Harry Potter - Hellion!

 

The sudden appearance of Sirius Black on the floor did not shock the military as much as one might have expected. On the other hand, a very saddened intern began crying in earnest. That took everyone by surprise, particularly his professor.

"What is wrong?" asked a concerned Lupin. "I should be the one crying. I have lost my best friend to a traitor, and you are the one crying?"

"I just lost my newest best friend! That dog! He would have been a perfect guardian for my little boy."

"Oh! I hope I understand."

"No, you do not. He is not all there. Oxygen deprivation at birth, a blue-blood baby."

"Is that why so many nobles are dim-wits? Oops! Sorry. I am being insensitive. Please excuse my behavior."

"You are not the only one to think that, but one of the rare to have the jawbone to say it aloud."

"Given I am a werewolf, I must have the proper mandibles to chew a new one into tough hides."

"Werewolf? It is the second time I hear that word today. Could you explain?"

The sergeant-Major was quite glad to leave the interrogation to the young intern that seemed to be able to gain the trust of animals, werewolves included.

"Well, I turn to a rather huge wolf, once a month at the hight of the full moon. My size, from a picture taken while I was standing beside Padfoot here in his dog form, shows I am about two and a half times bigger than he is. The change to and from werewolf form is excruciatingly painful and tiring, and generally, we are mad with pain. To prevent hurting innocents in our rage, we lock ourselves in a steel cage with a key only accessible with a human hand, not a wolf paw."

"What is the cause?"

"The primary cause is a werewolf bite at the apex of the full moon, The internal cause remains unknown. I have been looking at muggle medicine, and at my own blood samples. It is not bacterial, or, apparently, viral or retroviral, like that new disease, AIDS. I was looking at mad cow disease, which shows similarities, and kind of leads me to believe they might have a similar origin."

"Mad cow? The latest publications indicate it is caused by a prion, a form of crystalline life-form that hitches a ride in the nervous system and spreads along axons, destroying their capacity to transmit their information to neighboring cells. I did my doctorate research on it before applying here for my internship. It never occurred to us it might be transmissible by saliva. We shall look into it. Thanks for the tip."

"No problem. I wish I could use your tools to research my condition."

"Professor?"

"Your new friend is welcomed. After all, comparing the two might shed light on similarities and differences and lead to a treatment for both."

"So you are contagious once a month. Maybe twice if there is a blue moon. The rest of the time?"

"The cause seems to be dormant, but it is difficult to test. We have few volunteers to take a werewolf bite to test the hypothesis that it will not get transmitted by other means."

"I can see that. You need an animal to test transmissibility, diagnostic, and treatment. We use pigs, because, strangely, they are sensitive to most human diseases. We could look into it, if you are interested."

"Sure. What about Padfoot? How long has he been here?"

"Since yesterday. He got severely hurt when a gas tank blew up. Police say he was after a rather short, balding man while they popped into Piccadilly. The short man fired a... spell? At a police officer, wounding him badly, turned on his heels and tried to hit that man, whom had changed to his dog form a second before, thus making a smaller target. The spell missed the dog, but not the gas tank, killing twelve civilians and wounding a score of others. The dog was taken here by military ambulance and put under military protection. From all appearances, the man-dog was pursuing the balding fat-so, whom disappeared. We did recover a finger, cut off by a glancing bullet fired by the hurt officer as he fell to the curse."

"Peter Pettigrew, aka Wormtail, animagus rat whose true character finally shows. Let us wake up Padfoot."

"By the way, what is his name?"

"Sirius Black."

"The Sirius Black? Be advised, sir, that he is being requested to present himself at Her Majesty’s pleasure, all affairs ceasing."

"What now? From the kettle into the fire, that guy seems to get into."

"No, no such forebodings. He is required to sit at the Queen’s table, as one of the three surviving Knights of the Round Table of Camelot."

"What??? What else is that pile of black fur hiding in his family box?"

"Probably more than either of us know, sir. By the way, do you know where we can find a Longbottom?"

"Yes. Alice is Harry’s godmother. Why? Frank is the other Knight?"

"Yes... And Mr Potter composes the ten other seats. Finding Mr. Potter is essential to the stability of the kingdom. Now, how to wake up your friend?"

"Oh, that! Aquamenti Maxima!" said the werewolf, deluging Sirius and waking him up very effectively, with a serious fit of coughing.

"Am I glad my boy is not a wizard? Oh yes! He has this habit of clogging sinks and turning the water on at full force, flooding the basement, bringing down the drywalls, and creating waterfalls from the countertops! The little bugger is as strong as an ox for his age, and pushes chairs next to his target sink, climbs on it, then on the countertop, and opens the water at full blast. I have had to replace the basement ceiling five times this year."

"How old is that little hellion?

"One and a half."

"Who knows, you might yet get a wizard. Quite a few do not show spontaneous magic before four."

"I will have nightmares for years!"

"Sorry, officer. Quite a few mages are born to muggles each year, more than to magical parents in fact. That is one of the reasons for the war within our world."

"Why is that?"

"I wish we knew."

"What is the bright idea of trying to drown me, Wolf? You have dreadful bedside manners! I am barely able to stand, and I do not even have the right to a wheel-chair, and here you go pissing on me with that dry as a bone wooden stick!"

"You were playing Sleeping Beauty, I figured you would prefer this method rather than the kiss from Prince Charming, aka me."

"BRR!"

"So I thought."

Everyone laughed at the exchange.

"So, Lord Black, Mr. Lupin, would you agree to accompany me to the castle?"

"Which castle?"

"Why, Buckingham Palace, where Her Majesty is in residence currently. Balmoral is a bit far."

"I see no inconvenience, after I have changed out of my hit wizard dress, that is. I was on a mission trying to capture that rat."

Lupin looked at the Sergeant-Major, who nodded.

"Go change, and put on your best dress, Knight of the Round Table! You have been called to duty!"

"Stop throwing surprises at me like that, Lupin, or I will bite you! And how do you know about that? It is hidden in the family tapestry so high you need a flying carpet to read the names!"

"It is now public knowledge, Lord Black. The Queen has mandated your recovery at all costs. And your friend might have tried to pull one on you, but I can assure you the situation is such that the surviving members of said Round Table have been called to sit."

"I will not need a table. I am the only one."

"Wrong there, sir. Mr Frank Longbottom, whom you know, is another."

"Frank? Frank Longbottom? Shit! I need a drink."

"Not before lunch sir."

"I need to go get Frank, Sirius. Go change and come back here. We will leave under military escort. Should I bring Alice as well?"

"Every member of the Longbottom family."

"Augusta, Alice, Frank, and Neville, their son. Grab me, I will apparate you to Longbottom Manor. That is in Essex, and it will be faster."

Lupin grabbed the Sergeant-Major, and quickly turned, popping out noisily.

"I wonder if it is always that noisy."

"No. Side-along apparation is noisier because of the greater air displacement. See you." With that, Sirius popped to twelve Grimeault Place, taking his mother, still alive, by surprise.

"What are you doing here, you disgrace to the family name?"

"One more word out of you and your head joins those of the house-elves on that wall, you hear? That disgrace, as you call me, has just received a writ to appear at the Round Table as Lord Black, so shove your attitude down, or you will be walking the gallows! The Laws of Camelot have been reinstated, you out-dated and over-used bitch. Got it?"

Welburga was shocked, and began shivering as she saw her son walk decidedly upstairs to his room. Ten minutes later, he walked back down, wearing the family’s ceremonial dress, his sword, his shield with the Black crest, and the Knight helmet in the family colors. These things had not left their display in a thousand years!

"But! But! Camelot was conquered!"

"So? The writ carries its seal, and the current monarch’s seal, so I am obliged to report as the writ states."

"But she is a muggle!" wailed Welburga.

"So was Arthur. It was the knights and Merlin that carried the weight of the Magic for Camelot. Arthur lost his kingdom after having betrayed his word to Magic, thus removing our bind to protect him and his lands. That bond transferred to his victor, by right of conquest! Read the real history, bitch, not the one you wish happened. Now get out of my way. You can find the history in a book I left on the table in the library. No use trying to destroy it. As the library itself, it is protected by magic that even Voldemort could not break. I will know if you try anyway. You will be dead."

Sirius moved out, and popped right back from where he had come, blatantly ignoring the muggles that had crowded on Grimeault Place after his first apparation.

---

Meanwhile the Sergeant-Major and Remus Lupin made their way to the Longbottom Manor. They apparated right in the middle of a battle between Frank, Alice, and five Death-eaters. The Sergeant-Major pulled out his office pistol and told Lupin "If there is a killing curse, use it. The Queen said no mercy, and she means it."

Remus nodded and quickly moved within range, on the left side. Once he was sure a stray spell would not hit the Longbottoms, he threw in quick succession three Avada Kavadra. The green light caught the attention of one of the death eaters, who dove out of the way, pushing another right in the path of a curse. Lupin had not stayed still, and apparated on the other side, sending another AK point blank at another death-eater.

Meanwhile, the Sergeant-Major used the longer range of his pistol to take out two death-eaters with clean head shots. The loud noise destabilized the lone survivor, who lost his head to a well-aimed cutting curse from Frank and his wand arm to a similar curse from Alice. As the light show vanished, the Longbottoms turned toward the last source of green curse.

"Lupin? What are you doing here? And why the Avada? You know it is illegal."

"No, I had royal permission, Sergeant-Major?"

The officer stepped out from behind a tree, and walked calmly with his pistol, still smoking, pointing down for safety.

"Your friend is right. He has Her Majesty’s permission to use any necessary method to bring down the death-eaters."

"But the ministry..."

"Is disbanded. Right now, most of its members are held at the Queen’s pleasure. Can we get into your manor? We have things to discuss."

"You can see it?"

"Why, yes, Should I not?"

"These bastards destroyed the outer ward stone, Frank. We are no longer safe here. Get your mother, and I will get Neville. We must leave immediately!"

‘Well, that fits with my orders, Mrs. Mr. Lupin, accompany me, please. I think your presence will ease their discomfort."

The four made it quickly to the front door, where an house elf opened.

"Get mother and Neville, Itsy. On the double."

"Sir, before your servant leaves, please take note of this. It is a writ of convocation for one Sir Lord Frank Longbottom, Knight of the Round Table, delivered today under the seal of Camelot and the reigning monarch, Queen Elisabeth II. You have been notified. The convocation applies to your entire family, Sir Lord Longbottom."

Frank took the scroll, examined the seals, turning white, and then broke them to unroll the scroll, where he found, written in Gaelic, the writ of convocation the military officer had mentioned.

"Alice, get our house elves to help! We need to wear the garb that befits this. I will handle mother. Her vulture hat is inappropriate, nor is her usual ‘dressing code’. Itsy, take out the key to the display cabinet, take the clothes out, remove any dust, wrinkles or other undesirable, and see to it Alice and Neville wear the proper vestment for their status. Nestor!"

Another house-elf appeared.

"Get my ceremonial vestments, the blade, the shield, the helmet. Now! Get everything polished!"

The house elf popped out.

"Lisa!"

Another elf popped in view.

"Take me to mom! It is an emergency!"

The house-elf grabbed Frank’s hand and popped him away to where Augusta had taken refuge. As she turned to ask him what happened, he silenced her.

"Mom! Shut up! Lisa, bring her to the display cabinet for the clothes fit for a dowager of Camelot. Mom, you will put these on, as quickly as possible. No questions asked! I have a writ of convocation from Camelot, and it is authentic! Move!"

Shortly, Frank came down with a dress quite similar to the one worn by Sirius.

"We are ready sir."

"I will give you the image of our destination, where we will regroup with another member of the Round Table. Lady Alice Longbottom, handle your son, Neville, I will handle the Sergeant-Major, and Augusta and Frank you do your own porting. Let us go. We need to be out of here before another group of death-eaters wakes up."

Before anyone could ask questions Remus fed them the destination and had them out, taking the military and himself last.

"Sirius?"

"Well, who knew we shared a common history, Frank. Might explain why we ended up on the same side of the dirt road in that war."

---

"Ladies, gentlemen, please move to that armored vehicle. It can resist a direct hit from a 175 armor-piercing round. I doubt anything the wizards can throw will even hurt the paint. Notice the seat belts, and the rather strange seats. They are designed so the vehicle can dive five feet and you would only feel the dive, nothing else. Driver, once engaged, we have red priority."

"Yes sir."

"Can I come with you?"

"Sure, you were very useful as an intern so far. You might shed some lights on other questions. Sit beside me. Talking will be difficult, as you all need helmets and I do not have the time to teach you the use of the communication system."

A few minutes later the armored personnel carrier rolled out, roaring at full speed, as red lights turned green at its approach, and the horn blasted the ears of by-standers. It took twelve minutes to cover a one and a half hour travel within the usual traffic jams of London. The mages were impressed and scared stiff.

"This is nuts!" exclaimed Lupin.

"The situation is nuts, sir. We are there. Radio the Home Security."

"Already done, sir. The chamberlain is waiting on the bottom of the steps," as the driver brought his mastodon to a halt and pointed to a strangely-dressed man.

"Pull the clip up to release the belt, and follow me. Sorry for the rough ride, these are not designed for comfort but security."

The mages and the doctor quickly disembarked and followed the military officer toward the chamberlain.

"I remit these guests to your care, Chamberlain."

"And where are you going? You stay with them. You know them better than anyone else. Order of the Queen herself. And, do not worry about your uniform’s wrinkles. Her Majesty has a temper that would probably iron them out on sight from fear. It is been a blood-bath this morning so far, and she is meeting with a prick that risks a close head shave if he does not begin taking her looks seriously."

"I see. Far from me the idea of rubbing her counter-pelt."

"You better not, that guy is doing a good job at ruffling her fur. No wonder the Coat of Arms carries lions. She would be one if she could be an animagus."

The mages looked at each other, alarmed. How many of their secrets were out?

After a few minutes, the Sergeant-Major noticed they were not going to where he expected.

"Where are we being taken?

"Camelot’s Throne Room was dismantled and rebuilt in each castle that carried the line. Now it is in in that deep underground wing of Buckingham Palace. The Queen ordered it opened since we are now under direct Home Rule and that Parliament is dissolved. Every block was taken down from Camelot, brought to the new siege of power, reassembled exactly as the original, and the furniture kept clean."

"Camelot’s Throne Room? The Round Table? And, I suspect, King Arthur’s Throne?"

"Yes and more. Wait and see."

The Mages made their way with the Chamberlain to an ornate door.

"That is Elvin Wood!" exclaimed Alice. "The last trees were found in the forests of Camelot!"

"Yes. So say the documents. Would one of you light the candles, please? Magically! They do not last and smoke terribly when lit by mundane means. According to the books, they should not."

Alice pulled her wand and did the charm. The candles lit, without smoke, and the room seemed to come alive.

"Proceed and sit into your chairs, those marked with your shields. Your family can sit behind. Her Majesty is coming, and we will serve a meal during which you can ask questions and discuss issues. Be warned. She is on needles."

As they waited, Frank looked at the table. Four seats had emblems. The first seat was topped by the house of Windsor, with all subsidiary emblems. The Queen’s seat, presumably. It was the other one that shook Frank out of his wits. He pointed it to Sirius. On it appeared the coat of arms of Merlin Emrys, of every founder of Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Peverell, Gaunt and a good thirty others. Hidden in the lot were the ten missing Knights of the Round table, with Potter smack in the middle!

"Who sits there?"

"Harry Potter, sir."

"If we can find him that is!" came a cold voice, as the Queen made her way in the room and sat at her designated place. "You are here to help Us find him. He is the foundation of the Kingdom."