

Mike carefully laid out the packaged meals into the microwaves. In spite of what Robert Charles had said, he was going to nuke only one meal per person. The food packages could be microwaved or cooked in water; they were made for survival.

 

"So you're having just one, too?" Alex asked with a smile.

 

"Hard to believe, isn't it?"

 

"Very." Mike had been noted for having thirds in the dining hall. Having seconds was no big deal since almost everybody had seconds.  

 

Robert Charles walked in. "Did you put two in for me? I'm hungry."

 

"You get just one like everybody else, RC. You're nobody special."

 

"Last time I looked, I was the leader here. And I said everybody could eat as much as they wanted.  And don't call me RC, Mikey." Mike didn't mind being called Mikey by RC, only because he loved making him mad by calling him RC. Besides, he wasn't going to let Robert Charles have the pleasure of making him mad.

 

"Well, RC (Robert Charles glared at him), just like Alex is in charge of the cockpit, I'm in charge of the kitchen. If you don't like it, you can do the cooking."

 

Robert Charles grunted and walked out of the galley. Mike and Alex smiled at each other.

 

When dinner was ready everybody sat around the two tables and the counter in the galley. With a full sixty people they would have to eat in shifts, but with just thirteen of them there was room for everybody, even if the seating was close. For all their problems, everybody was hungry, and more than one boy wished they could have a second helping.

“After all Robert Charles had said it was okay,” Jeremy reminded Mike. He, Travis, and Jordan were particularly peeved at Mike for cooking only one meal per person.

 

After dinner, Douglas and Scooter went around the cabin and checked on how everybody was doing. Warren and Matthew had done a lot of crying earlier and were somewhat morose. Matthew missed his mother and father, even if they never seemed to pay any attention to him. Warren was close to his father, and was missing him terribly. Both boys were worried that their parents were dead.

 

 Jeremy and Ryan didn't have parents on board the “Starkeeper”. Ryan would just as soon not see his parents anyway, but Jeremy wanted to see his badly. Brandon was missing his mother. Alex and Stevie weren't sure how they felt since their lives had been changing so much anyway. Mike was close to his brother Brad and was worried about him. Travis missed his parents and was sure they were dead; he was as sad as anybody.

 

Jordan worshipped his father and was afraid the Engineering deck had been demolished in the explosion, killing his father. He wanted a drink badly, and there was nothing on the "Moonduster" except the bottle of vodka he had in his backpack for sneak drinks in class. He decided to save it until he got desperate. 

 

Scooter missed his father terribly and was very worried about him. He was sure it was the warp enhancer that caused whatever had happened to the "Starkeeper". He knew if the Captain and the Chief Engineer had allowed his father to operate it properly nothing would have happened.

 

Robert Charles wanted everybody to think he was tough and strong and didn't need his dad, but that was not the case at all. Douglas missed his parents as well. He was having a hard time dealing with not knowing their fate, or his, too, for that matter.

 

The seats reclined and had foot rests. They were reasonably comfortable, but nobody could imagine spending days sleeping in them. Travis mentioned that there were survival sleeping bags on the lower deck and room to sleep on the floor down there.  That sounded better than sleeping in the seats. The boys climbed down the ladder one at a time. Even for the short boys the low ceiling made it a tight fit in places. Scooter wondered how hard it must be for an adult to maneuver around down there, especially with having to deal with the lower gravity at the same time. The boys rolled the sleeping bags out on the floor. Nobody was surprised when most of them were shared by a partner. The first day on the "Moonduster" was ending.

 

 

The second day raced by without much happening. Most of the boys spent their time sulking, and some of them cried. They missed their parents and the "Starkeeper". They wondered how long it would be before they were found, or if they ever would be found. They wanted to see the ship that had been their home make a miraculous appearance.

 

Scooter and Brandon were prone on the lower deck. There were two telescopes in the bow area on each side. They were swiveled, allowing the person using the telescope to be able to look 45 degrees to the stern and swivel the telescope so his vision covered an arc from there to looking straight ahead. The only area blocked from the view was the stern.

 

“Why didn’t somebody think about putting a telescope in the stern?” Brandon wondered.

 

“Maybe because the rockets and the warp drive are there,” Scooter speculated.

 

The boys weren't sure what they were looking for, but they searched the stars hoping to see something useful. Scooter picked Matthew as his helper. Matthew took notes on what Scooter saw. Brandon had picked his boyfriend Stevie to help them. They found nothing that could help them that first day. They even switched sides hoping one boy would see something the other one missed.  Both of them were feeling that this was a waste of time, but it was something to do.

 

“We need to see if Alex can turn the ‘Moonduster’ tomorrow to give us some different views,” Brandon said.

 

“I’ll talk to him—I’m sure he will,” Scooter told him.

 

That night Scooter and Douglas were sharing a sleeping bag on the floor on a narrow aisle between a row of boxes. There was barely room for the two of them.

 

"Douglas."

 

"Yes, my love?"

 

"I just want to tell you that you've been doing awesome. I saw you talking to everybody again and finding ways to keep people busy."

 

“It’s what teachers call busy work, but it seems to be helping. Luckily we found a few games in a box in an overhead bin.”

 

“Like I said, you’re doing awesome. You’re the one keeping everybody from going crazy. You’re the best.”

 

"I guess it helps. RC is the one making who is in charge and making the decisions. Anybody can tell people to go waste their time looking at the stars through telescopes and look to see what’s in unmarked boxes, which is all I’m doing. No pressure there."

 

"Douglas, remember during the warp storm when we went up to engineering? You keeping so calm and kept putting the code into my head when I was so scared? I mean we both knew that you sending me those numbers was impossible, but you did it anyhow."

 

"I was scared too, Scooter. It was all I could do not to pee my pants I was so scared."

 

"But you came through; you didn't cry or panic--you were calm and brave."

 

"That was different. I wasn't in charge, it was something that just happened—I didn’t have to think about it. I don't want to make the decisions, Scooter. I'm afraid I'll make the wrong one and kill us all."

 

"Douglas, you would only make the best decisions. And you would ask us for advice with the hard ones. That’s why we all love and respect you. Right now RC is getting his way because nobody cares what he decides because we aren't going anywhere. But we all hate him, and when things get tough we won't want to follow him. We all know he panicked when he launched us from the ‘Starkeeper’. I think panicking is way worse than crying once."

 

"Scooter, why do you want to follow somebody who isn't even sure of himself?"

 

"Douglas, we're all kids. None of us is sure of himself. It's just when it gets tough, you're the one we're going to be sure of."

 

Douglas lay on his back, his hands behind his head. Scooter was wrong, he thought. He didn't have what it took. He was a good leader because adults said he was, not because he really was.  Suddenly Scooter was on top of him, kissing him. They kissed and cuddled and touched, and somewhere along the line they were on top of the sleeping bag, Douglas's legs were raised up, and for the first time he had another person inside him, as his soulmate made sweet love to him. They wondered who if anybody knew what they were doing in their little space, and right at that moment they didn’t really care if they did. When they finished they slept close and tight in the narrow aisle, happy with their love for each other, and sad because of where they were.

 

 

Matthew woke up in the dark on the galley floor screaming out. He was squeezed between Alex and Mike. His brother and his brother's boyfriend. They had made him feel so good and loved last night. Even so, he had just had a nightmare. He was on the "Starkeeper" and it had exploded and thrown him out into the vacuum of space. Alex hugged him close and kissed the back of his neck.

 

"It's okay Matthew. We're here. We love you." Matthew felt Mike lightly rubbing his bare belly. If he were a cat he would have started purring.  He soon drifted back to sleep, happy that he had his big brother and his friend to love him on both sides of him.

 

 

When morning of the third day arrived, Mike was up early getting breakfast prepared. He loved being the cook, even if it only meant picking out what was going to be served and putting it in the microwaves. But it gave him something important to do. His little brother Matthew had become his assistant. They worked together to make the galley a fun place.

 

Everybody was getting bored and Robert Charles and Douglas could only figure out so much busy work.  Mike thought it was a good thing the two of them were actually working together, although he saw it as more the result of Douglas’s diplomatic skills than anything Robert Charles was doing.

 

Mike was still fuming over his run-in with Robert Charles a bit earlier when RC wanted to know who had screamed in the middle of the night waking him up. Mike told the group leader that Matthew had had a nightmare. Robert Charles wanted to chew Matthew out for being a cowardly little boy, but thought the better of it after Mike told him that if he said anything to Matthew he’d find his body parts strewn around the cargo deck. Mike understood that the only reason everybody didn’t rebel against RC was Douglas’s insistence that they were best off with the status quo. How much of that was Douglas being prudent and how much of it was Douglas being cowardly was something Mike wasn’t sure of.

 

After breakfast the boys had a meeting where a couple of things were decided. First, they decided they would all go naked. They had no fresh clothes and no way to wash them, so being naked would save their clothes from becoming too ripe when the time came that they would need them. Second, because there were only thirteen of them, they could afford to use some of their precious water to wash themselves. They could recycle used water twice through before it had to be flushed out into space. The toilets used chemicals which could be recycled. The recycled water would be their wash water. Each boy could wash himself every other day. The boys were happy with this, because not only were they beginning to smell strongly, but so was the cabin. Even Warren had to admit being naked was the only way to go.

 

After breakfast, Scooter and Brandon went down to look through the telescopes again. Before they went down, Scooter had Alex moved the ship so they could search a different area. Scooter gave Brandon a light peck on the lips. Stevie watched, knowing that the old friends would always love each other.  Brandon grinned at Stevie and kissed him.

 

“We are team, after all,” Brandon told him.

 

Matthew, who had been observing the astronomy team, smiled widely when Scooter reached over and kissed him. Matthew found a new way to help Scooter that day, giving him a gentle blow job as he searched the stars for something. Brandon got a similar servicing from Stevie. When they took a break from watching, Scooter and Brandon returned the favor.

 

When Mike was getting lunch into the microwave, he was pleased when Douglas gave him some pleasure, sucking him while he sat in a seat waiting for lunch to cook.  Man, Mike thought, cooking sure is a tough job.

 

Even Jordan got some pleasure, getting and giving a BJ to Robert Charles in the cockpit. They were doing it in a tight space, but it worked. The boys were finding that dealing with their sexual tensions helped to relieve many of the other stresses they were feeling.

 

By the next day, the boys were all pretty willing to leave their lovers to comfort somebody in the daytime. They were all naked, horny boys after all. But at night they slept with their lovers, with Alex and Mike having little Matthew squeeze in between them as they slept on top of their sleeping bags with a second bag draped over them for comfort.

 

Matthew was happy when on the fourth night he was invited to sleep with Scooter and Douglas so Mike and Alex could have some alone time. He liked sleeping with Douglas and Scooter who treated him with as much love and sweetness as Alex and Mike did. Stevie and Alex found time to make love as well.

 

On the seventh day Jordan couldn't stand it any more. He had to sneak a drink—he’d limit himself to just one swallow so nobody would know. He took his backpack down to the lower deck, got out his bottle and took a swallow. It felt so warm going down that he took another one. That was better, he thought. Just one more, to get a little buzz, then he would put the bottle away. He guzzled down a big swallow, the numbness of the alcohol hitting him. One more wouldn't hurt, and he'd still have plenty left. He could already feel it hit his head as the alcohol went through his little body fast. That felt so good he had to have one more guzzle before putting the bottle away. He put the bottle up to his lips and swallowed again.

 

Nobody knew what had happened until Travis and Ryan went down to bring up food. That was when they saw Jordan passed out, with a half-empty bottle of vodka next to him, lying in his own vomit. Ryan clambered up the ladder and quickly got help. Douglas and Mike came down and cleaned him up, dumped the rest of the bottle down the sink, and put him into a sleeping bag. Robert Charles came down, shook his head, and said he would watch Jordan.

 

“I wish you hadn't dumped the rest of the bottle out, because I sure could use it right now,” Robert Charles laughed.

 

Mike and Douglas were certain that he wasn’t joking.

 

 

It was the morning of their eighth day sitting in space. They were beginning to realize that nobody was going to come back to find them. If they had, their locator beacon would've led them right to them. But they also knew that space was big, that the "Starkeeper" could have come back but had been too far away to receive the signal. Or it could be the "Starkeeper" was destroyed, in which case nobody would ever find them.

 

While the crying had stopped for a few days, each boy had his moment of feeling depressed. Douglas knew that as the situation became increasingly hopeless it would become harder for them to hold themselves together. Jordan’s getting drunk was an indication of that, as was a near total breakdown by Warren just before lunch on the eighth day.   

 

"We can't stay here forever," Mike said as he, Alex, Douglas, and Robert Charles met in the cargo bay. "Even if we move they can still follow the beacon and find us once they find the signal. I think moving the ship will at least have everybody thinking we’re trying something. Standing still like this is driving everybody up the wall.”

 

"Where are we going to go?" Robert Charles asked. "Our so-called astronomers haven't found shit and they won't find shit. You want to pick a direction? Get one at random? Face it, we have no place to go. We are all going to die on this fucking ship."

 

"Don't get too optimistic, RC," Alex said. "Why don't you go up the ladder to the cabin and tell little Matthew he is dead. Look at your friend Jordan. He's twelve. Tell him there is nothing you can do but sit here. Some leader you are. You lead by sitting on your fat ass."

 

Robert Charles got up off of the floor, ready to slug Alex. Alex glared at him and he wisely backed down. It still wasn't the time for a showdown.

 

Just then the intercom buzzed. It was Brandon. He had finished a search and was looking at his calculations. "Alex, can you turn the ship five degrees down, please?"

 

"Will do." Alex went up into the cockpit, punched some buttons, and listened to two of the small side thrusters start. He punched in a number and saw the stars move in the front view screen.  He looked at a couple of gauges and, after the ship turned its five degrees, he fired the other thrusters to stop the turn. The ship was once again at a dead stop. He shut both rockets down and went back into the cabin. Just that brief movement of the ship cheered some of the boys up—at least something was happening.

 

Scooter and Brandon looked at some new stars. They all looked so much alike and they still didn't know what they were looking for. Today, Douglas was helping Scooter and Ryan was helping Brandon. They’d take notes, make calculations, and then go to the cockpit and enter numbers into the computer. After an hour of searching, the boys were ready to give up and have the shuttle moved again. It was then that Brandon thought he saw something interesting. He looked again.

 

"Scooter, come look at this."

 

"What?"

 

"Just come here and look."

 

Scooter crawled across the cramped space. He looked through Brandon's telescope. "What am I looking for?"

 

"Do you remember seeing pictures of the sun, what it looked like from the edge of the solar system?"

 

"Yeah, sure, so....." Then Scooter saw it. A star a little larger than the others. Almost the same size and brightness as the pictures of the sun. And there was more. He saw a couple of bright objects to the side. Could they be planets?

 

"What is it?" Douglas asked.

 

"I'm not sure," Brandon said, "but I think we just found a place to fly to."

 

 

"No way, we stay right here!" Robert Charles said for the tenth time. "Nobody will ever find us if we travel too far."

 

"You still don't get it, do you?,” Alex grumbled. “The ‘Starkeeper’ can follow the locator. It’s not like we’re going to be traveling a few light years away, which would make a difference. That stupid star was right in front of our noses all the time."

 

"Yeah, but the radio isn’t that strong. Tell them, Jordan."

 

"Robert Charles is right that somebody trying to find us might lose the signal, but he isn’t right that they would never be able to find us," Jordan told them. Jordan was in his element. He was familiar with how ships’ systems worked. But Jordan was also feeling miserable. He wanted a drink so badly and was upset he’d had too much a couple of days ago which forced Mike to pour out all of his precious vodka. "Yes, the ‘Starkeeper’ can trail us if we leave this spot, but the signal isn’t all that strong and could be easy to lose, especially if we move close to a star.  I vote we stay here."

 

"We've been here over a week. I haven't seen anybody yet," Mike said.

 

"Look," Robert Charles said. "Let's say the so-called astronomers are right, and we don't know that they are. That could be a big star light years away instead of a small one close up.

 

“The computer says it’s close to us,” Scooter pointed out,” less than a light year away.”

 

Robert Charles ignored him. “But even if they are right, the odds are there is no Earth-sized planet orbiting it. And if even if there was, a planet with a livable atmosphere has never been found.  We've had to create the atmosphere on every planet we've ever settled. And we're dozens of light years away from any colony we've ever made. What do you think the odds are of us finding a place to land - if we could land - since Alex has never landed a shuttle?"

 

"Hmmmmmmm...about a billion to one I suppose," Douglas said.

 

"Well, for once we agree on something," Robert Charles said. Well, we agree you're a total wuss, he thought to himself. Even you know that about yourself, Douglas the fearful leader.

 

"And the odds of us finding a safe place by staying here are zero," Douglas added. "I like a billion to one better. It's time for us to move."

 

"Well, since this isn't a democracy, we stay."

 

"Oh, but you're wrong, Robert Charles. This is our lives you're talking about. And in case you haven't forgotten, you're not our boss. So don't pretend to be. Remember what Mr.  Benson said."

 

"He isn't here, Dougie. And you can remember that." Robert Charles had pretty much been quiet for a week. He and Douglas had been successfully working in tandem to keep the boys occupied.  But now his old self was showing again—he was ready to run the show.

 

Douglas sat quietly in his seat. Here he was using the name of an adult to back him up when there were no adults here to bail him out. He was more certain than ever that he wasn’t cut out to lead the “Starkeeper” boys through this ordeal.  He needed to remember that Robert Charles was the one with the power now, whether he liked it or not. What Douglas managed to deny in his mind was that Robert Charles wielded what power he had because Douglas had ceded it to him.

 

"I'm with Douglas," Alex said. "I call for a vote. I don't want to rot and die in this spot. If I'm gonna die, I want to die fighting."

 

"I'm with Alex," Mike said.

 

"I don't want to die sitting here," Warren put in, tears running down his cheek. That clinched it with everybody, since Warren usually never said anything in a group meeting.

 

All of the boys except Jordan started to chant, “Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote!”  Robert Charles was smart enough to know his hold on leadership was tenuous at best and it was time to back down.  The vote was oral and it was quick. Everybody voted to head for the star Brandon and Scooter had found—everybody but Jordan and Jeremy, that is.

 

An hour later, Alex and Robert Charles finished going through their pre-flight checklist. So far Alex had only fired the retrorockets, now he was going to fire the huge Centron Interplanetary rockets to move them fast enough to engage the warp drive.  Brandon and Scooter, with the help of Jordan, calculated that it would take three days using a combination of the rockets and the warp drive to reach the star’s potential solar system. Jordan may not have voted for moving the “Moonduster”, but he also understood that if they were going to move the shuttle to the solar system he knew enough to make the trip better for everybody, including himself.

 

Robert Charles and Alex finished their pre-flight check with everything being a go. Alex quietly thanked First Officer Benson for taking the time to teach them something he thought they would never have to use. Robert Charles started counting down. When he got to three, Alex flipped a switch. When he got to zero, Alex pushed the ignition button, and the big rockets fired, pushing everybody back into their seats.

 

As the shuttle accelerated he and Robert Charles commenced with a warp drive countdown.  When the shuttle reached the desired speed, Alex cut the rockets. In space their inertia would keep them going at the same speed. When they finished the pre-warp check, Alex told everybody they were heading into warp and he engaged the warp drive. From here they would follow the path Scooter and Brandon mapped out. In three days they would start to learn if they had any chance of surviving.

 

 

Douglas was napping in a reclining seat. Warren came and sat next to him and waited for him to wake up. When he did, Warren talked to him about the time they picked the cards in Alex’s room so they could mess around with a new partner. He asked Douglas if he wanted to do something with him. Warren still had his crush on Douglas.

 

"We could go downstairs, and, well...you know," Warren said.

 

"Warren, Scooter and I have a deal. I think it's the same as a lot of guys right now. We need to help each other in any way we can. But making love is for my lover only.  You want us to suck each other off, I'm cool with it, but that's as far as it goes."

 

That was all Warren needed to know. He and Douglas went down to the cargo deck. They wasted no time as Warren got between his legs, watching Douglas get hard as he licked his cock. He slowly slid Douglas's hardness into his mouth, and started sucking him.  Douglas leaned back, thinking of how Jeremy had helped this quiet little sad boy become so much happier and alive. Then he got lost in the sensations being produced by Warren's eager mouth. They didn't even notice Ryan, Brandon, or Stevie go by as they enjoyed each other. Douglas arched his back and shot his thin boyish cum into Warren's mouth..

 

Then they changed places, and Douglas gave Warren an expert blow job, teasing and licking and sucking him until he came wildly into Douglas's mouth.

 

Warren got up to leave, and smiled at the boy he had such a crush on. "If it wasn't for Scooter, I'd be your boyfriend." Then he blushed, realizing what he said was stupid.

 

"Warren. You can always be my friend and my brother," Douglas smiled.

 

Warren smiled back. "My brother. I love you, my brother. I'll follow you anywhere." He leaned over, kissed Douglas's cheek and then walked up the aisle.

 

Warren and Douglas weren't the only ones to take in somebody's love as they raced towards the star ahead of them. Travis and Mike. Alex and Scooter. Matthew and Stevie. Those were just a few pairings during the day. And at night each boy slept with his partner. Matthew shared bags with Alex and Mike the first night, Scooter and Douglas the second night, and Ryan and Travis the third. Robert Charles and Jordan asked Matthew if he wanted to sleep with them, but he refused, and Robert Charles avoided a trip through the airlock by not pushing it.

 

Two days into their journey they reached the time and place that Jordan, Scooter, and Brandon had calculated as the place to drop the “Moonduster” out of warp. They knew this was a weak point in their plan since none of them had the astronavigation skills to calculate a precise time or place to leave warp. They understood a fraction of the complex calculations in the flight manual. But, between Scooter and Brandon’s math skills and Jordan’s systems knowledge, they found themselves surprisingly close to their target.

 

Scooter and Brandon manned the telescopes and calculated that they were as far from the unknown star as the orbit of Saturn was from Sol.

 

“It’s going to take us an extra couple of days,” Brandon said. “But we wanted to be too far away rather than too close when we left warp.” Everybody knew that going in and out of warp close to a star could be fatally dangerous.

 

The star took up more and more of the view screen as they approached it. By the morning of the third day it was the size of their own sun.

 

They had one minor emergency on the fourth day which started to gain significance. An alarm had gone off on the third night.  Alex went sleepily to the cockpit to shut it off and check on the cause. The computer readout said there had been a meteor strike, but it apparently had not penetrated the hull since they weren't losing any air or pressure. Alex shut off the alarm and went back to his sleeping bag.

 

When they awoke that morning, the boys knew it was time to start searching for the planet they may have seen through the telescopes. As Scooter and Brandon peered through the telescopes set to a much lower power than they had been using, Scooter noticed that Brandon was looking a little depressed.

 

"What's wrong?" he asked.

 

“My birthday was yesterday. Kind of a bad place to have it I guess. Nobody knew about it, and I even forgot."

 

Scooter felt bad. He should have remembered that it was Brandon's birthday, but was hard to keep track of the days. Brandon had turned fourteen yesterday while lost in space and nobody knew it, even Brandon himself. Scooter wondered where he would be when he turned fourteen, if they even lived that long.

 

It took only a couple of hours to find a planet. Every boy was given a chance to check it out through a telescope. The distance of its orbit from its star was nearly the same as Earth’s orbit was from the sun, and it was close to Earth in size. The plant was now visible on the view screen, slowly filling up the screen.  When “Moonduster” got close, the boys could see that the planet wasn't like Earth at all. It was a desert planet like Mars, and like all of the planets that had been colonized so far.

 

"There you have it," Robert Charles gloated. "Nothing, just like I said. You want to land there?  I don't think so." Not for the first time Alex wanted to throw Robert Charles out of the airlock. He was more concerned with being right than with the safety of the boys he was supposedly leading.

 

Scooter and Brandon were down in the little observatory they’d created in the bow, checking out the planet. They buzzed Alex on the intercom. Alex had just finished hitting the reverse thrusters on the rockets to stop the "Moonduster" close to the planet. He wasn’t yet ready to try putting the shuttle into orbit.

 

"Alex, get Douglas and Robert Charles. We're coming up. We found something interesting," Brandon said.

 

The five of them met in the galley.

 

"We have the readings on the atmosphere," Brandon said.

 

"What are they?" Robert Charles asked.

 

"About 78% nitrogen, and 21% oxygen, with carbon dioxide and other gasses making up the rest," Brandon said.

 

"See, I told you we couldn't land there," Robert Charles said. "The atmosphere is poison."

 

"I don't know where you went to school," Douglas said, "but that's just about exactly the mix of Earth's atmosphere. We can breathe it."

 

The five boys looked at each other. Now the only question was, should they land there? That was for the whole group to decide. This time Robert Charles didn’t argue about having a vote. It was looking more and more like he wasn't running the show like he wanted to.

 

Before the vote Ryan had a question for the group. “If the planet has an Earthlike atmosphere, doesn’t that mean there should be life on it? Doesn’t it take life and oceans and things like that to create that kind of atmosphere?” Nobody had an answer. Brandon and Scooter had found no sign of life in their scans of the surface. 

 

The vote was unanimous – land. Even Robert Charles had to concede that everybody, including himself, were all sick of being cooped up. Even a desert planet had to be better than being locked in space in the small shuttle. They had food, water and the locator.  And maybe there was something hidden on the surface that they couldn't see from space. There might even be water somewhere. Whatever, they wanted to be on a planet again—to walk on land instead of stumbling around in the low gravity of the shuttle.

 

Alex was now genuinely worried. He’d been hoping their ordeal wouldn’t come to this. He looked at the simulator scores. The landing had to be just right. Hit the atmosphere too steep, the ship burns to a crisp. Go in too shallow and it bounces off the atmosphere and gets flung back into space. Robert Charles had landed safely only once in ten tries. Alex looked at his own scores. He had tried 35 landings. Twelve had been successful, including his last five. On eight of them he had come in too steep and burned up. Fifteen of them had been too shallow. On four those fifteen his simulator shuttle had broken apart because the stress was too much for it. It had survived the other eleven and could be flown around to try again.

 

Alex knew that if he made a mistake, it would have to be coming in too shallow rather than too steep. They had plenty of fuel for making extra tries. As long as he didn't pull up too fast, they could circle around and try again.

 

Alex looked down at the gauges. He would need Robert Charles as a copilot again. How he wished somebody else had raised their hand back on the “Starkeeper”. Then something caught his eye.  He pointed it out to Robert Charles.

 

"Look at the fuel gauge," Alex said.

 

"Shit. It's only at a half. We hardly used any fuel getting here—it should be close to full. There has to be a leak someplace."

 

"That meteor must have hit the fuel tank or a fuel line. It was close to full before we reached this planet's orbit. We're going to have to land quickly if we're going to do it before the fuel leaks out." Alex tried going through the manual to see if he could shut the fuel supply off. He couldn't find what he wanted. His hands were shaking.

 

"We have space suits. We could go out and fix the leak."

 

"Get real, RC. Nobody here knows how to use a space suit or how to fix a leak. We don't even know where to look. We have to land now."

 

"You're right,” RC agreed as they watched the gauge drop down below the half mark as the fuel continued to leak.

 

"Tell everybody to buckle in," Alex said. "I'm going to land this sucker." He looked at the falling gauge. The attempted landing was going to be different than he’d planned. He couldn't go in shallow and do it again if he was off the mark. The leak would give him only one chance to make his approach, and it would have to be near perfect.

 

Next: Chapter 21 A Long Way Down.