Finding My Way Home: Book 2 - Heart And Home

Despite Ray's best efforts, we were stonewalled for over a week by the red tape involved in getting the boys back home.  Derek and Brendan had been put into the solitary confinement wing of the juvenile detention center.  Ephraim and Andy were placed in foster homes at the opposite ends of the county from each other and as far from me as possible.

Because of the nature of the charges that Boyer had me being investigated for, I was unable to contact any of the boys directly.  I had to get my information through Ray.  Brendan and Derek were being watched closely by the guards, who took every opportunity to tazer the teens for any sign of disobedience.  The boys were very good at staying out of trouble, though.  They had learned from their lessons in martial arts with me that they had to remain calm at all times.  This saved them much grief from the hands of the guards.

Ephraim was the boy that caused Ray and I the most concern.  He had been placed, as Boyer had promised, in a strict Christian home.  After Ray's description of the place, I couldn't bring myself to call it that without experiencing intense anger.  The foster father was a self-proclaimed Christian counselor who claimed to specialize in cases of homosexuality.  The man had no education or degree other than a Baptist minister's license.  Ray tried several times to speak to Ephraim alone, but when the foster would leave the room, they were still not exactly private.  The couple had removed all the doors in their house except the one on the bathroom.  They reasoned that God knows all anyway, so there is no reason for doors to shut Him out.

The only boy we weren't worried about, but still missed, was Andy.  He had been put into the home of a loving young couple who had tried for several years to have a baby and had been unsuccessful.  They were overjoyed at the chance to take care of Andy, although Ray said they were always a little short with him when he would mention that his goal was to reunite Andy with me.

Of course, my four boys weren't the only ones suffering.   Jack, Zack, Trey and even Todd were trying everything they could think of to help Peter keep his spirits up, but it did little good.  He had no interest or enthusiasm for anything.  The loss of his father was compounded by the death of Edan and now he was separated from Ephraim as well.  It was plain to see that he was approaching dangerous levels of depression.  Sadly, I have to confess that I was of no help to him, because I was too near the same point myself.

If it weren't for Scooter, Peter and I would probably both have been institutionalized.  He spent every moment he could with Peter, talking about the tragic loss of his own father and how he had learned to cope with it.  His help for me was different to say the least.

"Cameron, when did you sleep last?" he demanded as I yawned while talking with him one evening.

"I don't know," I answered honestly.

"Go to bed, Cameron," he ordered.

"It wouldn't do any good," I protested.  "I can't sleep without Edan. I'm too used to sharing the bed."

"Fine, so I'll sleep with you," he stated simply.

"What?"

"I'll share the bed with you," he repeated.  "Nothing sexual.  You under the covers, and me on top of them."

"That wouldn't be...."

"Ok fine, I'll get under the covers and you can sleep on top," he cut me off.  "You won't talk me out of this.  Your family needs you, Cameron.  They need your strength.  They can't get it if you don't have it to give.  Now, get in that bed.  Look at it as the sleepover we never had in high school."

Janice's recovery had been nothing short of miraculous.  Coupled with the fact that her injuries had not been as serious as originally thought, she healed very quickly.  At the end of a week, she was already feeling good enough to make her nurses miserable because they wouldn't let her do what she wanted when she wanted.  This got worse when she learned of what was going on with the boys.  I hadn't really thought of it as keeping things from her.  I honestly only wanted to make sure her concentration was focused on her own recovery.  I expected some disturbance when I did tell her, but I didn't anticipate doing that until the boys were back.

I had gotten to the point where I couldn't handle sitting around that big empty farmhouse alone all day, so I went to the hospital to check on Janice.  The nurses appreciated my visits more than she did.  I gave Janice someone else to take her foul mood out on besides them.  I was still unprepared for the sheer volume and obvious anger I heard as I stepped off the elevator that day.

"What do you mean Paul has taken over?" I heard.  "He did what to Cameron and the boys?  You wait until I get my hands on him!  No, not Paul, he's not worth the lead to shoot him.  I mean Cameron.  Best friend my fat butt!  What does he think he's doing not telling me something like this.  Ragland is my son, too, damn it!"

I judiciously decided to postpone my visit to Janice... indefinitely.  While I managed to take on an entire gang of teen criminals at New Year's, Grandfather Koji had taught me to choose my battles whenever possible.  I therefore wasn't around to find out what Janice said and did after that.

This is how things went after I snuck out of the hospital:

---

"Ms. Wehrmann, as your doctor, I must tell you that while your devotion to your friends and your job is admirable, there are serious dangers to your future if you insist on leaving the hospital at this point in your recovery."

"What dangers, doc?" Janice snapped.  "The dangers I see to my future are if I stay here and allow my best friend to lose what's left of his family."

"Ms. Wehrmann, if you leave this hospital, you may never walk again," the doctor told her sternly.

"If it weren't for Cameron Ragland, I would have been dead twice now, doc," Janice said just as firmly.  "He's more than a friend; he's family.  He has saved my life twice, and he needs my help now.  I will not turn my back on him."

"You cannot walk," the doctor said quietly, but still made it sound like an order.  Janice was about to say something else, but the doctor cut her off.  "You will stay in the wheelchair at all times to minimize the risk to your spine."

"Now you're talking, doc," Janice smiled for the first time in weeks.  "Give me the chair and let me go."

"Where do we go first?" Doctor Grant asked as she started pushing the chair.

"What are you doing, doc?" Janice asked her.

"I trust you about as far as I could throw...."

"Watch it!" Janice growled.

"I was going to say this building," the other woman replied defensively.

"Oh, I believe that one," Janice retorted.

"Patients never listen to everything their doctor is trying to say, especially the exceptionally bullheaded ones."

"Excuse me?" Janice blurted.  "Don't you have any other patients to insult?"

"You were my last stop for the day," Dr. Grant told her.  "I spent several hours in surgery on you, and I'm not about to let you waste all my efforts.  You are getting my help whether you want it or not.  Now, for the last time, what do we need to do first for your friend?"

"I have files in my office at home that I need," Janice mumbled.

"Do I need to pull your chart from hospital records, or are you going to cooperate long enough to tell me where you live?" the doctor asked sarcastically.

"Your bedside manner needs work," Janice returned.

"We're not beside your bed anymore," Doctor Grant told her.  "What's the address, Ms. Wehrmann?"

"Stop calling me that," Janice ordered.

"It is your name," the doctor pointed out.  "I'll make a deal with you.  I'll stop calling you Ms. Wehrmann, if you stop calling me doc."

"It is your title," Janice said snidely.

"No I am a doctor, not something you tie a boat to," Dr. Grant said quickly.  "I am also a woman named Kathryn who wants to help you help a friend.  Do we have a deal, Janice?"

"Yes, Kathryn, we have a deal."

---

"Cameron, you need to go to the Youth Services office right away," Ray blurted when I answered my phone later that afternoon.

"What's happened?" I demanded.  "Is it Ephraim? Derek? Brendan?  Dear God, not Andy!"

"Calm down," Ray ordered.  "The boys are fine, but you need to get to the office asap.  I'm stuck at the police station right now, or I would be there with you.  When you're done there, I'll meet you at the hospital.  Janice is back in surgery."  He hung up before I could respond to that.

I rushed into the building not knowing what to expect.  I had tried to call Ray back, but his cell phone was turned off inside the police station.  I suddenly found myself on my back on the floor being crushed nearly to death.

"Dad!  I've missed you so much.  They kept telling me that I would never see you again, but I knew you'd get me back.  I knew you would.  I love you, Dad!"

"Me too, Dad!" another voice said from my side, near my ear.  This voice was Derek's.  The first voice, which belonged to Ephraim, came from my chest where he was firmly attached in an apparent attempt to break all my ribs.  I didn't mind one bit.

"Boys, my boys," I wept as I kissed their tear stained faces.  "I've missed you too.  I love you so much.  I don't understand, though.  What's going on?"

"We're all free," Brendan said from somewhere above me.  I looked up to see him holding Andy.  "We can go home now."

"Mr. Ragland, I'll try to explain it all as clearly and quickly as I can," a strange voice announced.  I looked across the room and saw a man sitting, watching us with a smile.  I finally managed to sit up, even though I couldn't have dislodged my two teenage leeches if I had wanted to, which I most certainly did not want.  "I'm Eddie Winters, the new Acting Director of Youth Services for this county."

"What happened to Mr. Boyer?" I asked.

"Mr. Boyer is on administrative leave, pending the outcome of both departmental and criminal investigations," Mr. Winters answered.

"I'm a little confused," I admitted.

"Let me start by telling you that you have a very good and loyal friend in Janice Wehrmann.  I look forward to her returning to work as soon as she can," he told me.  "When Janice learned of what Mr. Boyer had done in her absence, she left the hospital and came into the office here to confront him."

"She did what?  She can't even walk yet!"

"Her doctor accompanied her," Mr. Winters continued.  "It would seem that Mr. Boyer has been tampering with the files in this office for some time.  He wasn't aware that Janice knew of the tampering, and she didn't know it was Mr. Boyer that was doing it until today."  Mr. Winters looked me directly in the eye as he said, "She seems to be somewhat upset with you over that fact."

"Big brother is busted," Brendan laughed.

"There is more you should all know," Mr. Winters said pointedly, gathering our attention again.  "Janice and her physician arrived at the office at the same time I did this morning.  I am actually the State Director for Youth and Family Services."

"I met you at the conference Janice had me speak at a few months ago," Derek mused out loud.  "That's why you looked familiar."

"Quite right, Derek," Mr. Winters smiled.  "I was very impressed with your speech, as most all of the audience was, I believe."  He cleared his throat before continuing.  "I was planning a visit today anyway, so I was surprised when I got a call from Janice asking how soon I could be in the office.  I don't think she was expecting my answer.  I was only ten minutes away at the time.  She wanted me here to witness her confrontation with Mr. Boyer.  We were totally unprepared for his response, I'm sorry to say."

"Does this have anything to do with Janice being back in surgery?" I whispered, already knowing the answer.

"I'm afraid so, Mr. Ragland," he confirmed.  "Mr. Boyer, not realizing that I was in the next room observing his meeting with Janice, attempted to destroy the files she had brought from home which incriminated him.  Janice protected the files as best she could as I called for security.  Unfortunately, before they could get into the room, Mr. Boyer became violent."  My breath caught as his last words sunk in.

"Mr. Boyer lashed out at her, knocking her from the wheelchair," Mr. Winters told us with obvious emotion.  "He also managed to kick her in the back before he could be restrained."

"Oh Janice!" I gasped.

"When she comes out of surgery, please tell Janice that I have taken over this office personally until such time as she names her temporary replacement," Mr. Winters told us with emphasis on the word temporary.  "Make it clear to her that any attempt on her part to resign, or even extend her leave any longer than is medically necessary will be ignored.  We need people like her in this office," he said with a determined smile.

We hurriedly loaded everyone into the car and headed for the hospital.  When we got there, we learned that while we were talking to Mr. Winters, Ray had taken the time to make a few more quick phone calls.  Grandma and Gramps were there and so was Karen.  Ray had not told any of them the good news about the boys, however.

I thought we were going to have to check Grandma into the cardiac unit when she saw the boys.  She seemed determined to do her best to break as many of Ephraim's ribs as he had mine at our reunion in the Youth Services office.  I noticed a look of pain on the boy's face, but wrote it off as the effects of the tight grandmotherly hug.  Gramps listened as I told them that my boys were mine again, and then began to swear revenge on his nephew for not informing them.  Karen was weeping along with Grandma, but she did manage to get out that Brooke, Daniel, and Peter had just stepped out of the room before we arrived.  They had gone to get drinks for everyone while they waited for news about Janice.

Just as everyone was starting to settle down from the emotional reunion, there was an unmistakable crashing splatter as a tray full of drinks hit the floor.  We all looked up and saw Peter standing in the doorway.  The cafeteria tray he had been carrying was resting on his feet and the drinks that had been on it were all over the floor around him.  He couldn't have possibly cared less, though.  His eyes were filling with tears and his mouth hung open as he stared at Ephraim, still too shocked even to move.

In one sense, it was as if the boys were in slow motion, yet at the same time, they seemed to fly into each other's arms at the speed of light.  For the longest time, the two of them stood in the doorway just holding one another while repeating the other's name.  Daniel and Brooke had to squeeze past them to get into the room.  Once again, there was a look of pain on Ephraim's face, but I believed it to be emotional in nature this time.  Still, I decided I would ask him about it as soon as I could.

The boys didn't separate until an orderly came in to clean up the mess that Peter had made of the floor.  Peter immediately told the man that he had made the mess; therefore, he would clean it.  He took the mop from the man's hand and started in to work on the floor.  Ephraim started to help, but when he bent over to pick up one of the cups, he gasped in obvious pain.  Everyone noticed this time.  The boy assured us that nothing was wrong, other than he was tired, and a little sore from something he had done at the foster home.  When I pushed the issue, he started to get upset, so I backed off for the moment.

Dr. Grant finally emerged from surgery and came to the waiting room.  She walked directly up to me with a deadly cold glare in her eyes.  I wasn't sure what to make of her expression.  She appeared angry, and I couldn't imagine what that meant for Janice's condition.

"If you ever endanger Janice like this again, I will see to it personally that you experience the most incredible physical pain you will ever endure," the woman growled at me.  "Don't bother telling me the excuses," she added when I opened my mouth in defense.  "Save them for when Janice gets her hands on you."  Her face softened as she turned to the rest of the room.  "The surgery went as well as I could have expected.  I have done everything medically possible for her.  Now we wait and see."

Ephraim came up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, obviously surprising her.  "Thank you for helping Aunt Janice today," he said quietly.  "If you hadn't, I would still be in… that place." 

When Dr. Grant patted his back comfortingly, Ephraim hissed in pain and winced.  Once again, we all noticed and so did the doctor.  Before he could stop her, she had pulled up his shirt and we all saw nasty red whelps and dark purple bruises all over his back.  As he twisted away from her in protest, I caught sight of the burn marks on his chest.

"You're coming with me to the E. R., young man," Dr. Grant ordered.  "You come with us," she added with a contemptuous look at me.  "The rest of you stay here and wait for Janice to wake up."  She must have seen the look of both pain and fear on Peter's face as she turned towards the door.  She knelt down in front of him and followed his eyes to Ephraim.  Wiping a tear from Peter's face, she spoke very tenderly to him.  "You'd better come along, too," she almost whispered.  Louder she added, "You can keep him away from the other patients so he doesn't worry them the way he did Janice."  At the word him, she had pointed rudely at me.

By the time Ephraim's examination was over, Peter and I were ready to storm the nurses' station demanding information.  The physician on duty in the emergency room had gone in with Dr. Grant, and only a couple of minutes later, a nurse joined them carrying a camera.  Finally another woman had gone into the room with a tape recorder.  I recognized her as one of the social workers from Janice's office who was assigned to the hospital.  Just after that woman went in, Dr. Grant came out.

"Mr. Ragland, you need to go in and witness Ephraim's testimony," she said as she wiped tears from her own eyes.  "We have documented on film all of the external physical damage that has been done to Ephraim, but as his parent, you have to be present for the taping."

"What happened to him?" Peter whispered.

"Ephraim will probably tell you the details, Peter, but the basic fact is that his foster parents were monsters and I intend to see them rot in hell for what they've done to him," Dr. Grant said firmly.  The emphasis she put on the last part left no doubt that she was deadly serious.

I walked into the room and saw Ephraim sitting on the exam table.  His pants were on, but it was obvious from the fact that he had no shoes on or even socks, that he had just put them back on.  His shirt lay on the paper table cover beside him.  I saw a nightmare when I looked at his upper body.  The boy was covered in stripes from being beaten, and there were nasty burns around his badly bruised nipples.  I wanted to rush to him and take him in my arms, but I feared causing him pain.  I did stand beside him and put my arm around his shoulders.

"Dad, I'm sorry," he wept into my chest as he buried his face there.  "I didn't mean for anyone to see."

"Don't ever hide the fact that you are hurt from me, son," I told him.  "I love you.  Hiding things from me, even things you think will hurt me only hurts me more."

"I was afraid you would go after them like you did the gang," he returned.  "I didn't want them to hurt you the way Death did."

"I hate to interrupt," the social worker said softly, "but the faster we can get this tape and these pictures into the hands of a judge, the sooner we can stop this son of a….. well, he won't be able to hurt anyone else."

"I'm ready, I think," Ephraim said, even though he didn't sound very steady.

"Mr. Ragland, I know it will be difficult for you, but I need you to remain silent during his testimony as much as possible," the worker reminded me.  I nodded, but I knew she was right.  This was going to tear my heart into pieces to hear, but it had to be done.

A half hour later, Ephraim and I were both in tears, as was the social worker.  He had told a horrific account of being beaten for being disobedient when he broke house rules that had not been explained to him.  Worse than that, he had been hooked up to some sort of electrical device while forced to watch gay porn.  Every time his body reacted the way a gay boy would, a charge of varying strength was sent into him through the precisely placed clamps of the machine.

Peter was finally allowed to come in and join us once Ephraim was done with the recording.  His eyes flowed with tears as he looked at his boyfriend's chest.  "I will kill them," he hissed venomously.

"NO!" Ephraim exclaimed.  "If you love me, you won't touch them."

"How can you say that?" Peter asked him in shock.

"If you kill them, you'll go to jail, and we will be separated again," Ephraim pointed out.  "I can't survive that a second time.  Now please come over here and hold me."

"I don't want to hurt you," Peter gasped.

"You'll hurt me worse by not touching me," Ephraim told him.  "They did this to me to try to make me say that I didn't love you.  I would not give in."

"God, Ephraim, you should have lied to them," Peter told him.  "You wouldn't have been hurt."

"It would hurt more to say that I don't love you, Peter," Ephraim said firmly.  That apparently was enough for Peter to hear.  He quickly crossed the room and gently put his arms around Ephraim.

"I will hold you, but I won't squeeze," Peter told his boyfriend.

"I'll do the squeezing tonight," Ephraim whispered to him.

Peter's face could have stopped traffic a mile away.  "EPHRAIM!!!! Not in front of your dad."

Now Ephraim's face colored.  "Sorry, Dad, I forgot you were there," he mumbled as he buried his face in Peter's shoulder.

"I would have been surprised not to hear one of you little horndogs say something like that," I told them.  "Just remember, both of you, to be very gentle tonight."

"We will, Dad," they said in stereo, with matching blushes.