Finding My Way Home

Chapter 10

Christmas was a wonderful time for all of us.  I had always been taught that it was a holiday for families.  That was never truer than it was that year.  I had real family for the first time.  Their love for me and mine for them made me happier on Christmas Day than I had ever been.

Edan and I had gotten up early so we could watch them as they caught their first glimpse of the tree and it's mountain of gifts.  We weren't disappointed.  My big strong teenage men never looked more like little boys to me than they did that morning.  The three of them came padding softly down the stairs in their socks and sweatpants and all three were wearing T-shirts they had stolen from Edan's wardrobe.  They all had terminal cases of bed head.  Everything else about them paled though when I looked at their eyes.  The brightest jewels in the universe could not have sparkled more that morning.

There was a big warm fire crackling away in both fireplaces.  I had a nice light breakfast on the table.  The boys stopped at the bottom of the stairs looking first into the parlor at the tree, then at the food in the dining room.  They were obviously torn.  I finally settled it for them, by calling them to eat first.  Of course, I had ulterior motives.  I wanted to watch them open their gifts as badly as they wanted to open them.

"What's this?" Brendan asked in surprise.  He picked up the small box beside his plate.

"That's your lump of coal," Edan teased.  "Santa didn't want it to get mixed up with the good stuff."

"We decided to keep your present separate," I explained.  "That's the only thing you got this year that we could wrap, and I wanted to talk to you about it.  This little box brings a lot of responsibility."

Brendan opened the box and the keys fell out on the table.  Derek gasped as Brendan stared at them.  He slowly looked back at me.  I merely nodded and pointed to the French doors.  The boys jumped up and ran for the porch.  There in the driveway sat a not quite new Jeep Cherokee.

"I know it's not a flashy sports car," I began.

"It's great," Brendan stopped me.  "Four wheel drive means we can take it to the pond out back."

"We don't have to go to school so early any more," Derek pointed out.  "And we can go to the mall or the movies in town."

"There are some rules that go along with it," I cautioned.  "You have to pay for the gas you use.  You have to let us know where you're going and how late you'll be.  And you have to give Ephraim rides when he needs them and neither of us can do it."

"Does that mean I have to get a job?  I mean, how else am I going to pay for gas?" Brendan asked.

"Let's go back inside where it's warmer," I suggested.  Once we were all back at the table, I informed my brother of some recent events.

"Our biological father did not have a will when he died," I explained.  "His estate was settled with me as the only heir.  Since discovering our relationship, I've had the company lawyers draw up the necessary documents to include you.  I learned after his death that he didn't work for the computer repair company as I had always thought.  He owned it.  I have recently learned that I also didn't know how well the firm was doing.  What I thought was one office with 20 or 30 employees is in reality a three state operation with over 300 employees."  I paused, letting this all sink in before continuing.

"I have no interest in this line of work at all," I told Brendan.  "I have seen to it that the company has adequate leadership for the present, but it's my intention that you eventually take over.  You've already expressed interest in that sort of thing, and you're good at it.  Therefore, you are 51% owner of the company, and I am a silent 49% partner."  Every one of them looked at me when I said the word silent.  "Well, a quiet partner, then," I corrected.  "You won't be able to take control until you are qualified to do so, but until then, your share in the company's profits will help you pay your own way.  You also have the option of working there part-time while you are in school to learn more directly about the company and the business in general."

"I can't believe this," Brendan whispered.  "This is the most awesome Christmas ever."  He got up, walked over to me, and knelt beside my chair.  "Thank you, Cameron.  You don't have to do all this to make up to me for anything, you know.  I would still think you were a great big brother without all the gifts."  To my surprise, he grabbed me in a tight hug.  I happily returned the embrace.

"I haven't given you anything today that didn't belong to you anyway," I told him.

"What about the Jeep?" he countered.  "I'm sure I didn't already own that.  And don't try to reason your way out of that one.  That was a gift.  The computer company you can claim was mine by inheritance, but not that."  He paused and shook his head slowly as if he were trying to shake the facts into an acceptable form.  "I can't believe I own my own computer firm."

"You won't be making millions right away," I pointed out.  "Currently, your share of the company will net you around 58 to 62 thousand a year.  That's more than enough for gas and insurance, as well as college, when the time comes."

"This is awesome, Cam," Brendan said.  "I wish I had known I was a man of industry.  I would have bought some gifts of my own for you guys."

"Having you for a brother is all the gift I need," I assured him.

"Speaking of gifts," Edan announced loudly.  "There is a room full of them waiting for the rest of us." 

We all got up and went into the living room.  Derek and Ephraim dove for the tree while Edan and I took places on the couch.  Brendan joined the boys on the floor.  I watched the boys tearing into their gifts with happy satisfaction.  I didn't notice that Edan had left the room until he returned.

"Cammy, this one is for you."  Edan held a large flat shipping crate.  I took the package from him and opened it to reveal a framed print of Steve Walker's painting, "The Painters."  Edan grinned and said, "I thought it was appropriate for the place."  I looked at the picture of a guy painting a wall while another man sat on a bucket behind him and supervised. We both laughed before he told me, "I hate painting, but I love you."

"I love you, too," I told him.  I motioned for him to sit back down beside me.  When he did, I gave him a big hug.

I got more pictures from the boys.  There was an 8 x 10 of Brendan and Derek from Brendan.  Derek gave me a 5 x 7 of all three boys.  Ephraim presented me with a 5 x 7 of he and Derek.  The boys then told me that they had chosen a Steve Walker print for me as well, but it hadn't arrived yet.

"We picked a picture called 'Survivors'," Ephraim told me.

"It shows three guys being rescued by an airplane," Derek explained.

"You're the airplane that rescued all of us, Cam," Brendan announced.

"You guys don't know how much you rescued me," I told them.  "You brought me the life I had always wanted, had always dreamed of.  I never thought I could have the happiness I feel right now, but I do because of you."  We had a group hug that was wonderful, and then a thought occurred to me.  "Where am I going to put all these works of art?"

"That's your other present," Ephraim giggled.

"We're adding onto the house," Edan answered my unspoken confusion.  "You are commissioned to design a new wing for the house to consist of our Master Bedroom suite, and your new office space, and a larger closet."

"Make it soundproof while you're at it," Brendan quipped.  The boys all laughed as I blushed profusely.

Janice, Beth, and Grandma Sarah joined us for Christmas dinner.  They had all brought more stuff for the boys.  Janice also had news for Edan and I concerning Ephraim.  She waited until the boys were upstairs before telling us, though.

"Cameron, Edan," Janice began.  "I have good news and great news, which do you want first?"

"Good news first, I suppose," I replied.

"Rev. Good-for-nothing was officially confronted by my department for repeated failure to attend the parenting classes that we require to reunite his family," Janice informed us.  "He refused to attend and was told that he could lose Ephraim permanently.  He said he already had.  He produced legal papers forfeiting all parental rights and responsibilities."

"What does this mean?" Edan asked.

"That's the great news," Beth answered.

"This paper names you and Edan as Ephraim's parents," Janice announced excitedly.

"Does this change my name?"  We all looked up to see Ephraim standing in the doorway.

"Ephraim, I wanted to talk to you about this with Edan and Cameron, but I didn't want to surprise all three of you at once," Janice began to explain.  "That's why I told them first."

"I don't care about that," the boy told her quickly and firmly.  "Does this change my name?"

"No, this paper does not change your name," Beth answered.  "It does ask that you do that as soon as possible, though.  Would you want to do that?"

"The last thing my father said to me at the sheriff's station was that I was dead to him," Ephraim recalled.  "Now he'll be worse than dead.  He won't exist at all to me.  Without his name, there is nothing proving that I don't belong here."

"You do belong here," Edan told him.  "Don't ever think otherwise.  This is your home for as long as you want it to be."  He held out his arms and Ephraim ran to him.  "I love you, son."

"I love you, Pop," Ephraim sniffled.

"I love you both," I added.  Edan and Ephraim each grabbed me and pulled me into their embrace.

"Who needs him anyway?" Ephraim asked.  "I've got a Dad and a Pop now and I never wonder if they love me.  I wouldn't have any other parents if someone tried to force me.  I'm going to keep you guys forever."

"We're going to keep you forever, too."  This time I was sniffling.  "I get a son and the best part is he's already housebroken.  No diapers or potty training to deal with."  Everyone laughed including Ephraim, although he did blush a bit.

"I'm going to call Peter and tell him," Ephraim suddenly announced.  He was off like a shot for the upstairs phone.

"Do you think he's happy about the news?" Edan asked with obvious sarcasm.

"I wish it worked this well all the time," Janice said sadly.  "If you saw what I see…." Her voice trailed away sadly.

Grandma Sarah walked up and then gave her a hug as she said, "No getting sad today.  Let's celebrate one case ending happily ever after."

"I agree," I told Janice.  "Now, I believe I saw a piece of cake with your name on it."

"If you don't stop feeding her sweet tooth, I'm going to quit letting her come over and play," Beth scolded lightly.

"What are you complaining for?" Janice demanded.  "You know sugar makes me horny."  She looked over at Grandma Sarah and added, "Sorry, Grandma."

"WHOA!!  Too much information for me," Edan exclaimed.

"YUCK!!!" Derek called from the doorway.  "I just got a totally disgusting mental image."

"Well, if it's any consolation, Derek, I don't find you remotely attractive, either," Janice told him.

"I should hope not," Beth proclaimed.  "I would hate to think that I have been wasting the last ten years on a breeder."

"OK! That's enough of this conversation," I stated firmly.  "I don't need reminders."

"Reminders of what?" Derek asked.

"I was married to a woman for several years," I explained.

"Eww…. That's sick," he teased.  "You never mentioned that before.  Was it that bad?"

"I haven't talked about it very much because it is rather painful," I answered.  "I was afraid to admit that I was gay.  I tried to make a friend into something more just so I could fit into the expectations of other people.  I wound up destroying the friendship and causing two people a lot of pain."  My eyes began to flow as I remembered the mess my life had been in.  "We each found out that things were not working, but we handled it quite differently.  She had an affair, and I began to contemplate suicide.  If Edan hadn't walked in on me that night, I wouldn't be here right now."

Edan grabbed me in a fierce embrace.  Derek and Janice joined us, and a moment later, so did Beth and Grandma.  We all turned and laughed when we heard Brendan call from the stairs.

"I'll join the orgy, but the girls have to go," he announced loudly.  "Oh, sorry Grandma.  I didn't see you there."

"Will everyone please stop apologizing for the fact that I'm in the room?" Grandma asked us all.  "I was young once, and I have been in love.  Just because I'm old, doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two about the world.  How do you know I didn't have a few orgies myself in my day?"

"Grandma!" Derek exclaimed as he clapped his hands over his ears.  "You'll stunt my growth or something."  We all laughed at his desperation to not think about senior citizens and sex.

"You should know by now there won't be any orgies for me," I told my little brother.  "Edan is all I need or want."

"Same for me, babe," Edan agreed.  "I love you more than anything."

"I'm glad somebody loves him," Janice blurted.  "Personally, I just hang around with him because he's a good cook."

"That's great cook to you, Miss Burned Water," I retorted.

"That's not fair," Janice protested.  "I only did that once, and then only because I was distracted."

"By a television show, as I recall," I reminded her.

"Not just a TV show," she corrected.  "It was The Bionic Woman."  She saw the looks we were all giving her.  "Well, I can't help it.  I was a hormonal teenager and Jamie was so butch."  We all laughed aloud.

"When I was a kid, I had a crush on Billy Mumy," Edan confessed.

"Now we know why you watch Babylon 5 so much," I teased.

Ephraim rejoined us and announced that Peter would be over later.  As an afterthought, he added that the rest of the family would be with him.  Needless to say, he fell victim to a bit of friendly teasing about that slip of the tongue.

Beth had news for Dan and Karen when they arrived.  She had been planning to drive over to their place, but since they came to our home, she couldn't hold back.  She had them sit down first.

"Santa Claus left a few things for you at my office yesterday," she began.  "Peter, your gift will be best left in the car for now, but Derek will be right back with the others."

"Beth, I don't…." Dan started to say, but Beth held her hand up, silencing him.

"It will make sense when you see your present, Dan," the lawyer told him.  "For now, I'm having some Christmas fun."  Derek came in then with a large box about six inches deep but four feet long and two feet wide.  He handed this to Brooke.  He produced an envelope for Dan and Karen. 

"With a witness willing to testify not only to the accident, but also to Ritchie's condition at the time of the accident, the family lawyer advised settling out of court," Beth finally explained.  "We agreed on an amount that you should find printed on the first page.  The second page shows the payment arrangements that have been made.  The third page needs your signature accepting the deal.  The last item is the check for the first installment, minus all the fees which are explained with the payment arrangements."

Peter's sister held up a dress of electric blue sequins and crushed velvet.  She whirled around with it, clutching it tightly.  She eventually stopped in front of Beth.

"How did you know that I wanted this one?" the girl asked tearfully.

"I have my ways," Beth answered cryptically.  Karen looked at me suspiciously and I shrugged as innocently as I could.

"You said I have a gift, too," Peter said quietly.  "Did I get clothes, too?"

"No, it's not clothes," Beth assured him.  "It is something you will have to share with the whole family, though.  Your gift is a home computer."

"WOW!" Peter exclaimed.  "Now I can email you, Rimmer." 

"Rimmer?" I questioned.  I saw Ephraim blush slightly and guessed the answer even before I heard it from Peter.

"That's what I call Ephraim," Peter explained innocently.

"You're kidding, right?" Derek asked with a laugh.

"No.  Ephraim…F rim…Rimmer," Peter replied.

"I think it's cute," Karen announced.

"Boys, I would like to speak to you in the other room," I said quietly.  "Dan, Karen, could you join us please?"  The two boys marched away as if going to face the firing squad.  Brendan and Derek stifled their giggles after a glare from me.  Once in the other room, Ephraim spoke first.

"Dad, I don't understand," he began.  "Pop calls you Cammy, so what's wrong with Peter having a nickname for me?"

"Nothing at all, Ephraim," I replied.  "I don't question choosing pet names for each other.  I am concerned with the name chosen."

"I'm not sure I follow," Karen said.

"I think I do, hon," Dan told her.  "Go ahead, Cameron."

"Boys, I am going to ask you a very personal question rather bluntly, but I need a complete and truthful answer," I continued.  "I promise you, I won't get mad at you unless you lie to me."

"We love you very much boys," Dan told them.  "Nothing you tell us will change that."

"I have never lied to you about anything, Dad," Peter defended.

"Boys, you have had a lot of private time in the few weeks since you've met."  I could not believe how nervous I was.  "We need to know how sexually active you are," I blurted.

"Dad!" Ephraim gasped, blushing hotly.

"Ephraim, I only ask because I am concerned about your health and safety," I told him.  "I want to be sure that you understand the risks involved in sex with another boy."

"We can't have AIDS, Dad," Peter announced.  "We've never done anything with anybody else."

"AIDS is not the only problem associated with male to male love," I informed the boys.  "Proper hygiene is an absolute necessity, boys," I added.  "You can give your partner some really nasty infections if you are not clean."

"Guys, Ephraim's nickname implies that you have gotten into some pretty serious stuff, and we want to be sure that you are ready for that kind of involvement," Dan spoke gently.   "There has to be a certain level of commitment to one another on an emotional level before you move on to a sexual intimacy, otherwise you will wind up being hurt."

"I have been in contact this week with someone whom I believe will be of great help to all of us," I announced.  "He is a doctor who specializes in the treatment of gays.  I have invited him to come out and have a talk with us.  Dan, Karen, I'd like to have you here as well, with Peter."

"Thank you, Cameron," Karen said softly.  "I think that's an excellent idea."

"I agree," Dan added.

"Wonderful," I said rather excitedly.  I was so happy to see parents supporting their child.  I tried not to think of how my own parents would have reacted had they known I was gay.  "Dr. Martin will be here next Friday night," I told everyone.

We went back out to rejoin the others.  As I expected, Janice had found the Christmas candy.  She and Edan were sitting at the table fighting over the last piece of fudge like a couple of toddlers.  I resolved the conflict by walking up and popping it into my mouth.

"Thieving bitch!" Janice exclaimed.

"Saw yourself in the mirror, did you?" Edan quipped.

"This abuse is the thanks I get for giving you a son," Janice countered.

"Get off the cross, honey," I teased.  "It's not like you gave birth to the boy."

"Mommy!" Ephraim yelled, giving her a big hug.

"You see what you've done?" Janice complained as she tried in vain to dislodge the twelve-year-old leach on her side.  "You have corrupted him with your twisted sense of humor."

"At least he has one now," Derek mused aloud.  Ephraim promptly stuck his tongue out at his older brother.

"Well, he didn't learn that trick from me," I scowled at Edan.  He just shrugged and then stuck his tongue out at Janice.

"You're as big a delinquent as the boys are," she scolded.  He shrugged again, reaching over and stealing a cookie from her plate.  Janice growled menacingly.

"Now, Edan, I have told you about that," I fussed playfully.  "Never come between Janice and her sweet tooth.  It's like interrupting feeding time at the zoo."

"This place is a zoo all right," Janice agreed.

All in all, Christmas was a really wonderful experience for us all.  In the months ahead, we would need these good memories to keep us going at times.  The New Year would start off with a bang, literally.