A New Life - Memories: West Coast

Chapter Four

© 2006 - 2007 Wolfdancer87. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
© 2006 - 2007 Dark Star. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
Written by Dark Star based on the original story concept by Wolfdancer 87


Portions of this story contain copyrighted characters from other authors. Characters from Memories are © ACFan and are used with permission. The characters from Enterprise Tour and Enterprise Tour: The Early Years are © Greybear and are used with permission. Characters from Memories: Down Under are © Boi From Aus and are used with permission. All characters and references to STAR TREK are © Paramount Pictures Corporation. Since I'm not making a profit from this story, I believe that it is okay to use the characters in this story.

This story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Any celebrities portrayed in this story are used ficticiously and have no resemblance to the personalities or preferences carrying the same name. This story is set in an alternate reality, and in no way, shape, or form reflects any events or interactions which may have or ever will happen in the real world.


(From last chapter)

I knew where they were going to do it, and it wasn't that far from my house, surprisingly but I just hoped I could get there in time.

I couldn't.

When I did run up, it was to find them pulling him to his feet crying and begging them to stop and it was obvious they had hit him already from the blood on his clothes and coming from his nose.

"Leave him alone!" I yelled, as I ran up to them and could see the shock in Lucas's eyes as well as gratitude while there was surprise in the other three boys eyes before they started laughing.

Timmy hit Lucas in the stomach dropping him to the ground again. "I SAID LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!" I screamed as they now walked towards me.

I had never fought, but dad had made sure I knew how, so I guess now I would find out.

"Oh, one little sissy is going to protect the other one, how sweet." Timmy said nastily, as I waited, and for some reason, I couldn't resist as I said, "Yep and this sissy is going to kick your asses."

That made their faces turn red and instead of walking towards me they began to run.

Oh shit!


Chapter Four

Timmy got to me first and I brought my fist up into his face and with a scream clutching his mouth he went backwards landing on his butt.

Damn that hurt Kalen thought as he shook his fist in pain.

The other two stopped, looking at Timmy, who was just sitting there groaning before approaching me once again.

I rushed forward and got a good one in on Kenny, but Andy jumped me knocking me to the ground and punched me in the stomach.

Two of them were out of it for the moment, but now Andy, who should have been in 5th grade and was still in 3rd cause he was so stupid, was hitting me like crazy and I couldn't do nothing about it.

Then suddenly, I felt a weight on me and a voice screaming, "Leave him alone you Neanderthal," and Andy screaming, "Get off me, Get off a me!"

It was just what I needed, as he was pulled off of me a bit and I turned on my side and brought my knee into his balls, causing him to stop screaming and begin making the strangest noises I had ever heard, as his eyes bugged out of his head.

I scrambled back from him and saw that my rescuer was the sissy who was breathing hard and had just placed a kick into Timmy's nuts too, leaving him in the same state as Andy.

Kenny had been watching this and as Lucas turned towards him he got up and took off running, with Lucas calling, "Who's the sissy now?" to his back.

Lucas turned back to me and asked, "Are you alright?"

I thought about it for a moment and said, "Yeah, thanks" thinking that my stomach hurt like shit and my shoulder too, from falling on it, along with a few other places.

"What about you?" I asked.

"I'm okay, I guess," he said, sounding a bit unsure.

"Let's get out of here," I told him, going over to pick up his books while he followed slowly.

Once everything was picked up, we started walking quickly away before they got up, and headed towards my house.

"Your nose is still bleeding," I said to him.

He shrugged his shoulders and I said, "You better get home and get your parents to look at it."

I was surprised when he got a look of fear on his face and quickly said, "I can't go home looking like this, please."

I don't know why I did what I did next, but something about the look in his eyes made me say, "Come on to my house and we can get you fixed up."

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah, my mom's a nurse, and she'll be home now," I said.

We walked in silence towards my house, and when we got to the front door, mom was just opening it.

"Bobby, who did…." She started to say before trailing off upon seeing Lucas standing there.

"What happened?" she asked, quickly sucking in her breath as she walked forward and took Lucas's chin in her hand turning his face this way and that, looking at it carefully.

"Mom, he needs to get cleaned up," I said to her.

"What happened, Robert?" she asked again, turning her gaze to me.

"Timmy and his friends jumped us," I said, as Lucas looked at me.

"They jumped me and Bobby saved me," Lucas told her, before mom could say anything.

Mom looked back and forth between us for a moment before saying, "Come on then," taking us inside where she got Lucas's nose to stop bleeding, and finding him a clean shirt, telling him to go into the bathroom and wash up and change clothes.

When he came out with some of my clothes on, and his dirty ones in his hands. Mom took them from him, and went to clean them up. We were left sitting there staring at each other.

"Thanks," he said to me, shyly.

I didn't say anything, just looked down not even knowing why it had become so important to save him.

"I know you don't like me, but thanks anyway." he said quietly, causing me to look up to find him looking at me with tears in his eyes.

I didn't know what to say, but then I found my mouth open, as I said "I didn't like myself much lately," which caused a puzzled expression to appear on his face.

"I don't get it," he finally said.

"Before you came along," I said, hanging my head, "They picked on me all the time." I didn't raise my head for a minute and then said, "I was just glad that they had found someone else to mess with," I told him.

"I was glad you were the crybaby, now," I added.

There was silence, nothing but silence, and finally I couldn't take it anymore as I looked up to find him watching me.

Just watching me and nothing else.

I have never had anyone just look at me that way. I could feel him focused entirely on me and it was an unsettling feeling, to say the least.

"I'm really sorry," I finally said to him.

"Why?" he asked, "You don't like me anyway, so what does it matter?" he said with bitterness in his voice.

He was right, but at the same time he wasn't, and for some reason that I didn't quite understand, it did matter.

I shrugged my shoulders and then said, as if it was someone else, "I was afraid to like you," which got an incredulous look on his face as he just stared at me.

"You, were afraid of me?" he said laughing a little bit, without amusement as I said "Yeah."

"Why?" he asked me, completely not understanding how I could be.

"You were like me," I said, and he just looked at me without saying anything.

"Would you boys like something to eat?" mom asked, walking into the room and saving us from anymore conversation for the moment.

What boy wouldn't, and we both said "Yes" at the same time before breaking out in giggles as mom just shook her head and walked out of the room.

She came right back in with a container filled with homemade chocolate chip cookies and set them down on the table between us, saying "I'll be right back with the milk."

"Did you call Andy what I think you did?" I asked, smiling as we both began devouring the cookies, just as mom walked back in with the milk, setting it down on the table for us.

"Yeah," Lucas said, shyly.

"You know he has no idea what the word means?" I asked laughing.

"I didn't think he did, which is what makes it so neat," Lucas said, smiling now.

"Yeah, it's fun using big words on the illiterate," I said.

"Ain't it?" he said, laughing now himself, "He'll drive himself crazy now wondering what I called him."

That was the beginning, don't ask me how, with my stupidity, but that afternoon over some of mom's cookies, began a friendship that became so much more.

It was funny, but from that afternoon on, Lucas and I became inseparable and spent every possible moment together.

The only thing strange about it was that for the longest time, I never went to his house.

It was months before I found out why.

One day I got up early, and decided to surprise Lucas by going over to his house to get him for a change so I ran all the way over, excited to see him.

When I got there, I knocked on the door and it was opened by a man who stared down at me and for some reason he scared me a lot.

I didn't know why, but just the way he was looking at me made my dick get all small and it felt like I had to pee real bad.

"What do you want?!" he said in a very unfriendly voice.

"Ah…I mean…I…Is Lucas home?" I finally got out.

He just looked at me and I got more scared by the minute, before he said, "Wait here," and walked away.

Next, I heard yelling from upstairs, "What did I tell you boy, about your little faggot friends coming over here, and disturbing me?"

Now I was scared for Lucas, as I heard him cry "Please, I'm sorry, please don't," and I could hear the sounds of him being hit.

Oh God, what had I done?

Then Lucas came running down the stairs crying, and pulled me as he ran past me crying "Come on!"

I didn't wait, just ran after him and he didn't stop until we got half way to my house.

He stood there with his head hung down and didn't say anything until finally I said, "I'm really sorry, I didn't know."

He shrugged his shoulders and mumbled, "Not your fault."

"Yeah it is," I told him.

"He hit you," I said.

He raised his head and shrugging his shoulders, said, "Yeah he always does if it wasn't this, it would be something else," he told me.

"Let's just go to your house, okay?" he said and that was the end of it, although I didn't go back to his house for a long time.

I tried to talk to him, but he didn't want to talk about it, so I let just it drop.

Another strange thing was that while I had been naked around Lucas lots of times, he never was around me.

He saw me and my brothers naked a lot, but he never took his clothes off except alone in the bathroom.

I asked him once about it and he just said he didn't want me to see his dick so I let it go at that.

I guess some families were just different about that stuff and his was one of them.

It was about two months after that visit to his house, that one day I ran into the bathroom to take a leak and found out why he never changed in front of me.

I had been playing with my brothers and Lucas was playing with my little brother Danny when I had to go real bad and ran for the bathroom.

Mom had come by to tell us to get ready for bed a few minutes ago, and without thinking I ran into the bathroom not realizing that Lucas had already gone in there to change.

I had my dick out already and was at the toilet peeing before I even noticed him standing there naked just about to pull up his pajamas.

"Oh, sorry man, I couldn't hold…" I started to say, before I realized what I was seeing as he looked at me, scared.

"Oh my God," was all I could say, as I stared, peeing forgotten for the moment, it was taking care of itself.

"You can't tell anyone," he said desperately.

"What happened?" I asked, in a horrified voice.

"Nothing," he replied, the fear evident in his voice.

"Lucas…" I started to say,

"You better watch what you're doing," he said, trying to change the subject, and I realized I was peeing on the floor and quickly got back to business.

I finished and turned back to him to find him pulling his pajama top on and running past me, out of the bathroom.

I cleaned up the mess quickly and went looking for him.

When I found him, he looked up at me with such a look of fear, and I could see him begging me not to talk about it in front of the others, so I just sat down quietly and didn't say anything.

Soon enough, we were chased off to bed and once we crawled into the bed we always shared, I turned to him and said, "Okay, out with it. What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," he whispered.

"Fine, I'm getting momma," I said, pushing back the covers.

"NO!" he cried out, grabbing my arm as I turned to look at him.

I just looked at him not saying anything, until he said "Please, please you can't tell anyone, ever."

"What happened?" I asked again.

It couldn't be that bad, maybe he'd been in an accident or something.

"I can't tell you," he said.

"Lucas, why?" I asked confused.

"Cause I'd get in trouble," he replied.

"I don't understand," I told him.

He looked down and didn't answer me so I asked, "Did you like get in an accident or something?" which got a bitter laugh out of him as he said, "or something."

"What happened?" I asked again, not letting it go this time.

"Do you promise not to tell?" he asked me, looking up at me again.

"I guess," I told him.

"No, you have to promise, cross your heart and hope to die," he said again.

I didn't understand, but finally I said, "Okay, I promise."

"Cross your heart?" he asked.

I felt a cold shiver go through me, as I said, "Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a dagger in my eye," in complete solemnity.

He was looking at me intently and finally said, "Remember you promised" and at my nod, he said, "My dad."

"What about your dad?" I asked, confused.

He looked down and didn't speak for a moment but finally whispered "He did it to me," causing me to gasp in disbelief.

"Your dad?" I said.

"Yeah, he hits me a lot," he told me.

"Come on," I said, pulling on his arm and dragging him from the bed.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"To the bathroom, I wanna see," I told him.

He followed me in and stripped, without anything else being said, and turned around, letting me look.

I realized then, that he didn't care about me seeing his dick or nothing before, he just didn't want me to see his back.

There were huge wicked red welts on it, and it looked like old ones too.

His dad did this to him, I couldn't believe it, I mean, my God, a guy's parents didn't do this stuff, they just didn't.

I didn't know what to say, as I let him go and stepped back, just standing there as he turned around and looked at me.

"It's okay, I'm kinda used to it now. I know you thought I was being weird before, but now you know," he said.

"Can't you do something, tell somebody?" I asked.

"You promised?" he said with panic in his voice now.

"I know but…"

"No, I ain't goin' to no orphanage, and that's where they'd put me if they even did anything," he said.

"It's gotta be better than this," I told him.

"No," was all that he said.

"I bet my mom could help," I said.

"NO, Bobby, you promised, please," he begged now.

I walked over to him and put my arms around him and just held him to me and said, "I know, I won't say anything, ever."

That promise sealed his fate, I'm sorry to say.

We peed and went back to bed and from then on, if no one was in the room, he changed in front of me.

Sometimes the marks were worse than other times, but there was always something there not to mention the scars from long ago beatings.

Lucas began to spend a lot more time at my house, and I think that mom and dad sensed that something was terribly wrong at home for him, because they would ask repeatedly if everything was alright, but Lucas always told them everything was fine.

They did what they could, and loved him like he was one of their own, but that was all they could do.

There were times when he would spend a whole week at our house without ever going home, and his dad never even called once to check on him.

We went to his house now and again to do stuff, but only when Lucas was absolutely sure his dad wouldn't be home.

His dad seemed to come home really late though, so usually we went over only so he could do his chores and I always helped him, so he could get out of there as soon as possible.

Neither one of us wanted to be there if his dad should show up unexpectedly.

We first really discovered our bodies about a year later, when we nine and it was by accident, although we had looked at each other before and even touched each other a couple of times, but it wasn't anything really sexual just checking each other out.

We had run into the bathroom to use it as usual, just barely making it, only to find Jimmy in there already in the shower.

We started going and then we noticed what he was doing and that he hadn't noticed us yet somehow.

He was doing something to his dick, as we looked on and we both were very curious but we also didn't want to get caught, so we finished up and went quietly out of the room.

That night though when we got under the covers, we started talking about it and then of course we had to try doing what we had seen.

It felt kinda good, but we didn't really get it. It made them hard and all, but Jimmy seemed to like it a lot more than we did.

We went to sleep and decided we'd ask Jimmy the next day.

Sure enough, we found Jimmy and I said "Jimmy can we talk to you a minute?"

"Sure," he replied and kinda nervously I said, "Well…umm…we kinda had to go to the bathroom…" I started off looking at Lucas who said, "And we couldn't hold it and we didn't know…"

"What's going on, guys?" he asked, looking at us.

"We're afraid you're gonna be mad at us," I said, and Lucas nodded his head.

"Come on," Jimmy said, leading us off to the fort we had in the tree.

When we got up there he said, "Look guys, I'm not gonna be mad at you, just tell me what's wrong, okay?"

I looked nervously at Lucas but finally said, "We had to go real bad and couldn't hold it."

"Okay you always wait to the last minute to go, did you pee yourself again?" he asked causing my face to heat up in embarrassment as I said "NO!" in indignation.

"Okay so what's wrong?" he asked with a confused look on his face.

"Well we didn't know you were in there" I said as Lucas said "We swear, we just ran in and were going before we even knew"

"So you guys have seen me naked before" he said now more confused.

"Not like this" I said looking down

"Not like….oh" he said falling silent.

"You saw me?" he asked

I just nodded my head still without looking up at him.

"I'm not mad" he said and looked up to find him smiling at me.

"You're not?" I asked him.

"Nah, I do it in there so none of you little guys see it is all, but mom and dad say there ain't nothing wrong with it or anything," he told us.

"What were you doing?" I asked.

"I thought you said you saw what I was doing?" he asked.

"Well we did," I replied and Lucas added,"We just don't know why you were doing it."

"Well, I was doing it cause it feels really good," he told us.

I looked at Lucas and he just shrugged his shoulders at me.

"It does?" I finally said,

"Yeah it does," he told us, laughing.

"We tried it and it felt okay, but not that great," I said.

He looked at us and then said, "Well maybe that's cause you're still too little."

"We ain't too little," I said, as Lucas added, "It got hard like yours did but it didn't feel real good."

"Well it should have been the most wonderful feeling in the world," he said.

"How can just grabbing your dick be that great?" I asked him, but he just looked at us and started laughing.

"You were just holding it?" he finally asked, with a huge grin on his face.

"Yeah, that's what you were doing," I replied, not happy now that he was laughing at us.

"I'm sorry, little brother, but you got to rub it, that's what I was doing."

"You were?" I asked, as both Lucas and my eyes got big.

"Yep," he said.

"Will you show us how?" I asked him.

He kinda hemmed and hawed about it, but finally said he would show us if we promised not to tell.

We promised and that began our adventure with sex.

It started out touching ourselves then each other and stuff and it went on a while, but eventually it tapered off as we got older for some reason.

It was fun while we did it though, a lot of fun and it brought us even closer to one another.

As the time went on, that closeness became something that I had no words to describe at my young age. I couldn't stand to be apart, and every moment with him seemed to be when I was alive and every moment apart seemed to be like there was a hole there where something should be.

Soon we were ten and then eleven and it was then that sex came back into our lives, only much different than before, much different.

It wasn't playing anymore, although it started out that way of course, it just didn't stay that way for very long.

By eleven, Lucas lived more at our house than at his and his father didn't care at all as long as the chores were done and he got to smack him once in a while.

Since he wasn't there much, that wasn't happening very often anymore and most of his clothes were at our house.

He still shared a bed with me, although mom and dad had offered to get him a bed of his own a long time ago, he didn't want one so we remained together.

We both noticed an uncomfortable new thing happening lately and that was boners, real hard ones that came at the worst times you could want one.

We didn't understand it, but we knew that when we got them they only got more uncomfortable until we rubbed them like Jimmy had taught us.

At first, we didn't tell each other, but as usual we never hid anything from the other and it wasn't a week after they had started that we told each other about them and admitted to one another that we were kinda freaked out about it all.

Of course we decided to go to Jimmy for answers, and he explained about some of the stuff to us and told us to go to dad and he would talk to us more, after which we were kind of scared to do it, but he took us both by the hand and made us go to our dad and when we got there he simply said, "Dad they're getting boners all the time that won't go away," before turning and leaving us there, dying of embarrassment.

Dad explained things to us, a lot of things that actually made us feel a lot better, even if some of it was rather embarrassing.

He was really a pretty neat dad and he told us all sorts of stuff about it that made us feel a lot better and even told us about this stuff that might come out of our dicks or soon would.

I'm really glad he did, cause I would've flipped out if it had happened and I hadn't known what it was.

Then he said to go back to Jimmy and he could tell us some more boy stuff that we might not want to talk about with him.

We thanked him and did just that.

Jimmy showed us what that stuff was and told us a bunch of stuff that made us feel a lot better about things that we didn't ask dad about.

Of course, before we were done, we took care of the problem that talking about it had caused, and had a lot of fun.

We had been doing it to each other for a while which we really liked but it was a few weeks later that it changed.

One night we were lying in bed in our underwear talking and for some reason we found ourselves rubbing each other and not there either.

Just on each other's backs and arms as we lain facing each other, talking softly.

It was strange and we both realized what we were doing at the same time and went silent looking away in embarrassment, as we pulled our hands from each other.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments before I felt his hand return to me causing me to gasp as it ran up and down my arm and shoulder.

I looked up at him and could see the hesitancy and fear in his eyes, but his touch was sending shivers through me and I didn't want him to stop.

I guess I took too long because suddenly he mumbled "I'm sorry" removing his hand and turning over quickly but I could see the tears in his eyes.

"What for?" I asked softly, as my hand went out to him and I began stroking his back gently.

I could feel him stiffen under my touch and he didn't answer me at first, but slowly turned back to me looking at me intently.

"What for?" I repeated gently as my hand kept up it's motions on him.

This wasn't the experimentation my dad and Jimmy talked about, this was something different. We weren't just playing with our dicks and nothing else.

I liked, no, I loved touching him and it didn't have anything to do with our dicks, well it did, but it was different.

"Don't" he said.

"I don't understand," I said, still rubbing him gently.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he said, turning over away from me.

"Lucas, it's okay, really," I told him, but he responded, "No it ain't, stop," and he pushed my hand off him.


"Stop Bobby, go to sleep," he told me coldly, and that was the end of it, he wouldn't say anything else and when I reached out again to touch him, he got out of bed and grabbed a blanket out of the closet as I watched and proceeded to sleep on the floor.

Nothing I could say changed his mind and I went to bed for the first time in a long time without him by my side and with tears running down my cheeks at the pain of his hurting me.

I just didn't understand what was wrong.

The next morning, mom found us like that and without saying anything woke us up for school.

Lucas wouldn't talk to me or anything all that morning, or on the way to school and it was like a light had gone out in my world.

I was too little to understand the feelings and all I knew was that I hurt inside real bad, but the worst was yet to come because at the end of the day when I waited for him to come out to go home, he walked past me without even saying hello as if I didn't exist.

I was left there on the steps of the school with my mouth open before I closed it and took off after him calling "Lucas, wait!"

"Leave me alone, Bobby," he said, and in such a cold voice that it stopped me in my tracks for a moment just as if he'd hit me, there was no warmth or feeling, other than coldness in his voice.

"Lucas," I called, feeling the tears well up in my eyes as I ran after him again but he didn't answer me.

"Lucas," I yelled, catching up to him and grabbing his arm to stop him.

What happened next left me lost and devastated as he turned on me and snarled, "Leave me alone, I ain't gonna be no fucking faggot, just leave me the fuck alone," and took off running as I stood there feeling as if my whole world had just gone away.

It felt as if a giant sucking pit was swallowing me up and taking all the warmth and light out of my life in that instant, as I watched his back as he ran away, as he ran away from me.

With tears in my eyes, I began to slowly walk home and when I got there, I got another shock.

Lucas had not come home, he had gone to his house.

He would rather be there with his dad than me, now.

I wouldn't talk to mom or anyone, I just went to my room and fell onto the bed crying until I fell asleep.

My world went away today and I knew that my life was empty now, as my heart had gone with it. I didn't understand it but I knew it was true nonetheless.

I woke up to someone rubbing my back softly and at first I thought in ecstasy that Lucas had returned, but almost as soon as I thought it I just knew it wasn't him, as I turned to find Jimmy sitting there with a small smile on his face as he tried to comfort me.

"Hey champ," he said, as I looked at him and I felt the tears falling again.

"Wanna tell me about it?" he asked, after a minute or two.

I just threw myself into his arms and he held me as I cried long and hard for something I didn't even understand being lost now.

Finally when I could stop enough to speak I let him go a little, although he kept his arms lightly around me to offer comfort.

"What happened?" he asked softly.

"I don't know," I told him honestly.

"Something had to have happened," he said gently to me.

"Yeah, but I don't know what," I told him.

"Why don't you tell me about it?" he asked.

"We were lying in bed talking and we didn't even know we were doing it but we were rubbing each other," I said.

"Ah Bobby I thought me and dad told you that it's okay to do that stuff," he said sighing.

"Huh? No, it wasn't that," I said, blushing a bit "We were rubbing each other's arms and backs while we were talking," I said.

He looked at me a minute before saying, "Go on."

"Well, we stopped when we realized what we were doing, but then he started doing it again. I really liked it, but before I could say anything, he stopped again and started crying saying he was sorry," I told him.

"I tried to say it was okay, but he wouldn't talk to me and when I started rubbing his arm he got mad and slept on the floor," I said.

"What else?" he asked.

"This afternoon, I waited like always to walk home with him, only he wouldn't talk to me or nothing and when I grabbed his arm to try to stop him, he said to leave him alone and said he wasn't gonna be no fucking faggot," I told him, crying again as I relived the memory of a short time ago.

"He took off running and…and…" and I just couldn't go on as I broke down again in Jimmy's arms.

When I had cried it out pretty much for now, he asked me softly, "Do you know what a faggot is?"

I just shook my head and replied, "Just something you don't wanna be, it's bad."

"No it's not, at least I hope not Bobby, cause I am one," he said, causing me to look up at him shocked.

All the kids at school said it was a really, really bad thing to be one, and now my brother was saying he was one.

"What…I mean…Gosh Jimmy, you can't be one; it's really bad," I said to him.

He laughed softly and said, "You don't even know what it means."

"So tell me," I said, softly.

He looked away for a moment before looking back at me and saying softly, "You know how a boy likes a girl?"

"You mean that sex stuff, yuck" I said.

"Yeah, that's part of it, but I mean you know how guys love girls when they get older?"

"I guess," I said as the thought of loving a girl or doing sex stuff with one was yucky.

"Well, you know how Mom and Dad love each other?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's okay," I said, smiling a little.

"Well, a faggot is someone who loves a guy that way," he said.

A guy, well that's okay. "You and dad told me it was okay to do stuff with guys remember?" I asked, kinda confused now.

"Ah champ, remember we told you it was okay to mess around with other guys, and then when you got older you would get interested in girls?"

"Yeah, but I ain't ever gonna like girls, I'd get cooties," I told him with eleven year old indignation clearly evident in my voice, which caused him to laugh.

"Oh baby brother, you don't understand, but guys aren't supposed to like other guys that way for long. When you're a kid, it's okay but then you're supposed to start liking girls" he told me.

"So a faggot is someone who never likes girls?" I asked.

"Oh I like them; I just don't love them and I don't think I ever will," he told me.

"I don't get it," I said.

"Look Bobby, when you're a kid, you mess around with other boys and stuff but when you get older you're supposed to start liking girls and falling in love with them. You grow up and get married and have kids and stuff, but a faggot doesn't; he never falls in love with a girl. A faggot falls in love with guys not girls, and it's not just sex stuff but love like Mom loves Dad," he told me.

"Okay, but why is being a faggot so bad, then?" I asked, still not getting it.

He shook his head and then said, "Cause everyone says it's bad for a guy to love another guy the way you're supposed to love a girl"

"Why?" I asked him again, confused.

"Well, cause it is," he told me.

"But that's dumb, I thought love was a good thing?" I said.

"Um well, it is, just not that kind of love," he told me.

"But love is love and it's all supposed to be good, isn't it?" I asked, bewildered.

I was more confused than ever now, and I guess he saw it on my face cause he said, "Wait here," and set me off of him and left the room, leaving me to sit there in confusion, thinking over everything he had said in the last few minutes.

Being a faggot was wrong and for some reason, Lucas was scared he was one, so he was mad at me. I just didn't get it.

Jimmy came back into the room and had Dad with him, who shut the door behind him as he came over to the bed, taking me into his arms as Jimmy sat down beside us.

"Hey champ, I hear you got a problem?" he said to me.

"Yeah dad, Lucas went home," I said to him.

"I know, you're momma told me son, and I'm sorry about that," he said.

"So am I," I told him.

"Jimmy said you have some questions about homosexuality?" he asked.

Looking at him in confusion I said "Huh, no, what's that?" causing him to look at Jimmy sharply.

"Dad he doesn't know that word for it," Jimmy quickly said.

"Well, what is the problem then, baby boy?" Dad asked.

"I'm confused, Lucas is afraid he's gonna be a faggot, but when I asked Jimmy about it he says that it's just a boy loving another boy, so I don't understand what's so wrong with that, but all the boys at school say a faggot is real bad, but it don't seem like it to me and Jimmy says that love is good, but loving a boy is bad and…" I said all in a rush as Dad held up his hand saying, "Whoa, whoa there."

"Okay, first of all 'faggot' is considered by a lot of people to be a derogatory name. The proper term is homosexual, alright?"

"Okay, so they mean the same thing?" I asked.

"Yes, exactly," he replied.

"So why is it so bad?" I asked.

"Well first of all, it's not bad at all, it's just different. Sadly, a lot of people can't accept different though," he said.

"So they don't like it cause it's different?" I asked, still not getting it.

"Essentially yes. Many people feel that homosexuality is wrong, but I am not one of them and neither is your mother," he said.

"I don't understand, hating people for loving someone is stupid," I said to him.

"Yes it is, but it doesn't stop people from doing it I'm afraid," he told me.

"Why?" I asked him.

"Remember the bullies when you were little who picked on you?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said back.

"Do you remember why?"

"Cause I was a crybaby and smarter than them," I said.

"You were open with your emotions and yes you were smarter than they were and they were jealous of that, and the fact that you were different caused them to single you out to hurt you," he told me.

"So, if you love another boy, that would make you different too, and they wouldn't like that?" I asked starting to think I understood it now.

"Yes, that's it exactly. It doesn't make it any more wrong than you being smarter than they were, but it won't stop them from hating," he said.

"That's still dumb," I said, as he laughed and said, "Yep it sure is."

"So all this is cause Lucas thinks he might be a homosexual?" I asked.

"I don't know honey, I just don't know but it sounds like it could be, and he's afraid of it," he said to me.

"Well, I'll just have to tell him it's okay," I replied.

"It's not that easy, Baby, he has heard all his life how bad it is and that is going to be a lot to overcome," Dad said.

"I know Dad, but I think I love him and can't stand for him not to be here," I said, looking up at him.

He just looked at me for a minute before saying, "Honey, if you're a homosexual then so be it, and you need to know that I'll always love you no matter what, okay?"

"Yeah Dad, I know that," I said, not realizing yet just what he was trying to tell me and how important it was to me. I just knew that my dad loved me and always would, it was something that I took for granted, like the sun rising and setting and it had never occurred to me that he could not love me. That was just too alien a concept for my young mind to fathom.

"Well give it a little time with Lucas, and if he loves you half as much as you love him, I bet he comes around and you two will get this all resolved," he told me.

"I hope so Dad, I can't live without him," I whispered.

I can't live without him I thought as my dad hugged me to him and stroked my back offering me what comfort he could, as I thought about those hazel eyes and how much I missed them.

Lucas, please come home.

Editor's Notes:

Well this was certainly a chapter that tears at your heartstrings. It gives us quite a glimpse into the mind of a small boy who would someday become the father of Kalen. More information will be forthcoming in the next chapter. Please be sure to be here when it is posted. I can tell you that you won't want to miss it, although you might want to have a box of tissues handy when you start.

This story is certainly one of the most heartwarming tales we have found. Dark Star has done a wonderful job of bringing the concept into a beautiful story. Don't forget to thank him for writing it.

Darryl AKA The Radio Rancher

Clan Short Archivist's Notes:

Dark Star has certainly opened the door into some disturbing memories that will bear better fruit this time. Dark Star continues to give this concept depth and life and hopefully Kalen now has some hope.